Universe Infinite Canteen

Chapter 30: 30 Number 6



Today, Ma Lu and Old Wang set out early and closed up shop by four in the afternoon.

Once home, Ma Lu headed straight for his Switch, but after picking up the controller, something felt off.

Wait, where's my TV?

Although Ma Lu had ordered a new TV, he hadn't disposed of the old one—that belonged to the landlord, after all. He planned to put it away somewhere once the new one arrived.

But now, with the new TV yet to arrive, the old one had already vanished, leaving the TV cabinet bare.

Robbed?!

Ma Lu shot Old Wang a look, then went to the kitchen to grab a kitchen knife. However, after searching throughout the house, they found no signs of an uninvited guest.

Moreover, all the doors and windows were intact, with no signs of having been tampered with by outsiders.

Yet, the TV had indeed disappeared.

Ma Lu's gaze finally landed on the old washing machine on the balcony. If there was something different about the rental today, it was the addition of this suspicious washing machine.

As implausible as it sounded, Ma Lu felt that of all things in the room, this washing machine was the most suspicious.

"Are there washing machines in the Multiverse that like to steal televisions?" he asked.

"Never heard of such a thing," Old Wang shook his head.

"Aren't you a silicon-based lifeform? It looks like a silicon-based lifeform, too. Can you talk to it? Maybe ask it?" Ma Lu suggested.

"You're a carbon-based lifeform, so is the cat living in the flowerbeds of the complex. Can you talk to it?" Old Wang retorted.

"Fair point. Then there's only one thing to do."

"What's that?"

"Take it apart." While saying this, Ma Lu started rummaging through his toolbox.

Although the washing machine on the balcony wasn't plugged in, the drum inside started moving upon hearing these words.

"I knew it," Ma Lu scoffed, "looks like we've found our thief."

As he advanced with a wrench in hand, Old Wang interjected, "Wait a minute, it seems to have something to say."

"Oh, so now you can suddenly understand what a washing machine says."

"No, the frequency with which it's rotating the drum seems like a kind of universal code used in the Multiverse."

Old Wang stood still and listened for a while, then turned to Ma Lu, "Your Collection Bag can be upgraded now."

"It's an Artisan?" Ma Lu exclaimed in surprise, "An Artisan is a washing machine?"

"No, it's just a creation by the Artisan. It can take the place of an Artisan's work to some extent. Artisans are a secretive bunch, rarely showing their true forms to others.

Old Wang paused, "But what we can be sure of is that there indeed lives an Artisan on this planet."

"So, you're saying you're not the first Otherworldly Traveler to arrive here?"

The world Ma Lu thought he was familiar with suddenly felt strange again.

Besides Old Wang and the Artisan, could there be other visitors from different universes on Earth? Among these people, could there be any bad guys?

But then Ma Lu thought, he wasn't a civil servant, just a guy who peddled snacks on a tricycle; it wasn't his place to worry about these matters.

"Ask it where it hid our television," Old Wang said.

"It says it already ate it," Ma Lu replied.

"What?"

"The Artisan received the signal from the Secret Key but won't show up in person, so it sent this thing instead. It claims that's the service fee."

"Disguising itself as a courier to sneak in, it devoured the TV while we were not home. Now that it's caught, it's using industry practice as an excuse, probably thinking we could never meet the mysterious Artisan anyway, so there's no way to verify the truth," Old Wang deduced.

Ma Lu fiddled with the wrench in his hand, "So it seems that the so-called service fee is probably just for its own taking, unrelated to the Artisan. Additionally, there's another possibility…"

"What possibility?"

"This thing might have nothing to do with the Artisan at all. It might have just intercepted the signal when you called for the Artisan or overheard our conversation that night. Then it disguised itself as one of the Artisan's creations to scam food and drink from us," Ma Lu theorized.

"I remember what you said, that our chances of encountering an Artisan were less than one in ten million trillion. Thinking about it now, its arrival seems even more suspicious. I think it might be better to dismantle it and study..."

Before Ma Lu could finish his sentence, the washing machine next to them started shaking violently as if it had entered the spin cycle.

"It says it can upgrade a piece of equipment for free as compensation for eating the TV," Old Wang translated.

"Deal," Ma Lu put away his wrench, his face breaking into a warm smile again.

He took out the Collection Bag and, as Old Wang instructed, placed it into the drum on the right side of the washing machine. He shut the lid, then turned the timer to 15 and heard the sound of water whooshing inside.

Afterward, the old washing machine that was neither connected to water nor electricity began to work as if it were a real washing machine.

When the timer knob turned back to the zero mark, the lid popped open automatically, and the Collection Bag was ejected.

Ma Lu wasn't sure if it was his imagination, but it seemed like the washing machine before him had deflated a bit in an instant, its rust spots more mottled as it slumped lifelessly in the corner.

"Is that it?" Ma Lu picked up the Collection Bag from the ground.

"I don't remember the last time I dealt with the Artisan," he said.

"Then ask it for me what the effects of the upgrade are, and also, what's up with this kidney-deficient look it's got going on now?" Old Wang said.

"I don't think it has kidneys," Old Wang corrected earnestly, "The significance of kidney organs to silicon-based life forms..."

"I know, I know, it's just an exaggerated metaphor," Ma Lu interrupted hastily.

The old TV was gone, and the new one hadn't been delivered, but at least the evening wouldn't be boring.

With Old Wang acting as the translator, Ma Lu and the washing machine on the balcony, which claimed to be Number 6, had a deep conversation.

Old Wang couldn't be sure if this thing qualified as a life form, but it clearly had self-awareness.

And its intelligence was not low, roughly equivalent to that of a Border Collie. It could understand human language but was unable to speak, relying instead on expressing itself through universal Morse code.

Even more astonishing was that Number 6 could move, using the traditional washing machine method of shifting its inner drum to create movement.

Although it was slow and noisy, that was how it ate the TV from the television cabinet and then clattered back to the balcony, pretending nothing had happened.

The reason it ate the TV was simple—hunger.

As a creation designed by the Artisan to slack off at work, Number 6 was endowed with two functions from birth: repair and upgrade, corresponding to its two drums.

However, utilizing these functions was not without cost. Just like Old Wang and the Bug Egg needed to recharge, Number 6 also needed to consume food to accumulate points for repairs and upgrades.

Moreover, what Number 6 consumed was not the television itself, but the "newness" value behind it.


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