The Villainess Proposed a Contractual Marriage

The moment I brought the prince into the orphanage, I focused on cooking with our meager ingredients while asking for his opinion.

"What would you like?"

"Anything will do. Yo."

"Then how about Poppy?"

"Have you lost your mind? Yo."

The prince's awkward formal speech confirmed that blue blood indeed flowed through his veins. As expected, he was undeniably a noble prince.

Even for something as trivial as choosing a fake name, he was on edge.

'Picking a nickname is serious business.'

He wouldn't be satisfied with just shortening his original name to two syllables.

"That sounds like a girl's name. Yo."

"Deokgu."

"I'll just choose my own name. Yo."

This brat had already mastered semi-formal speech, the art of winning women's hearts.

Meanwhile, his eyes resembled those of a salaryman on his third consecutive night of overtime.

His maturity, so unlike a child's, felt strange.

"Alright. Let's see how you do. I'll evaluate just how royal your naming sense is."

I naively expected the child to come up with something cute. Instead, the brat handed me a bitter taste of defeat.

"Nephelius Yulisian Ephenperk Eunice III."

"Why are kids these days so precocious?"

Such precociousness made me wonder if a 14-year-old's dark dragon was frolicking inside this mere 10-year-old boy's head.

The prince was far more Gen Z than I'd expected.

"Well, Yulisian isn't bad..."

But it reminded me of a cute Dalmatian, so I decided to tweak it a bit.

"Yulisian... Yulian... How about Yulian?"

The brat pondered my suggestion for a moment before nodding decisively.

"I suppose I must compromise. Yo."

"Alright. From now on, your name is Yulian."

"Hmm, Yulian it is."

And so, the prince's first nickname creation event concluded.

Now there was no turning back.

He wouldn't get another chance to change his name until the original story began.

"What should I call you?"

"My name is Harte, but... just call me Director."

"Understood, Director. Now bring out the food. Yo."

This world's male lead seemed to have quite the sarcastic way of speaking.

If I were one of those typical evil orphanage directors in romance fantasy novels, I would've spanked him good. But having left the Holy Knight Order to break the death flag, my patience was strong.

"Yo yo yo, just adding 'yo' at the end doesn't make you polite, you little brat."

"That's quite an insulting remark. Yo."

'This won't be easy...'

The orphanage director's authority had already hit rock bottom.

Yulian's royal authority versus the orphanage director's educational authority. A structure reminiscent of the Humiliation of Canossa[1], was forming in this small orphanage.

"..."

"..."

What else could I do?

As someone supported by a count, I had no choice but to yield. I wasn't the kind of despicable adult who'd stubbornly try to win against a 10-year-old kid.

I ladled a bowl full of bubbling meat stew and handed it to Yulian.

True to his noble heritage, Yulian dipped his spoon into the bowl without a word of thanks.

Still, I had high expectations.

Just like the cliché of a rich kid's pampered child experiencing culture shock from cup noodles, I thought Yulian's eyes would light up upon tasting the stew, awakening him to a new world.

How could I be so sure?

Well, this was K-meat stew. In other words, a new culinary invention known as kimchi jjigae(stew) with pork.

"Ah, I didn't want to show you this in a place like this."

Take a good look, I thought. Behold this masterpiece. Witness the years of experience of a seasoned bachelor.

"No, this taste is..."

Yulian froze like a statue for a moment. Then, slowly putting down his utensils, he said:

"Director. The soup is too salty."

"You've got to be kidding me..."

It was an unexpected mother-in-law-like nitpicking.

"The vegetables are so spicy they'd boil ice water. Yo."

If that were possible, I'd be rich from running turbines.

"The basics of cooking lie in following the recipe."

"As if I need that kind of advice from you!"

"Haah, adults who lack self-awareness are truly exhausting, yo."

Yulian shook his head disapprovingly while picking out only the meat to eat.

Faced with such noble picky eating, I felt dizzy. It was as if my entire life as a proud cook had been completely denied.

'My head's already spinning... Did I underestimate this? Can I really handle three of them?'

If I had to sum up my first impression of meeting Yulian in one word, it would be "challenging".

---

---

On a quiet morning, I was out with Yulian, exploring the peaceful downtown area.

Surprisingly, Yulian came along without much fuss.

Though he had no choice since I couldn't leave him alone, it seemed he genuinely enjoyed strolling through the city.

He never explicitly confessed this. But his wide eyes, taking in the unfamiliar scenery, couldn't lie.

Just as I was crossing to the opposite side of the street, a girl selling flowers brightened up and shouted.

