The Main Characters That Only I Know

Chapter 131:

Chapter 131

The place that Yu-hyun and Kwon Jia entered was a small pub with a few people and a cozy atmosphere.

It was natural for them to come here, but Yu-hyun felt a bit at a loss when he tried to order the menu.

‘I have to try the drinks they sell in this kind of place.’

To be precise, he had never tried soju or beer. 

He only had wine in his mouth after he returned. 

In his previous life, he was underage and couldn’t drink, and when he just became an adult, the end of the world opened and he had no chance to drink.

Who would drink alcohol in a world where you die if you get drunk?

Yu-hyun was going to ask Kwon Jia if she knew anything, but she didn’t know either.

Kwon Jia lived a frugal life that resembled a monk or a nun as a returnee. 

Rather than suppressing her desires, she was only focused on strengthening her direction.

In the end, both Yu-hyun and Kwon Jia were in a fresh (?) state of drinking for the first time.

“One bottle of soju and two bottles of beer, please.”

Yu-hyun eventually ordered the most common menu. 

It was the result of barely recalling the memories of his past when he vaguely thought, ‘I should drink like this when I grow up.’

Kwon Jia looked at Yu-hyun’s natural ordering and quietly admired him.

He even orders drinks smoothly. 

As expected, Yu-hyun can do anything.

Of course, it was a misunderstanding.

“What would you like for your side dish?”

“Just something simple.”

“Then I’ll do something like squid for you.”

The side dish took some time, but the drinks did not. 

A cold bottle of alcohol from the refrigerator was placed between the two.

“Let’s drink.”

“Okay.”

They had never drunk alcohol before, but they still had some know-how in life, so they didn’t hesitate or delay.

The first one was a light beer.

“Cheers.”

“…”

They clinked their glasses. 

The golden beer was like drinking a fizzy drink with white foam. 

The faint bitterness of alcohol on the tip of their tongues told them that this was still alcohol.

“It’s not bad.”

“Hmm. Yeah.”

Kwon Jia nodded briefly and answered. The conversation ended there.

They repeated drinking their glasses while looking at each other several times. 

A subtle atmosphere continued. 

As soon as they spoke first, it felt like something would explode.

In the end, Yu-hyun was the first to break the silence.

“Since we’re here, let me ask you a serious question.”

“What is it?”

“I’m curious about something. Since you know a lot, I wonder if you know this too.”

Yu-hyun opened his mouth while thinking about the recent events that happened to him.

“A lot of things happened to me recently. A random other teller picked a fight with me, collectors targeted us, and small incidents happened everywhere we went. But no matter how I think about it, these incidents are strange.”

It wasn’t that the incidents themselves were strange. 

The important thing was why these things happened out of nowhere. 

He didn’t think much at first, but looking back, it wasn’t one or two things that were strange.

He was just going straight ahead, but the road itself branched out to the outside and brought outside things inside.

“I’ve had that too. No, quite a lot.”

Kwon Jia also nodded her head deeply as she agreed with Yu-hyun’s words. 

She had the same experience as Yu-hyun. 

Since she became a returnee, she had similar things happen every time. 

Someone picked a fight with her for no reason, ignored her even though she proved her skills, or had strange incidents happen every time she went to another world.

Another common denominator was completed between them in this place.

“Do you know anything?”

“No. Unfortunately, I can’t be sure either.”

Kwon Jia gulped down her beer and continued.

“But there is one thing I suspect.”

“What is it?”

“It’s that this world makes it flow like that.”

“That’s… hmm, a bit of an unusual idea.”

“I know how weird it looks. But I can’t explain it any other way. It’s just that this damn world won’t let me go.”

“The world won’t let you go…”

“That’s all I know. Actually, it’s too much to say I know, it’s nothing more than a wild guess based on a simple feeling. Well, in the end, it’s a story that won’t have an answer even if we talk about it here.”

“…I see.”

Kwon Jia only said that much, but Yu-hyun felt like he caught a very faint clue from her words.

‘If the world really has such a structure, and if it only comes to those who have something very special like her or me.’

