Vaudevillain

Chapter 162: Expanding the Workforce

Dr. Zlo heard a scurrying below him after announcing his arrival, no doubt the Jacques getting into some business. Unperturbed, the villain kept up his walk, striding down the stairs with the grace of royalty. He arrived in a land of bubbling test tubes and dripping beakers.

"I see the lab is still in good condition," Dr. Zlo said, stepping inside.

"That's right, boss," Cass answered. "I made sure the Jacques weren't getting into too much trouble."

"Thank you, Cass," the villain answered.

Cass beamed at the praise.

Dr. Zlo walked into his lab, admiring his designs. Unlike Vert's headquarters, which gave an image of open friendliness, the lab sat damp and dusky. Soft green hues, the color of slime, painted a picture of villainous intent across the lab. Jacques roamed the room, their faceless features furrowed in concentration around their various projects. Dr. Zlo had left the minions each a small task to complete, something to keep them occupied during the downtime between crimes.

The sound of tapping glass caught the villain's attention. He looked over to the corner of his laboratory, finding a few of his Jacques standing around a clear pipe that ran from the ceiling to the floor. Inside, swimming around in blue liquid, were animals, a cross between eels and jellyfish. The Jacques surrounding the area tapped on the glass whenever an eel moved closer, sending the thing into a twisting frenzy of electric shocks.

"Jacques!" Dr. Zlo shouted. "Stop bothering the eels. Too much agitation will make them lose form. I can't have that happening yet."

"You still haven't said what you're going to use the eels for, hon," Mabel said.

"All in good time, Mabel," Dr. Zlo said.

He wasn't about to tell anyone that the eels were only around for ambiance. Although, it was entirely possible that the eels could be Dr. Zlo's deadly pet. Something for Dylan to think about after this next crime.

Focusing, Dr. Zlo walked past the eels, taking the group of Jacques around with him. The minions followed Dr. Zlo out of his lab and into a garage. Once they entered, the Jacques ran towards a set of tools resting on a workbench, grabbing the various wrenches and drills.

"Now, now," Dr. Zlo chided. "Don't get overeager yet. I haven't even explained the plan!"

The Jacques collectively smacked their foreheads, then walked back over to Dr. Zlo, power tools in hand.

"It's come to my attention that I'm in need of transport once again," the villain started. "However, instead of a slow, flying target, I'm thinking of riding in style. Yes, that's right! We're going to make, the Zlomobile!"

The Jacques around Dr. Zlo clapped politely.

"Of course, since this is my newest mode of transport, we can't have it be anything normal, can we?"

The Jacques shook their heads.

"Therefore!" Dr. Zlo thrust his cane toward the center of the garage, "We're going to try and do something different. I'm going to design pieces of this car, making sure each piece is powerful in its own right. Once finished, we'll make sure to put it together right here!"

The Jacques looked at the garage floor, silent as the grave.

Dr. Zlo cleared his throat, "Ahem."

The Jacques all jumped, then started to politely clap once more.

"Excellent," Dr. Zlo said. "Now, back to your tasks, I'll come get you once I need you."

The Jacques nodded, then scrambled back up the stairs.

"Boss, are you sure it's alright to leave them alone so often?" Cass asked. "I know you have me, but if I come with you on missions, then who'll watch the remaining Jacques?"

"Hmm, you may have a point, Cass," Dr. Zlo said.

The Jacques were definitely incompetent enough to get into trouble on their own. They needed some kind of overseer.

"Perhaps I should focus on increasing my workforce before creating my next masterpiece," Dr. Zlo said.

"What do you have in mind, boss?" Cass asked.

Dylan thought about it. He still needed to make Quartet, the minion specifically made to undermine him, and he wanted to make a public relations minion too. Someone who could manage all the publicity Dr. Zlo was getting. The third minion would need to be someone who could handle the secret base while Dr. Zlo was away.

Quartet was an easy design, considering Dylan already knew what he wanted from the minion. He pulled up Quartet's requirements, the page buried in his creation history. That was at least one thing Vert seemed to get right. A player could go back through their crafting power's design history and pull up previous creations. Now, if only there were a way for Dylan to save his favorite ideas.

A follower of Dr. Zlo who wants to take over the evil doctor's position but acts as a loyal minion to gain the villain's trust. Quartet can split himself into four men and harmonize with the others to produce sonic waves that harm those who hear it. He frequently argues with Cass.

Striped suit vest and trousers (1)

Lackey (1)

Boating hat (1)

Hello My Baby (1 recording)

Phlebotinium (2 g)

Dylan gave the description a quick once-over, noticing that the Phlebotinium requirement hadn't updated. However, that was an easy enough fix. Dylan ran the description back through his power, getting a revised version.

