My (Monster?) Hero Life

Chapter 182: The Brown Pants Dilema

Vaskra stared at the Island from her visions coming into her sights for the first time in the real world. She was nervous about what they would find, but she was confident that Foli could protect the port with the main army until their return. From their position in the sky, she could easily spot the hero warships docked near the beach. 

They seemed to be still as if nobody had been left behind to guard them. Everywhere she looked, she could see the wreckage of a large number of ships dotting the waters. A path seemed to have been cut down amongst the trees, leading towards the direction that her visions had shown her the cave was in.

"Captain! Follow that path!"

"Yes, Lady Vaskra!" The goblin replied with what was probably meant to be some kind of a salute.

Vaskra continued to survey the island. It was bothering her that the colossus from her visions was nowhere to be seen. It could turn into a nasty surprise if they failed to locate it. What was even more worrying was that the heroes definitely had a presence on the island, but they nowhere to be seen either. 

Who knew what their plans were for this place. She could only hope that they had no idea about the gate she was attempting to find. Vaskra quickly realised that something was wrong the moment they began to approach the location of the cave. The forest that should have surrounded the entrance had been cleared out. 

In its place, several heroes appeared to be guarding a large rock. The sound of rocks grinding against each other could be heard as what she had mistaken for a massive boulder began to move. When that happened, the heroes rushed to strike it with their spells. Turning it immobile again.

It dawned on Vaskra what was happening. That large boulder was the colossus from her visions, and it had somehow been captured by the heroes. However, why had they captured and not killed it? Heroes were not exactly known for their kindness or mercy towards any other race.

Vaskra watched on as one of the heroes seemed to break a part of its body off and rush inside the cave. 'It must have some special properties for them to take an interest in it.' Her mind wandered the vision of the activated portal, and a feeling of dread washed over her. Things began to click into the place for her.

There were far fewer heroes at the port than what she had expected. The two enemy commanders that had been adamant about getting in her way had a history with herself and Kace. Both of these people were missing from the battle at the port. Now, on the island, the colossus had been captured. The heroes were taking chunks of its body into the cave that housed the gate.

'Fuck me sideways! They're one step ahead!'

Vaskra suddenly felt the invisible weight of running out of time, bearing down on her. If the heroes beat them to the punch, then Kace's life would truly be in danger. It was no wonder that she had received these visions! In her mind, the heroes must have been trying to find a way to follow after Kace so that they could finish what they started.

Which would explain why they had tried so hard to prevent her march towards this direction. They must have feared that they were trying to secure a route home for Kace when he returned. That was something that they could not allow. He had already proven difficult enough to deal with before. Never mind if he had an army to support him!

In truth, she was only partially right. Phillip simply wanted the quest reward for killing Kace and luckily enough, headquarters had sent out a call to arms to all worlds connected to one that was currently having a crisis. It just so happened that this world happened to be the one that Kace had disappeared to so Phillip could not pass up on the opportunity when it presented itself.

Headquarters had even shared classified information on how to operate the gates so that they could gather to provide Guild Master Lauren with support. However, that's a story for another time.

Vaskra eyed the enemy forces below with wary eyes. Once they were on the ground, there would be plenty of places for the heroes to hide, and she would become extremely limited in what she could do. 'Seems like we'll just have to repeat the trick at the port.'

"Prepare to jump!" Vaskra announced to the monsters standing on the deck. Most of them were excited to experience the thrill again, but there wearisome groans of dissent amongst them. The loudest complaint came from the orc who just so happened to have developed a liking for wearing brown pants ever since their last jump.

This orc felt fortunate that he had managed to avoid any embarrassment during the last raid. Explaining away his brown shit stain as having come from a hero that got disembowelled and the contents splashed on him. Nothing was embarrassing about this for a warrior, but he could not use the same excuse twice. Hence the need for the brown pants.

After all, he had narrowly avoided having his name changed from Rigrut, which meant Great Warrior in their native tongue, to Shizran, which roughly translated to One Who Shits Themselves. Just imagine trying to explain the reason behind that name any prospective partners! He would be lucky if any woman ever even looked at him in the eyes without bursting into laughter.

Finally, the signal came for the jump. Rigrut had barely travelled ten meters from the ship in a free fall before he felt his bowels loosen. An all too familiar feeling of a warm, thick liquid trickled between his clenched, ugly green ass. 'Thank god I wore my brown pants!' Rigrut was pleased with his own ingenuity. Unfortunately for him, his name did not mean One Who Can Sew. 

Somehow he had failed to notice the gaping hole around his left arse cheek. A foul-smelling dribble of thick brown liquid leaked into the air. Splattering the orc following close behind right in the eyeball. There was no mistaking what it was or where it came from. Poor Rigrut had no idea, but his name had already just been officially changed to Shizran