It was like the world was constantly giving trials to someone special.

Yu-hyun recalled the golden light he saw before he died.

The unidentified light led Yu-hyun’s return and gave him the ability to read other people’s books.

‘Then is this power to read books and returning related to the incidents that are happening now? Then what was that golden light?’

He had no idea how to find out. 

He wanted to ask Kwon Jia, but he felt like this was too much, so Yu-hyun kept his mouth shut. Kwon Jia just drank silently.

Gulp. Gulp.

Especially Kwon Jia, who was not used to this atmosphere, focused only on drinking.

Didn’t they say that a late learner thief doesn’t know the day? 

She didn’t pace herself at all for her first drink.

Before long, two bottles of beer and one bottle of soju were gone. 

She looked at the empty bottles with slightly relaxed eyes and moved her gaze to Yu-hyun.

“Alcohol…”

“Do you want more?”

Nod nod.

Her condition was a bit strange, but Yu-hyun did as she asked. 

Two more bottles of soju and three more bottles of beer came out. 

As soon as the alcohol was added, Kwon Jia started drinking right away.

It was clearly over pace.

No matter how much Kwon Jia was a collector, Yu-hyun couldn’t help but worry if she drank this much. 

He ordered more alcohol in a flash. 

Yu-hyun ordered two more bottles of soju and three more bottles of beer.

“Kwon Jia. Slow down a bit. The side dish hasn’t even come out yet.”

“You…”

“Yes?”

“You’re always strange no matter how many times I see you.”

Kwon Jia’s words were sudden and without context. 

It was evidence that she was drunk.

She could say the words that she had kept in her heart without hesitation. 

It was the moment when she could be the most honest.

“Why didn’t you break down?”

“…”

What Kwon Jia was most curious about was Yu-hyun’s appearance. 

Why didn’t you break down? 

It was an extension of the conversation they had at the rice soup restaurant during the day.

Yu-hyun looked around and quickly carved a small mark on the corner of the table. 

This prevented their conversation from leaking out to others.

“Kwon Jia.”

“I’ve been repeating a life that I don’t know how many times. Over and over. Over and over and over and over and over. I repeated it. I’m sure I’m a broken person.”

Her usual confident tone was also dulling. Was it because she was drunk, or because the trait of [Returnee] was gradually losing its effect?

Was it a drunken truth?

When the mask of returnee was peeled off, what appeared was a wounded person.

“I envy you. You seemed broken, but you weren’t. You act like everything is real. Why? Didn’t you see and experience that terrible future? Why are you so fine? Is it because you lack cycles? Is it because of the number?”

That was what Kwon Jia

The place that Yu-hyun and Kwon Jia entered was a small pub with a few people and a cozy atmosphere.

It was natural for them to come here, but Yu-hyun felt a bit lost when it came to ordering the menu.

‘I have to try the drinks they sell in this kind of place to know.’

To be precise, he had never tried soju or beer before. 

After he returned, wine was the only thing he had tasted.

In his previous life, he was underage and couldn’t drink alcohol. 

When he just became an adult, the apocalypse broke out and he had no chance to drink.

Who would drink alcohol in a world where you could die if you got drunk?

Yu-hyun wanted to ask Kwon Jia if she knew anything, but she was in the same boat as him.

Kwon Jia had lived a frugal life as a returnee, resembling a monk or a nun. It was not so much that she suppressed her desires, but rather that she was only focused on that direction.

In the end, both Yu-hyun and Kwon Jia were novices (?) when it came to alcohol.

“One bottle of soju and two bottles of beer, please.”

Yu-hyun eventually ordered the most common menu.

It was the result of barely recalling his vague memories of thinking ‘I should drink like this when I grow up someday’ in his past.

Kwon Jia looked at Yu-hyun’s natural ordering and quietly admired him in her mind.

He even orders drinks smoothly. 

As expected, Yu-hyun can do anything.

Of course, it was a misunderstanding.

“What would you like for your side dish?”

“Just something simple.”

“Then I’ll get you something like squid.”

It took some time for the side dish to come out, but not for the drinks. Cold bottles of alcohol were placed between the two.

