The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound

Chapter 2222

The Colonel went first, offering Devick a weirdly stiff bow, before moving into the orange light and becoming a constellation. His, in Devick’s completely unbiased opinion, resembled a poo swirled around like a snake.

A dog could shit out a shape like that and hang its head in shame.

“You know not your luck in catching his eye,” The oversized golden-shelled bastard snorted and crossed his arms once the blue-haired Colonel had vanished into the orange light. “We have seen his image, known how it will grow. One day, Matteo will be a name known throughout the Aetherlands. A pillar of our society. Even as a secondary mate, you… lack appeal. And your flashy mane will aggravate the digestion of more mannered company. I cannot fathom why he lusts after your soft body.”

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has grown to Level 199!

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has grown to Level 200!

Even through the constant burn of her new Spiteflame Heart, Devick couldn’t help but look up and frown at the Turtleline’s words. An even more odious and emotional-extinction-event-level realization percolated in her bubbling guts. “...secondary… mate…?”

“Hah, obviously. Although that boy may be foolish, he is not entirely without wisdom. He has already whelped a child with his true wife, vetted and approved by his family.” The Turteline snorted and gazed back toward the shifting orange light. He seemed to measure what he witnessed there. “You may- wait, actually…”

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has grown to Level 201!

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has grown to Level 202!

…

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has grown to Level 219!

…

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has grown to Level 245!

Devick seemed less flesh and more strong emotions rebounding against each other, creating a violent storm inside her body. She couldn’t even move, so dedicated was her every available resource to trying to understand. Devick processed for several seconds the fact that the stuttering, awkward, obscenely boring, pestering Colonel had been pursuing her… all the while having a wife back home. His particular phrasing echoed in her head. A wife of mine.

One of perhaps many.

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has grown to Level 260!

If he had been in front of her right now, she would have latched onto his nose and pulled, hoping the flesh and skin of his face would tear clean off.

The pain was almost a relief, a distraction from how abhorrent the Colonel had become in her eyes. And sure, Devick had stated she would plan the murder of the Colonel, wishing she could do the deed but mostly joking, aware of the consequences should she be caught or found out. However, in light of recent developments, Devick no longer cared about consequences. She would rend open his body and grind his bones down to dust.

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has grown to Level 275!

My condolences to the children, who will grow up without a father. Devick didn’t react as the two guards stepped to her with appraising expressions. She still remained in coping mode. Such a loss will be tragic, but possessing a cesspool for a parental figure will be even more damning for your future.

I have no doubt such children will grow up to be attracted to stunted, lying manboys, just like their father.

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has grown to Level 285!

Almost belatedly, Devick realized the positional shift of the guards was clearly to restrict her movements. She wondered if she truly had begun to leak out flames as her emotions became a white blade of hate dragging its tip across her ribs. Yet very quickly, another source became evident. Two Turtleline guards hurried forward along the queue, bringing with them a bearded figure with stormy eyes.

“Apologies for the slight, but a very honored guest has just arrived,” The golden-shelled Turtleline smirked like a child that had pilfered a mint, while he believed you hadn’t been looking. He opened his dry hands palms up, as though he had searched for a solution and found nothing. “You will need to step aside and allow them to proceed first.”

Devick stepped to the side, barely even caring. Her soul was aflame, pain and excitement as she resolved to slaughter the Colonel. Obviously, the dream would be to complete the act as she had heard Nether King Hungry Eye had strolled into Homewell and done to Undersecretary Swacc, but Devick admitted to operating under some inferior conditions. To achieve her goal, she would plot and plan.

A strange, sparsely consulted part of Devick cheered. Sure, this was another in a list of fixations, but this would be a long-term, considering project. One that would require displays of discretion and maturity.

The sort of traits a peer of a powerful individual would need to possess. Her patience trembled but held.

When it became clear she wouldn’t raise a fuss, the Turtleline stepped forward to warmly welcome the stranger, Devick entirely forgotten. “You are the one they call the Master, yes? Please, right this way. It is a great honor for such a master of patterns to arrive in Homewell. We have great hopes that you will be inspired when you experience the wonder of the lifeseal for yourself…”

Weirdly, Devick found her eyes snapping upward as the bearded figure strode past. He didn’t even glance in her direction, but there was something… magnetic about him. Like her gaze was always meant to land upon him. His arrogant tilt of the head seemed to solicit admiration. In a way very different than the pull Devick had felt toward Nether King Hungry Eye, something about this man demanded attention. Her body responded, even while her mind and emotions recoiled.

That more considered part of Devick sighed as her patience snapped from the strange nudge. Whatever image this stranger brought, she was not in the mood.

“Don’t you…” Devick sucked in a breath through her teeth. All thoughts of biding her time vanished, replaced by the clean certainty of purpose. “Tell me what to do.”

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has grown to Level 295!

…

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has grown to Level 313!

The bearded man paused, midstride. “I’m sorry?”

Old, reliable, wet-blanket golden-shell stepped forward with a stormy expression. “Don’t push your luck, girl. Whatever hold you have over Matteo, it will not work on me. If you do not stand aside for your betters, you will be made to.”