A follower of Dr. Zlo who wants to take over the evil doctor's position but acts as a loyal minion to gain the villain's trust. Quartet can split himself into four men and harmonize with the others to produce sonic waves that harm those who hear it. He frequently argues with Cass.

Striped Vest (1)

Striped Pants (1)

Boating Hat (1)

Cane (1)

Hello My Baby (1 Recording)

Tuning Fork (1)

Phlebotinum (2g), or Sciencium (200g)

The item requirements had changed a bit, but the overall idea was still there. Though, it was a lot of Sciencium. Dr. Zlo had barely accumulated over two hundred in the past weeks. Ten grams a day, some of which went into other projects, felt like a small amount considering everything Dylan wanted Dr. Zlo to do.

Oh well, it was worth it to have the extra workforce. Dylan ordered all the pieces he needed, setting the delivery at the resource drop point, and went on to imagine the rest of his new minions.

Next up was the agent, the man behind Dr. Zlo's public relations. Of course, the minion couldn't be an upstanding citizen. Villains needed villainous agents. Therefore, Dylan tried to think up the sleaziest character he could.

His mind immediately went to the characters in old television. Those characters with balding but slicked back hair, gold adorning their body like some ancient deity. Somehow, these types had too much hair on their body, arm and chest hair poking out from under their halfway-buttoned shirt. To top it all off, the man would have a single gold tooth that glinted every time he smiled.

The image was perfect. Dr. Zlo's new minion would look every bit the sleazy character looking to make a quick buck. He needed a name that fit the description, a full name. Carl sprang to mind, but Dylan dismissed the name. Carl felt too ordinary. However, the last name that came to Dylan fit perfectly. Goodman was the perfect name for a sleazy agent.

Dylan spent a few more minutes cycling through the names he knew before settling on Saul. Saul Goodman would be Dr. Zlo's agent. The man wouldn't have any powers, mostly to keep Sciencium costs down, but also because a super minion would tempt Dr. Zlo to take him on missions. And that wasn't going to be Saul's job.

Dr. Zlo typed the new minion into his power:

Dr. Zlo's agent for all things public, Saul Goodman, is the epitome of the get-rich-quick scheme. This hairy yet balding man is the first line of defense for Dr. Zlo when fans come calling. However, the minion never tries to use Dr. Zlo to get rich, instead choosing to try and swindle the man's various fans when they appear. The gold chain and watch with his matching gold tooth are an attempt to give Saul a winning personality, but it somehow only makes the man look sleazier.

Hair Cream (1)

Polo Shirt (1)

Knockoff Folex Watch (1)

Gold Chain (1)

Gilded Tooth (1)

Stuffed Wooly Mammoth (1)

Sciencium (5g)

Nodding in satisfaction, Dylan ordered what he needed for Saul and went to work on his last minion.

The last minion would stay in the base at all times, protecting it and managing the Jacques as they went about their day. That meant the character needed some inherent authority over the mansion, which limited Dr. Zlo's options. Dylan thought about making a giant computer minion but dismissed the idea. Having a smart house would be nice, but the trope for those always ended with the AI turning on the creator. Dr. Zlo didn't want that to play out.

Eventually, Dylan decided the last minion needed to be a servant, like Cass. However, Dr. Zlo already had one butler. That meant this new minion had to be a maid.

For a moment, Dylan was tempted to make the maid the stereotypical femme fatale character but decided against it. It didn't fit the goofy aesthetic Dylan wanted for Dr. Zlo, not unless Dr. Zlo acted like a buffoon in front of the maid. But Dylan never liked it when shows did that, mostly because he didn't find the idea funny.

Dylan cycled through the other maid tropes, not quite finding ones that stuck. He dismissed the competent yet can't cook trope since he didn't want to have to deal with the maid's possibly explosive cooking. He did the same for the generic robot maid and the maid corps, neither of which he wanted for Dr. Zlo. That seemed to leave him with something like a combat maid, which fit rather well once Dylan thought about it.

Of course, he couldn't make it the generic combat maid. This maid would look every inch like they were ready to fight, with powerful muscles and possibly a scar or two. Adding to it, Dylan decided to make the maid German, or possibly Scandanavian. He wasn't sure why, but the image kept getting stuck in his head. Dylan even thought of a name on the spot, Brunhilde.

Not wasting time, Dylan typed in the requirements for his new minion:

Created to be the caretaker for Dr. Zlo's mansion and lair, Brunhilde is, in fact, a competent fighter that keeps everything ship shape with her prowess. With her focus in combat, Brunhilde is decked out in solid muscles, and a scar marks her face despite its delicate features.

50 lb. Barbell (1)

Sig Sauer (1)

Maid Uniform (2)

Knife (1)

Sciencium (5g)