"Ah, it's the annoying mister!"

"Not mister, but big brother."

"Someone who curses at my mom isn't a big brother."

Hearing this, Yulian's expression soured.

"The Director's morals and character must be incredibly devious. Yo."

"Not at all."

Meanwhile, the flower-selling girl seemed quite intrigued by Yulian's manner of speech.

"But why does he talk so weird?"

"It's because he doesn't have a mother."

Since Yulian's mother - the Second Queen - had already passed away, he had to use formal speech with me on this quiet street.

But the girl in front of us interpreted my words differently and shot me a look of contempt.

"Mister, you're really human trash. What do you do for a living?"

"I'm an orphanage director."

"Oh my god, an orphanage director who makes mom jokes? That's unbelievable! I'm going to file a complaint."

"Whoa, don't do that. Please stop."

It would be troublesome if a complaint reached the imperial family and Yulian's identity was exposed. More shocking was the fact that the term "mom joke" existed in this romance fantasy world.

I had learned this fact in the worst possible way.

"Hey, what's your name?"

"Yulian."

"Hi Yulian. I'm Flotia. Listen, if this mister ever mistreats you, tell me. I'll protect you at my house."

"I shall take that into consideration."

"I'm not kidding, okay? You really should. Here, this is a token of our promise!"

Flotia skillfully twisted the stems of small, delicate flowers from her basket, creating a cute flower ring.

Before he knew it, Yulian had extended his hand and ended up wearing a white flower ring on his left ring finger.

Seeing this adorable scene, I couldn't help but jeer.

"Ugh, how dirty."

"Hey! The flowers I sell are clean, you know?"

"Yeah, but the seller's heart is dirty."

"Stop talking so creepily when you're old! Right, Yulian?"

"Indeed. The Director's teeth have rotted due to age, hence his strange way of speaking. Pay it no mind."

"... I see Yulian really does have a unique way of speaking."

Finally realizing the cruel reality, Flotia's mind seemed to reel. As I looked at her triumphantly, Flotia pouted and retorted.

"Hmph, you're still a bad person no matter what!"

"Then shall I act like a bad person and spend lavishly?"

I took out a few silver coins and handed them to Flotia.

"I'll buy all the flowers in your basket."

"Mister, are you actually a good person?"

"You're just realizing that now?"

"Mom said you get to know people gradually."

Indeed, there's nothing money can't buy. Having successfully completed this meaningful big deal by trading my character, I smoothly presented my real objective.

"You don't have anything else to do now, right?"

"Nope."

"Then come along with us for a bit. Guide us to some interesting places. I'll buy you something delicious in return."

"Really?"

"If you call me big brother instead of mister."

"Okay, handsome big brother!"

Whoosh!

At that moment, Yulian suddenly turned his head away.

As if he had seen something he shouldn't have. What was he so displeased about? Honestly, I deliberately included Flotia, a child of his age, because our dynamic was awkward...

Kids these days hit puberty way too early.

Still, the silver lining was that the conversation between the two flowed smoothly.

"Yulian, where do you live?"

"At the orphanage at the end of 4th Street."

"Huh? Was there an orphanage there? Come to think of it, mis... I mean, big brother said he was an orphanage director, right?"

"A newbie orphanage director. It hasn't been open long, and Yulian is the only child there."

"Ah, I see. So I can come play anytime, right?"

"If Yulian allows it."

Nod.

As soon as I finished speaking, Yulian nodded quickly. So quickly it felt unnatural...

"Thanks, Yulian!"

Flotia added with a bright smile.

"That's a relief. You know the mountain path at the end of 7th Street, right? There've been some weird rumors about that place lately."

"Rumors? What kind of rumors?"

I hadn't paid much attention to street gossip, so this was news to me. Seeing how clueless I was, Flotia lowered her voice and whispered with a serious face.

"Actually... they say a vampire appeared there. Something with a small body was sucking the blood of animals? They say it was covered in blood so you couldn't see it clearly."

"Ah..."

Well... that description gives me quite the sense of déjà vu.

After pretending to think for a moment, I asked Yulian.

"Yulian."

"Yes."

"What do you think about increasing the orphanage's population by one more person?"

"What a strange question. Isn't that the very purpose of an orphanage's existence?"

"So you're saying it's not a problem."

...I asked, but I'm not sure if it really won't be a problem.

After all, the identity of this rumored vampire is probably... this world's one and only female protagonist.

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[1. Humiliation of Canossa refers to an event in 1077. Between the Holy Roman Emperor and the Pope.]