The Quest Is Simply To NTR All The Heroes

He sped toward the pack of dogs huddled near the library, the scent of fear—and piss—hitting him like a truck.

'Goddamn it.'

He thought, nose wrinkling as he navigated the trembling mutts.

'Some of these bastards pissed themselves! What, did they think I was gonna shove a spear up their ass?'

Of course, when your ass is on the line, and you've got some crazy human running around the battlefield like a lunatic, laughing like a supervillain and leaving a trail of dead bodies behind him, it's no wonder the dogs practically shit themselves.

If Kaisen weren't so focused, he might've taken a moment to admire the sheer amount of chaos he'd caused.

But hey, there was no time for an ego trip—he had work to do.

Walking up to the towering library, Kaisen crouched down, eyeing the wooden structure with a bit of awe.

'Wait a damn second… this whole thing is wood?'

He hadn't even noticed before, but now that he had a good look, it was like the entire building was one giant piece of lumber. No nails, no screws, no shoddy craftsmanship anywhere.

It was just… smooth. Like the designer was some kind of architectural wizard who skipped the manual and went straight to 'tree magic.'

'Man, whoever put this together really deserves a medal—or at least a drink.'

He couldn't see any gaps, seams, or anything holding this beast of a building together. It was like the damn thing grew out of the ground by itself. Too bad he was about to tear the whole thing down.

Without wasting any time, Kaisen jammed his fingers into the wood at the base. Of course, because nothing in this village was simple, the wood was reinforced with magic.

'Of course,' he thought, gritting his teeth.

'Why can't anything be easy around here?'

He strained a little, his fingers finally punching through the enchanted wood, giving him an anchor point to work with.

Kaisen's muscles bulged as he strained harder, feeling the wood giving way beneath his grip.

As the creaking turned into full-blown cracking, something caught his eye—a tangle of thick roots buried into the ground, connecting the wood to the earth.

'Roots? What the actual fuck... wait a minute!'

His eyes widened as the realization smacked him in the face.

'This whole damn thing is one big-ass tree?!'

Kaisen could hardly believe it, but there it was—clear as day.

This wasn't just some fancy wooden structure held together by nails and magic; it was a giant, ancient tree that someone had the balls to carve into a fucking library.

'Holy shit. Somebody went full-on tree-hugger and made this a shrine to woodcraft.'

He shook his head, half impressed, half annoyed.

'And now I gotta save this tree by wrecking it first... irony's a bitch.'

With a grunt, he poured more strength into his hands. For the first time in a long time, Kaisen actually felt his muscles hitting some kind of limit.

Not that he was exhausted or anything—no, his stamina was just fine—but physically pulling apart the roots of this magical, ancient tree was a different kind of challenge.

'Damn, if I use my mana, this thing would crack like a toothpick.'

But no, this was a warm-up. A fun little foreplay with the universe before things got real.

The roots groaned like a bad one-night stand, creaking louder and louder until—SNAP—they finally gave way, ripping out of the ground with a final groan.

"Aaaand there we go!"

He said with a wicked grin, his body buzzing from the exertion.

The dogs were losing their shit, their eyes wide and tails tucked as the very ground beneath them trembled. They had no idea what the hell was going on.

The tree—the fucking library—was moving, groaning like a drunk giant trying to find its balance after too many rounds of whiskey.

Kaisen gave the roots one final, savage yank, and with a loud, earth-shaking crack, the whole damn thing started to fall.

He didn't stick around for the encore. In a flash, Kaisen was right in the middle of the brawl between the cats and dogs, who were too busy tearing into each other to notice the fucking building that was about to come crashing down on them.

Kaisen's stealth skill was still active, making him the invisible puppet master in this chaotic opera of violence.

For just a moment, Kaisen paused to admire his work. The sheer absurdity of what he'd just pulled off.

He had literally toppled a giant tree, set to flatten an entire battlefield, all while these dumbasses were too caught up clawing and biting at each other to realize their impending doom.

'This… this is art.'

He thought smugly, feeling a sense of divine satisfaction.

Somewhere, in some bougie art gallery, someone had probably once told him that contemporary art is about the process of creation, not the final product.

And damn, if Kaisen didn't feel like a maestro right now, conducting his very own destructive masterpiece.

'Is this what it feels like to be Picasso?'

He mused, casually sidestepping a flailing dog while the shadow of the collapsing building loomed overhead, swallowing the battlefield in darkness.

Kaisen had to fight the grin threatening to split his face as he adjusted his voice into a comically high-pitched squeak and yelled out,

"Oh my god! The library! Those dumbass dogs toppled the damn library! It's coming to crush us all!"

The battlefield screeched to a halt as if someone had just yanked the emergency brake on reality.

Dogs, mid-snarl, and cats, mid-swipe, all froze, their jaws dropping in unison as they slowly turned to see the massive wooden beast of a building, in all its tree-carved glory, falling towards them like nature's most pissed-off wrecking ball.

Their eyes went wide, and for a moment, every single one of them had the same thought: We're so fucked.

"Who's gonna save us?!"

Kaisen's squeaky voice rang out again, adding that perfect touch of melodrama to the moment.

The fighters, now paralyzed with fear, didn't even bother questioning where the disembodied voice was coming from—they were too busy pissing themselves in terror.

Then, right on cue, as if scripted for some over-the-top action flick, Kaisen launched himself from the remnants of the hut he'd previously crashed into.

He soared through the air, cape—or rather, his silk cloth that was draped on his legs like a pant—flapping dramatically behind him as he struck the most absurdly heroic pose mid-flight.

"Don't worry, because I'M HERE!"

He bellowed, pounding his chest like some goddamn superhero straight out of a comic book.