Vaudevillain

Chapter 166: Minions! Assemble!

Resource Hill was the same as it always was, a mash of industrial technologies mixed with various groups using hand tools to cut down the surrounding forest. Having superpowers meant that some characters could gather much faster than any machine. Dr. Zlo took it all in as he arrived, listening to the bustling noise of players and machinery as they worked.

"Alright, now where was that dropoff point again?" the villain said.

"Over there, boss," Cass said helpfully.

Dr. Zlo turned to look at a long building with stacks of boxes lined up next to it. The words "Resource Hill Post Office" sat prominently on a sign above a set of glass doors. Players and NPCs walked in and out of the building, sometimes taking the packages seated at the door inside.

"Ah, yes. Thank you, Cass," Dr. Zlo said.

Two thanks yous in one day, Cass was on a roll.

Dr. Zlo walked through the post office doors, making his way straight to the open receptionist.

"Welcome to the Post. How can I help?" the NPC woman said.

"I'm here to pick up packages under the name, Dr. Zlo," the villain said.

"One second, sir."

The receptionist started to type into the computer, bringing up Dr. Zlo's parcels. As she worked, another set of NPCs dashed through employee-only doors, depositing Dr. Zlo's various items next to him. Cass and Mabel watched them with focused eyes, making sure the NPCs didn't steal anything. Not that the workers would, but villains needed to be wary at all times.

"Alright, everything seems to be in order," the receptionist said. She tapped a button on her keyboard and printed out a list, which she promptly handed to Dr. Zlo. "Here is your itemized receipt. Make sure everything is accounted for before you leave. And remember, we are not responsible for any theft outside the building."

"Do you say that to everyone?" Dr. Zlo asked as he grabbed the paper.

"Oh yes, sir," the receptionist replied. "It's in the rules."

The NPC pointed over to a plaque hanging nearby, a set of rules printed on it. In bold letters were, "The Post Is Not Responsible For ANY Theft Outside The Building."

"Interesting," Dr. Zlo answered. "Come along, Cass. And keep your eyes peeled."

Once outside, Dylan brought up his messenger and sent a quick question to Dextra.

Superfan39526:

You the one responsible for the post office?

D.Black:

Neat, right?

I'm thinking of putting them in other places as a neutral party.

Turns out there's a lot of places deliveries won't go.

Superfan39526:

So is this Dextra Black's new evil scheme?

D.Black:

Possibly.

I've got a lot in the works.

By the way, you busy?

Superfan39526:

About to make my new minions then go steal a fusion reactor

Why?

D.Black:

No worries it's not a big deal.

Was going to see if you wanted to do something with Nikola, Shizuka, and I.

Superfan39526:

Probably need some me time for a bit

Recharge my batteries.

D.Black:

Cool. Just hit me up whenever you want to do something.

Superfan39526:

Will do.

Dylan closed his messenger and made his way over to a clearing on the hill. The man wasn't lying when he said he needed some time to recharge his batteries, but a bit of the reason was Shizuka as well. The woman's constant attitude around Dr. Zlo was grating sometimes, and Dylan didn't have the patience to deal with it yet. That wasn't to say Shizuka was someone like John, just that she was annoyingly overbearing. One of those personalities that didn't mesh well with Dylan's.

"This looks like a good spot," Dylan said as he crested the hill.

"Shouldn't we head back home before doing anything, hon?" Mabel asked. "The woman from the Post did warn us."

"A warning they give to all their customers, Mabel," Dr. Zlo explained. "Which means that it happened one time, and the victim complained. That's how these things work, you know."

"Unless it's more common than you think," Cass muttered. He wasn't enthused about the idea of new helpers under Dr. Zlo coming into being in such a dangerous place.

"It will be fine, Cass," Dr. Zlo commented. Truthfully, Dylan couldn't wait another second for his creations.

"First up, Quartet!" Dr. Zlo announced.

The villain placed all the materials needed for his minion on the ground, arranging it like a human just because he felt like it. Locking onto the items, Dylan activated Mad Science and watched as the materials jumped into the air. They started to spin, splitting into four small tornadoes before coming back together again. Light pulsed and a harmonious hum rang out through the trees, attracting the attention of nearby players. A few turned at the right moment to see Dr. Zlo's new minion appear in a flash of sound.

Quartet stood proud in his pinstripe suit and boating hat. A multicolored cane sat in his hands, and the minion leaned on it with an air of confidence that oozed charisma. A moment later, the minion glanced at Dr. Zlo and sauntered over.

"Well, you're supposed to be the boss?" Quartet said, slinging his cane over his shoulder like a club. "You don't look like much."

"Hmm, rather brash for a newly created minion," Dr. Zlo said. "Mabel?"

"You got it, hon," the minion said.

Quartet turned and raised a mocking eyebrow, "You think some old ba"

"That's enough out of you, dear," Mabel said. Quartet instantly shut up, his mouth snapping shut like a clam.

