To Kiss An Idol

139 The Grip

Nivritti scolded Kyung-Soo for not replying back to her. She informed him how vexing her day was. She kept worrying about Young-Chul the whole day and then she had to appear before the CEO. In anger, she stuck her tongue out but he ended up laughing at her cuteness.

“What? Why did you laugh?” she snapped.

“You have no idea how cute you are, do you?” he laughed.

“Excuse me!”

“Who sticks their tongue out after scolding someone?” smiled Kyung-Soo.

“Hey!” she shouted. “I am still angry.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he immediately apologised but could not stop laughing at her.

“Keep laughing. I am leaving,” she stood up. “Take good care of him,” she started to move away from Young-Chul but abruptly her legs stopped moving. “Huh…” an involuntary sound escaped her mouth.

“What?” asked Kyung-Soo.

.....

Without saying a single word, Nivritti just looked at her hand that was somehow stuck. Her eyes widened as she noticed that Young-Chul had grabbed her palm tightly in his hand stopping her from leaving.

Kyung-Soo saw her stopping suddenly and stared at her face. He too followed her hand and saw that Young-Chul had her hand gripped tightly in his.

“Is he…?” asked Nivritti shocked, not knowing how to complete her sentence.

“I don’t know. He is sedated,” replied Kyung-Soo.

“Then how is his grip so tight?” inquired Nivritti. “Do you think he… he heard everything?”

“Let me help you, you can leave,” suggested Kyung-Soo and moved forward to get her hand out of Young-Chul’s grip.

“No!” she shouted. “Let it be. He needs it.” She sweetly blinked at Kyung-Soo. After dragging her chair closer to Young-Chul, she too tightened her grip and sat next to him. “Rest assured, I am not going anywhere. Sleep well, MY.” She placed her other hand over his and caressed adoringly.

Kyung-Soo could not help himself, he smiled yet a drop of tear fell from his eyes. This girl who they met just weeks ago was so caring, so lovingly towards them. She had no business taking care of them yet she would go out of her way to do so.

Before Nivritti could see him, he wiped his tears and smilingly looked at Nivritti, “Ritti!”

“Hmm,” she looked at him.

“Thank you!” said Kyung-Soo with all the gratitude he could muster.

“What? What are you talking about? Why, thank you?” she was astonished at his expression.

“You didn’t have to come here and take care of him. You didn’t have to sit with him. You didn’t have to comfort him, but you are here. Thank you for that,” Kyung-Soo stood up and bowed down to her with all his heart.

“If he would have let my hands go, I would have really kicked your ass,” snapped Nivritti, angrily.

“What? What did I do?” complained Kyung-Soo.

“Is he not my friend? Am I not his friend? Do friends not care about each other? Ahh… seriously!! I came here…” growled Nivritti.

But Kyung-Soo interrupted her mid-sentence. “Sorry! Sorry about everything. Not informing you before, about him and now saying thank you being here for him. Wait! No one told you that he was here, then how did you find him?” Kyung-Soo scratched his head.

“That’s what I was about to tell you. I had an appointment in the psychiatric ward. I came here from my meeting,” replied Nivritti.

“What? The doctor was not about to tell anyone about Young,” shouted Kyung-Soo.

“Shhh…” she shushed him. “He is sleeping remember?”

“What sleeping? He has your hand in his grip as if his life depends on it,” he shouted. “When I cannot even touch you,” he thought to himself. Even though he liked that Nivritti was helping Young-Chul, he didn’t like the fact the Young-Chul was holding her hands in open when he was not allowed to do that.

“What nonsense!! NK? Are you jealous?” she asked.

“Why would I be jealous? You said nothing can happen between us. I stopped thinking about you after that,” said Kyung-Soo with his nose up in the air.

A faint gasp escaped from Nivritti’s mouth. “He stopped thinking about me?” she exhaled painfully. She felt as if someone gripped her heart and crushed it brutally. It was getting difficult for her to breathe. But then sudden realisation made her feel normal. “Maybe this is for the best. I was trying to get away from him. Finally, he threw me out of his heart. It’s a good thing we are just friends now,” she pondered.

