Why Did I Become the Villainess?

Chapter 386  : Soon

 Things are out of the script! Everything that is happening right now is not supposed to happen. n/ô/vel/b//jn dot c//om

 I walk back and forth around my room. Panicking because of what is currently happening. I knew I needed to do something already, but my mind couldn't think of anything.  I just returned home after the conversation we had with the royal family, Godfather and Principal Germund. And I still couldn't help but feel frustrated with how our conversation ended.   The King and Queen tried to convince Godfather and Principal Germund to continue supporting the Vrawyth Kingdom. However, it was no use because they were decided already.   Even my words don't have any effect on them. No matter how much I convinced them, they wouldn't listen to me. In the end, the Vrawyth Kingdom lose its two powerful backings, the Illorian City and the Alderdeen City. Now that we have already lost them, it will be more difficult for the Vrawyth Kingdom when the war comes.

 It seems like what Prince Fraser did greatly disappointed them, and there is no way they will change their mind.  I mess my hair out of frustration and groan. "What should I do then? I couldn't just stay here and watch things progress like this. Soon the war is about to come, and if the Vrawyth Kingdom loses the support of Illorian City and Alderdeen City, it will be more difficult for the Kingdom to go against our enemy. I need to do something about this, but what can I do?"

 I slump my body on my bed and close my eyes. Hoping that if I calm down a little, I can think of a way how to deal with my problem.  However, no matter how much I tried to relax, my mind couldn't help but replay the conversation I had with everyone in the Palace.

 I get up from my bed out of frustration. "This won't do. Even if I stay inside my room for the whole day, I don't think it is possible for me to calm down." I abruptly stand up and nod my head. "That is right. I need to get out and get some fresh air. I'm sure taking a stroll around the capital will help me."

 I immediately get out of my room. It's a good thing I didn't bump into anyone on my way out, or else it would be impossible for me to get out of this house.  Mother and Father told me to stay in the house for today because they are worried that I might run off to somewhere again. They were probably traumatized already because I often ran away from home. And I'm sure each and every one of our people was aware of that. So, I need to get out of the house without anyone noticing me.

 I originally planned to stay for the whole day because I knew how much I would make my parents worried. However, staying in this house for the entire day doesn't seem good for my mental health. I need to take some breather to calm my nerves so I can think of a way how to resolve the current conflict the Vrawyth Kingdom is facing.

 I look around me before I climb up the huge tree with a branch facing the back of the Lauretré residence. It's one of real Csille's secret ways to sneak out of the house. But I never used it before because it's too dangerous. The walls that are surrounding the Lauretré residence are too high. Even if there is a rope that could help me get down, I still don't feel confident about this exit way.

 But today is different. I need to get out of the house so I can stop myself from stressing over what happened. I need to think of a way how to convince Ruler Laird and Principal Germund to support the Vrawyth Kingdom again.

 I heaved a sigh of relief when I managed to climb to the tree. It's a good thing I had experienced climbing trees when I was young. Now all I have to do is to get to the end of the thick branch and use the rope to climb down the other side of the wall.

  I take a deep breath. "All I do for the sake of everyone, yet in the end, I will still be considered as the greatest enemy of the Kingdom. Great! What a great destiny, Csille."

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  After managing to sneak out of the house, I was planning to stroll around the lakeside or somewhere close to nature. So I can calm myself down.

  However, I didn't expect to see myself inside Rufus's hospital room. My feet subconsciously bring me here without me noticing.  I got used to running to Rufus every time I had a problem. It's probably the reason why I am here because deep inside, I know he is the only one in this world that would listen to me and understand me.

 I heave a deep sigh and look at Rufus, who is still lying unconscious on his Hospital bed. I slowly walk to his bed while I stare at him with my teary eyes.   I heard from one of the guards who were assigned to guard him that although Rufus's condition is already stable, it is still unknown when he will wake up. He said it might even take weeks, months, or years before he wakes up.

  I sit on the chair beside his bed and hold his hand. "Rufus, when will you wake up? I miss you already." I feel a tear roll down my face, and I smile bitterly at myself.   It was the first time that I felt this lonely again. Ever since I arrived in this world, I was so used to having my parents and Rufus behind my back. But because things were getting worst, I needed to let go of them sooner.  A sob escaped my mouth when the thought of leaving them came to my mind. "Rufus, I wish you were here to comfort me. But I guess this is better. At least you wouldn't have to see me betray anyone. At least you wouldn't see me ruin my own life."

 I stare at Rufus's peaceful face. It would have been good if I were in his place. I wouldn't need to be the enemy of everyone. I don't need to hurt anyone. I don't need...