"MMM!" the minion protested.

"Now, calm down, dear," Mabel said as she walked up to him. "Or else Momma might make you do something you'll regret."

"Spoken like a true villain!" Dr. Zlo applauded. "Now, Quartet."

The minion looked over to Dr. Zlo.

"I don't mind confidence in my ranks. In fact, I encourage it. However, challenging the leader as soon as you're born? Why that's foolhardy and reckless."

"Not to mention not too bright," Cass added.

"Quite right," Dr. Zlo said. "Now, what's say we start over? Mabel, if you would release him."

"Alright, you can speak now, dear," Mabel said.

Quartet's mouth unhinged, letting the minion take a gasp of air.

"Okay, I get it!" the minion said. "You're the boss."

"I'm glad you understand," Dr. Zlo said. "Now, Quartet. You and Mabel are going to be my lieutenants in battle, directing the Jacques while I perform other tasks. Understood?"

"You mean I have to work with this old"

Mabel shot Quartet a look.

"Mature, woman," Quartet corrected.

"If you think you're meant for something else, prove your worth directing the Jacques," Dr. Zlo said.

"Fine," Quartet grumbled.

The newly created minion stepped back, walking over to the Jacques, who eagerly awaited him.

"Oh, shove off," Quartet said when one tried to welcome him.

The Jacques iced over like frost on a windshield, turning away in a huff after Quartet's rebuttal. Dr. Zlo ignored it, taking out the pieces for Saul instead.

The same process happened again, this time the tornado tinging gold as Saul appeared. The man landed on the grass, a relaxed look on his face that changed to one of greed once he saw Dr. Zlo.

"How's my greatest client!" the man said, sounding every inch a used car salesman. "Or should I say, how's my greatest bait?"

"Don't talk to boss like that," Cass argued.

Saul smirked at the butler, "Or what? You're going to mix me a drink?"

"Now, gentlemen," Dr. Zlo said. "Don't fight here. What would the onlookers think?"

Saul stopped to take a look around, noticing a few players that had crept closer during Dr. Zlo's creation spree.

"Well well," Saul said, his eyes glinting. "It looks like you're already bringing me some new clients."

"As long as you keep them off my back," Dr. Zlo said.

"Oh yeah, oh yeah," Saul said dismissively.

Dr. Zlo fired his monocle laser at the minion's foot, causing Saul to flinch back.

"Careful with that thing! You could take someone's eye out!" Saul protested.

"Terribly sorry," Dr. Zlo said. "But the monocle seems to get a bit fickle when someone isn't listening to what I say."

"Alright, sheesh," Saul said. "I'll keep them off your back. No need to get snippy about it."

"See that you do," Dr. Zlo said.

The villain turned back to the hillcrest, placing the pieces for his last minion on the ground while Saul made his way over to the onlookers.

"Hey, you guys!" Dr. Zlo heard the man say. "Any of you looking for an agent? Someone to spice up your marketing life?"

Sure enough, Saul's antics pushed some of the players away, giving Dylan a bit more space between him and the onlookers. The player smiled. It seemed like his idea was working.

Dr. Zlo activated his power and created the last of his new minions, watching eagerly as the tornado seemed to clean up the surrounding area. Brunhilde appeared a moment later, curtsying to Dr. Zlo.

"Herr Doktor, it iz an honor," Brunhilde said.

"Don't use doctor," Dr. Zlo said. "I'm not one to hide my name behind monikers."

"Understood, Herr Zlo," Brunhilde said.

Dylan admired his handiwork for a moment, taking in Saul's sleazy nature and Brunhilde's militaristic attitude. Both minions fit the description he had in mind when creating them.

Saul was as hairy as they came, except for his head, which had balded enough to show the minion's scalp. The minion had brushed the last tufts of hair over the bald spot in a useless attempt to cover the area along with copious amounts of hair gel to keep the pieces in place. A glint of gold shone every time Saul smiled, which the minion did whenever he could. More gold rested on his neck and wrist, in the shape of a chain and watch, respectively. Yes, Saul looked as sleazy as they came, the perfect agent for a criminal mastermind.

Brunhilde was as powerful as Saul was sleazy. Corded muscle rippled across the woman's arms and legs, giving the maid a bodybuilder's physique. However, Brunhilde moved with the grace of a ballerina, silently situating herself behind Dr. Zlo in case he needed something. Dylan noticed a scar right where a beauty mark would be under Brunhilde's eye and smirked. It looked like the AI had tried to combine a gun's deadliness with the grace of a court lady. Surprisingly the mixture worked.

"Alright," Dr. Zlo said. "The rest of my packages should arrive soon. Then we'll make our way back to Skyline and find that fusion reactor! I have a Zlomobile to build!"

Brunhilde and Cass clapped appreciatively.