“Let’s drink.”

“Yeah.”

They had no experience with alcohol, but they still had some know-how in life, so they didn’t hesitate or delay.

They started with beer lightly.

“Cheers.”

“…”

They clinked their glasses. 

The golden beer felt like drinking a fizzy drink with white foam on top. 

The faint bitterness of alcohol on the tip of their tongues told them that this was still alcohol.

“It’s not bad.”

“Hmm. Yeah.”

Kwon Jia nodded her head and answered briefly. 

The conversation ended there.

They repeated drinking their glasses while looking at each other several times. 

A subtle atmosphere continued. 

They felt like something would explode if they spoke first.

In the end, it was Yu-hyun who broke the silence.

“Since we’re here, let me ask you a serious question.”

“What is it?”

“I’m curious about something. Since you know a lot of things, I wonder if you might know this too.”

Yu-hyun opened his mouth while thinking about the recent events that happened to him.

“A lot of things happened to me recently. A random other teller picked a fight with me, collectors targeted us, small incidents happened everywhere we went. But no matter how I think about it, these events are strange.”

It wasn’t that the events themselves were strange. 

The important thing was why these things happened out of nowhere. He didn’t think much at first, but looking back, it wasn’t one or two things that were odd.

He was just going straight ahead, but it felt like the road itself branched out and brought outside things inside.

“I’ve had that too. No, quite a lot.”

Kwon Jia also agreed with Yu-hyun’s words deep in her heart. 

She had experienced the same thing as him. 

Ever since she became a returnee, similar things happened every time. 

Someone picked a fight with her for no reason, ignored her skills, or strange incidents happened every time she went to another world.

Another common denominator was completed between the two in this place.

“Do you know anything?”

“No. Unfortunately, I can’t be sure either.”

Kwon Jia gulped down her beer and continued.

“But there is one thing I suspect.”

“What is it?”

“It’s that this world makes it go that way.”

“That’s… hmm, a bit of an unusual idea.”

“I know how weird it sounds. But I can’t explain it any other way. It’s just that this damn world won’t leave me alone.”

“The world won’t leave you alone…”

“That’s all I know. Well, it’s not even knowing, it’s just a wild guess based on a simple feeling. Anyway, it’s a story that won’t have an answer even if we talk about it here.”

“…I see.”

Kwon Jia only said that much, but Yu-hyun felt like he had caught a very faint clue.

‘If the world really has such a structure, and if it only comes to those who have something very special like her or me.’

It seemed like the world was constantly giving trials to someone special.

Yu-hyun recalled the golden light he saw before he died.

The unidentified light had led Yu-hyun’s return and gave him the ability to read other people’s books.

‘Could it be that the power to see this book and the regression are related to the current event? Then what was that golden light?’

There was no way to know that. I wanted to ask Kwon Jia, but I decided not to. It seemed too much. Kwon Jia just drank silently.

Gulp. Gulp.

Especially Kwon Jia, who was not used to this atmosphere, focused only on drinking.

Didn’t they say that a late learner thief doesn’t know when to stop? 

For her first time drinking, Kwon Jia didn’t pace herself at all.

Before long, two bottles of beer and one bottle of soju were gone. 

She looked at the empty bottles with slightly relaxed eyes, then moved her gaze to me.

“Alcohol…”

“Do you want more?”

Nod nod.

She looked a bit strange, but I did as she asked. 

Two more bottles of soju and three more bottles of beer came out. 

Kwon Jia started drinking as soon as the alcohol arrived.

It was clearly over pace.

No matter how much Kwon Jia was a collector, I couldn’t help but worry if she drank like this. 

The ordered alcohol was gone in an instant. 

I ordered two more bottles of soju and three more bottles of beer.

“Jia, slow down a bit. The food hasn’t even come out yet.”

“You…”

“Yes?”

“You’re weird no matter how many times I see you.”

Kwon Jia’s words were sudden and without context. 

It was proof that she was drunk.

It meant that she could say what she had kept in her heart without hesitation. 

It was the moment when she could be the most honest.

“Why didn’t you break down?”