 I shake my head and slump my head on the side of Rufus's bed.

 It's no use. No matter how much I wish to change my destiny, I cannot do that. I cannot be selfish and follow how I want to live because everyone's life is at risk here.

 I will be the villainess in their eyes despite me having no choice but to do those things just so I can save them.  I look up and touch Rufus's face. "Rufus, I know I never said this to you, but I was happy to meet you in this world. I was happy that you had become my friend. However, I need to cut my ties with you," I sobbed real hard after saying the last words. "I-I'm so-sorry I-I d-don't wa-ant to d-do th-this b-but I ha-have no other choice, Rufus."

 I cried for a couple of minutes before I managed to calm myself down. For someone who grew up saying goodbye to everyone, I didn't expect I would cry this hard saying goodbye to Rufus.  I look at Rufus and smile bitterly. I don't have a choice. I need to break my connection with Rufus because I don't want to involve him in what will happen in the near future. I also need to do this because this is what I have written, and I need to follow it if I still want to save him.

  "I'm sorry, Rufus. I'm sorry for everything." I stand up and squeeze his hand lightly.   This is the end. This is the end of my friendship with him.   "Goodbye, Rufus. Please take care of yourself even if I wasn't there by your side anymore." I take a pause. Hesitating if I should say those words or not. "Please don't love her too much. You'll just end up losing yourself."   I took a last glance before I left his room. This will be the last time I will see him, and what's worst, he isn't even conscious to talk to me.   The two guards immediately stand up when they see me. I just smiled gratefully at them before I left the Hospital.

  There is no turning back, Csille. This is just the start of you breaking your connection with everyone. Sooner or later, you will need to lose everyone and everything you have.   I look up at the sky the moment I step out of the Hospital and smile bitterly.

  Soon...

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  After visiting the hospital, I decided to walk my way to the lakeside. I don't know if talking to Rufus helped me or not.

 I do admit I feel better after talking to him, but at the same time, I couldn't help but be in pain every time I would remember what happened to my relationship with Rufus.

 I heave a sigh and continue walking. I still haven't calmed myself down, so I still need to stay outside for a while to make myself feel better.

  I continue walking my way through the lakeside when suddenly a carriage stops in front of me. I immediately took a step back when I realized that the carriage was unfamiliar to me.  It is not the carriage of Mister Sewell, and it is also not the carriage of any noble family here. The carriage doesn't look like a hiring carriage, so I am sure the owner of this is either a noble or someone from a very wealthy family.  But who is it? And why would they stop in front of me?  A moment after, someone opens the window of the carriage, and the smiling face of Prince Joachim welcomes me.  "Good day, Dame Csille. It's been a long time since I saw you." He looks around. "Where are you going?"

  I heave a sigh of relief. I thought it was someone who had bad intentions toward me, so I'm glad it is someone I knew.

  Although I don't know if I should be happy seeing this Prince, even if he doesn't do anything to me, I still don't feel comfortable around him.

 I smile awkwardly at him. "Prince Joachim, it's a pleasure meeting you here."

 Prince Joachim's eyes shone when he heard what I said. He smiles widely at me. "It's my pleasure meeting you here. May I know where are you going? Are you planning to go to Hope Foundation? I can send you there."

 I didn't answer him the first time. Why would he ask me again for the second time? Can this guy see that I am avoiding that question?

  I heave a sigh. I don't think it is possible for me to avoid this question again. After all, I am no longer the fiancée of a royalty. I couldn't offend him this time.

  "I was planning to go to the lakeside to take some breather." I look at his carriage and shake my head. "But you don't have to send me there. I really plan to walk my way there."

 Prince Joachim frowns. "How can I let you walk alone? There are still people from our nemesis Kingdom. I don't think it is best for you to walk alone."

 I smile bitterly. As if those people would think to harm me. "Your highness, have you forgotten that I am no longer the fiancée of Prince Fraser. So, why would they use a discarded fiancée like me to go against the royal family of the Vrawyth Kingdom? Isn't that a futile move?"

  I heard Prince Joachim takes a deep sigh. Then he shakes his head after. "Why don't I just send you to the lakeside. I think I need some breather too."

 I almost made a face when I heard him say those words. The reason why I want to go to the lakeside is because I want some time on my own to think. But how can I think if he would be with me?  I would rather go back home if that is the case.  I heave a sigh. Even if I want to be blunt with him, I know I couldn't do that. After all, he is a royal, and I am just from a simple noble family. Our differences will always put me at risk. So, I need to compromise even if I don't want to.

 I heave a sigh. I guess living as a noble isn't always as fancy as it seems.