Stealthily, Kyung-Soo glanced at her face with side-eyes. Although her face was extremely expressive, now all he could see was her slightly sad eyes deep in thought. He wanted to know what she was thinking about or who she was thinking about. Did she feel anything after he told her that he stopped pursuing her?

No one talked for about a minute. Kyung-Soo wanted her to fight with him, but she said nothing. His heart dropped. Maybe she really felt nothing for him. But he had so many feelings for her. He wanted to tell her everything.

Finally, Nivritti spoke, “by the way doctor told me nothing about MY. We never talked about him.”

“Then, how… how are you here?” asked Kyung-Soo, shocked.

“I had an important call to make to India but the reception in the lift was bad. This was the floor that the lift’s door opened on so I climbed out. And while talking I saw you. I had to find out if that was you or not,” replied Nivirtti.

“See, even fate wants us to be together. Why are you resisting?” he mumbled to himself.

“What?” asked Nivritti.

“What?” replied Kyung-Soo.

“You said something,” said Nivritti.

“I didn’t.”

“I saw your lips move,” she protested.

“You did not,” said Kyung-Soo firmly.

“But I did,” pouted Nivritti and stamped her foot on the floor. Kyung-Soo tucked his lips inside his mouth, trying hard not to smile or laugh, or else he would have gotten another scolding.

“So cute!” he contemplated and smiled in the back of his head. “Believe me, I said nothing. I was just thinking about… about… yeah, about Young,” he lied.

“Hmm,” she scoffed and turned back to look at Young-Chul. “By the way, why this secrecy?”

“What do you mean?” asked Kyung-Soo.

“Why not tell your fans that he is ill? You cancelled your daily variety show for two days in a row. And seeing that he is here, I don’t think you will do your daily show for days. So why not tell people that he is not well?” inquired Nivritti.

“You know why?” replied Kyung-Soo.

“Because this is a mental health issue and not a physical health issue?” asked Nivritti, condescendingly.

“You don’t have to be so judgemental. It’s easy for you to seek therapy. But if you are an idol, it is hard,” replied Kyung-Soo.

“You mean to say that I am no one, so it’s easy for me to seek help. And because you are basically music god, you don’t need any help?” snapped Nivritti at his irritating words.

“Ritti!” he dragged his chair closer to her. “You know what I mean,” said Kyung-Soo pleadingly.

“No, I don’t. Believe me, if he would let my hand go, I would storm out of this room, this very instant,” retorted Nivritti.

Kyung-Soo exhaled and calmly tried to make her understand. “I know how great you feel about therapy as it had helped you a great deal. But for us all, who live before the public eye 24×7, talking about our mental health is a heavy topic. I know some will be happy for us, they will stand behind us. But a lot of people will say that we are weak, hence seeking therapy. And if you get weak in this industry, you lose everything. Seeking therapy would become another scandal. No matter what happens, no matter how hard your schedule is, we can never complain.”

“Do you hear yourself? I have heard you are well-read, intelligent, smart, but now, you are talking like a moron,” said Nivritti.

“Excuse me!”

“What is wrong with appearing weak, NK? And why is seeking therapy, weak? You told me once that acknowledging that you need help, is the highest form of bravery or did you forget? Does that apply only to me? Or are you a hypocrite? If no one will start the conversation, then who will?” snapped Nivritti. “Wow! All those words from my mouth about mental health fell on deaf ears,” said Nivritti, disappointed.

“It’s not our decision but our company’s decision,” said Kyung-Soo with his head lowered.

“Tell me the truth, NK. If it would have been your decision, would you have told your fans? Don’t you want your fans to see the real you with all your talent, your skill, your achievements, your failures, your flaws? Do you really want to keep them in dark? Are you guys so scared of scandal that you are going to hide another fact from your fans, all your life? Don’t you trust your fans? At least give them a chance, maybe they will surprise you.”