“…”

What Kwon Jia was most curious about was my appearance. 

How come you didn’t break down? 

It was a continuation of the conversation we had at the rice soup restaurant during the day.

I glanced around and quickly carved a small mark on the corner of the table. 

This way, our conversation wouldn’t leak out to others.

“Jia.”

“I’ve been repeating a life that I don’t know how many times. Over and over. Over and over and over and over and over. I repeated it. I’m sure I’m a broken person.”

Even her confident tone of voice seemed to fade away. Was it because she was drunk, or because her [regressor] trait was losing its effect?

Was it a drunken truth?

What appeared when the mask of a regressor came off was a wounded person.

“I envy you. You seemed broken, but you weren’t. You act like everything is real. Why? Didn’t you see and experience that horrible future? Why are you so fine? Is it because you lack cycles? Is it the number of times?”

That was what Kwon Jia had kept in her heart and didn’t say.

She was jealous of me. 

Unlike her, who was already broken and couldn’t go back to normal, I wasn’t like that.

I felt awkward at Kwon Jia’s appearance. Collectors have excellent physical abilities. 

That meant they also had high metabolism rates. 

They wouldn’t get drunk easily even if they drank a lot.

But Kwon Jia did get drunk. 

I realized a new fact about her.

Kwon Jia, she was very weak to alcohol. 

Even though she became a collector, she got drunk easily.

“This is really…”

While I was wondering what to do, Kwon Jia’s drunkenness continued.

“Answer me. Why are you fine? Why are you fine?”

“I guess I didn’t have enough cycles.”

“No. That’s not it. You’re different somehow. Even if you repeated like me, you must have been different from me.”

“Of course I was different. I’m not you.”

“I…”

Kwon Jia bit her lips and leaned her head on the table as if collapsing.

 For a moment, I worried that she had passed out, but fortunately, that wasn’t the case.

“…I really envy you.”

A very small but clear voice.

It was the truth that Kwon Jia barely said with the help of alcohol.

“Your conviction, your eyes that can do something firmly. I envy them so much. Because I can’t do that.”

“…”

“If only this ability wasn’t mine but yours… Maybe this world would…”

“Jia.”

I stopped her words with a heavy voice.

Kwon Jia’s eyes, which were facing down, peeked up at me. 

Her half-opened eyes captured my face.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t have made it this far.”

“…Liar.”

“It’s not a lie.”

“No. It must be a lie.”

Kwon Jia’s current appearance, which had lost even her regressor tone of voice, suited her age perfectly.

I took a sip of beer and said:

“I appreciate that you think so highly of me, Jia, but I’m not that great. I’m also anxious.”

“You’re… anxious?”

“Yes, I’m anxious. How can I not be? Look at what we’re doing, Jia. We have to change the world. Not just a simple revolution. We have to change the people, the Earth, and even the Tellers and the Spirits. There are so many mountains we have to climb. How do you think that makes me feel?”

“Uh… I don’t know.”

“It’s overwhelming. Yes, very overwhelming. When I try to do something, I wonder how I should do it. That’s the only thought that comes to my mind.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Yu-hyun thought he had walked a splendid path, but compared to the path ahead of him, the path he had walked was nothing but a starting point. 

The path he had to take was long and hard, and sometimes he might not even know which way to go.

It felt like he was suffocating just by looking at it. 

How much pain would he have to endure to get there? 

How long would it take?

It would be easier for his body if he gave up. But his heart couldn’t do that.

“I just keep going anyway.”

“Why? What’s the point?”

“There is no point. I just go anyway.”

What Yu-hyun was doing was no different from a fish that escaped from a fish farm and swam against the rapids.

Unlike the fish farm where he only had to eat the given feed and grow fat, the river was a very dangerous place.

There were predators, and if he let his guard down for a moment, he would be swept away by the rapids.

He couldn’t rest for a second, and even if he kept going, he didn’t know when he would reach his destination.

But he couldn’t stop.

“The meaning is something we can create later. For now, we just have to keep going. Without looking back, until the end. Even if we don’t know where that end will lead us, we can’t stop.”