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has grown to Level 341!

…

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has grown to Level 390!

“You know what? Fuck it all,” Devick announced. Her whole body burned, but with that announcement, all the pressure released. Waves of vicious flames blasted out from her body. Some part of her warned her she was being reckless, but she couldn’t find it in her to care. Not when caring meant she spent another miserable second trying to impress these smug, condescending pricks. “Hey, goldie. You know what they say about a turtle with a hard shell, right?”

Congratulations! Your Skill Frolic of the Needle Tooth Hare (L)(U) has grown to Level 401!

Recalculating…

Pantheon’s intervention. Skill synchronization initiated. Recalculating…

Congratulations! Your Skill Spiteflame Heart (A) has merged with Frolic of the Needle Tooth Hare (L)(U)! So long as you are wearing the Clasp of Lunacy, an improved Skill will be created!

Congratulations! You have gained the Skill Malice, Hare of the Crimson Foot and Barbed Heart (M)(U)!

The two guards were already moving, leveling their halberds at Devick’s chest. Yet without the constant sizzle of pain, she felt strangely focused. Her body tingled. Her toes tensed and she stepped lightly, blurring around the opponents, landing right in front of the golden shell Turtleline. The ghost of her image flickered behind her back, slowly coming into focus. She reached out, her heart pounding, and wrapped her knuckles against his shell.

“Embarrassed Turtlelines use hard shells to cover up soft dicks,” Devick hissed. The Master stood to the side, gaping at the sudden display.

The golden-shelled Turtleline’s image blasted outward, overwhelmingly strong compared to the Level 47 Devick. But all it took was a single step and she breezed through the threshold, passing into the core area of the ritual.

Of course, it’s fucking orange.

She kept an eye out for a follow-up attack, but all of those details fell away. As Devick moved into the orange light, she felt her whole being shiver. Her focus turned forward, but already she experienced the strange sensation of being flatened and shifted, from silhouette to constellation in an instant.

With a soft pop, Devick appeared in a strange, misty space. She fell to her hands in knees in ankle-deep water, coughing and splashing. After sucking in a few deep breaths, she pulled her new Skill within her body; without a constant reminder of why she was so furious smirking in front of her, the pain settled down to a mild itching.

She staggered to her feet, beginning to cackle remembered the livid expression on goldie’s face as she had delivered her parting line. She might have slipped away from trouble for the moment, but adrenaline still thundered through her veins. The considerations of what might happen when she returned fluttered around her head, but she could barely recognize them.

It just felt so good not to feel obliged to bow her head. She hadn’t realized how much being in the military structure had begun to rankle.

Luckily, thoughts about the looming consequences were dissuaded when she straightened and found herself face to face with a brightly smiling Turteline child standing in the middle of the mist. The being cast a dark shadow on the water, but grinned at her. “Hello, friend! What’s so funny? I quite like jokes.”

Devick tilted her head to the side, altogether thrown by the series of events of the last minute. In the end, she shook her head. “...I don’t think this is a joke worth repeating, little one. Who… are you?”

“Ah of course,” The small Turtleline claps his hands. “You are here for the festival, yes? Welcome! I am the spirit of the lifeseal. Like all others, I will ask you only a single question. Depending on your answer, you may be rewarded. Now, friend… are you or are you not virtuous?”

“...seriously?” Devick blinked once and then released a sharp laugh. If this was a test of purity and well-spoken virtue, she might as well beat a swift retreat from here to avoid comeuppance. “Me? Of course not. I think most people would assume I don’t even notice, but it’s not that I’m stupid, I just see no reason to change; I’m not virtuous at all. I-”

For having a wife and daring to pursue me so aggressively, I resolved to kill a man.

I would cheat and slaughter my way down the darkest path in existence to stand by Nether King Hungry Eye’s side, as an equal.

I am obsessive and fickle, violent and capricious. And I regret nothing.

Devick’s whirling reflections came to an end when a new voice spoke.

“I have waited a long, long time for one such as you to come to this place, girl. One so filled with bitterness and desire. You… are like me.”

Devick stilled. The Turtleline child showed a pained expression, but his mouth hadn’t moved. Instead, the water had stilled. The long, dark shadow the child cast began to grow and swell, stretching across the surface of the water.

Some part of Devick wondered if she should feel fear, but she didn’t flinch as it reached out a massive hand and touched her shadow. She shivered. And true to the words of the shadow, she felt an instant empathy with it.

“Ah… such a pure desire.” The shadow rumbled. The bright, misty area began to darken. “It is a tragedy that you are not of my race, but I will not hold that against you. Not when this prick has been dolling out small trinkets to my children, who give lip service to virtue. They speak so quickly that they don’t even understand the words. So, honest girl, strange girl, the only one to have chosen vice: what do you desire?”

“Everything,” Devick whispered without thinking.

The shadow cackled. “Luckily for you, there must be balance in all blessings. For the virtuous to have been rewarded for so long, you will receive an even greater bounty. For giving me such a nostalgic taste of pure Greed, take everything I can give. Then go out into the world and plunder all the rest."