Why do people climb mountains? 

Why did they make airplanes and fly to the sky? 

Why did they go to space?

Just because they were there.

The mountains, the sky, the space.

The future that he didn’t know yet.

“I’m not going on because I’m not afraid. I’m going on because I’m afraid.”

“Why?”

“Because I have to. And so do you, Jia.”

Yu-hyun raised his finger and pointed at Kwon Jia. 

She didn’t know it well, but Yu-hyun knew it. 

He saw what she showed him when her worldview collapsed.

It was a very brave and beautiful sight that he couldn’t possibly have.

“I saw that in you too, Jia.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Fine then.”

Kwon Jia’s face turned red with embarrassment, and she avoided Yu-hyun’s gaze.

The food came out soon. 

Kwon Jia chewed on a chewy squid leg a few times, then spat it out with a ptooey.

“Ew. It’s gross. Alcohol is the best~.”

She filled her empty glass with alcohol again and drank it coolly. 

Yu-hyun shook his head at her sight. She’s definitely going to have a bad hangover tomorrow.

But fortunately, Kwon Jia didn’t act spoiled or clingy to Yu-hyun like before. 

Even though she was drunk, she felt something from Yu-hyun’s words.

‘Now there is no meaning. But meaning is something we can create later, is that it?’

Kwon Jia had always been looking for meaning in her regression. 

She couldn’t accept her repeated failures.

She wanted to give meaning to her failures. 

That her life wasn’t wrong. 

That even though she failed, there was meaning in it. 

Even if it was just self-justification made by her weakened mind.

But she couldn’t stop even though she knew it. 

The act of consolation that she had tasted once was too sweet.

She didn’t know that it would dilute even her original purpose.

So she was desperate too late.

To find something that was most precious to her, something that she had forgotten.

So she fought like a beast, repeating and repeating her life.

That’s how she met Yu-hyun.

“…”

She stared at Yu-hyun with unfocused eyes. 

Maybe she felt more comfortable now, looking at his face as he drank his alcohol with appreciation.

His gentle eyes, his straight nose, and his refreshing impression that added to them. 

He looked kind when he smiled, but sharp when he was serious.

Why did he do that? What was lacking in him? What did he want more?

‘I don’t get it.’

Kwon Jia thought Yu-hyun was perfect. 

He was so amazing that she thought he knew everything. 

Yu-hyun himself said he wasn’t that great, but Kwon Jia had a hard time accepting that he had a time when he was lacking.

‘I want to see… something.’

What kind of past did he have? And what is he looking at now?

I wanted to know.

The regressor, who had always been indifferent to others, began to feel interested in someone other than himself for the first time.

“Hey…”

“Yes?”

“You… I have something… I really want to ask you…”

As Kwon Jia tried to say ‘something’, she felt her mind drifting away.

Her head was spinning and her eyes were heavy. 

The world was spinning. 

She stopped trying to say anything and buried her head on the table.

Thud.

“Ouch.”

Yu-hyun, who saw her like that, let out a word without realizing it.

She was so drunk that she couldn’t even act like a drunkard. She passed out. He felt a headache from seeing such an unregressor-like behavior.

“I’ll pay here.”

Yu-hyun carried Kwon Jia on his back and left the store. 

Her limp body clung to his back. 

He felt the warmth from behind and sighed as he walked through the downtown.

‘If I knew this would happen, I should have drunk somewhere closer to the office.’

It was too far to go back to the office anyway. 

He thought he should catch a taxi as soon as possible, when he suddenly got a signal from Kwon Jia.

“Wait, just a moment…”

“Miss Jia?”

“My, stomach…”

“What? Wait, hold on.”

Yu-hyun felt a sudden anxiety running down his spine. 

It couldn’t be that, could it? 

Please, no.

His prayer was shattered in an instant.

“Blegh!”

“Ack! Hang in there!”

“I, can’t…”

“I know, but please!”

Yu-hyun tried to find a restroom urgently, but there was no such place nearby.

In the end, he ran into the nearest building with Kwon Jia on his back.

It was an unmanned motel.