The Inconceivable Flame: A Fallen Angel“s Disguise

Xiao Zhiren waited for her reply while Ru’s eyes lingered on the one thing that connected her to her clan; The Xia Clan of Shadowwick State. The pendant could be said to be an identity token that proved who she was. She never had the heart to part with it but she did.

There were two reasons why Ru left it behind when she left the hospital without informing him. First, she wanted to give him something as reassurance that he’d pay this life-debt. The second was the most important one because of which she never even asked him who he was back then. She had given herself a goal at that time; She’d not look for this pendant until she had found the people who left her at her last breath.

Because she knew if she had this pendant, she’d have run back home long ago. She still remembered the time when she lost the pendant at the age of eight. Her father was so worried that he spent the entire day looking for it in the woods. And when she had asked him why was a simple pendant so important, he had replied with, "My child, this is not a normal pendant. Always remember, this pendant represents your existence. Don’t ever gamble with this thing. Its purpose is yet to be served."

Until today, Ru wasn’t sure what he meant. What purpose could a pendant really have? But she was told not to question since every answer had a time.

"This was the only thing I had of you. This was the only thing that assured me that you’re out there somewhere." Ru looked at the side of his face as he continued, "Sometimes when I felt like you were just a long dream of mine, this pendant reminded me that I was wrong. You’re as real as this pendant in my hands."

Ru’s lips curled up slightly as she listened to him. "I looked for you everywhere. I used every single mean to look for you but I couldn’t. But I never stopped waiting. Somehow, I believed in the promise you left behind. And just because you said you’ll come back, I believed in you wholeheartedly without any doubt."

"Why didn’t you just give up? What if I really had lied in that letter?" Ru questioned with a skeptical look in her eyes.

"I could give up. But my heart couldn’t do so." Her brows quirked up as she looked into his ink-black eyes. "My heart had been dead set on you from the moment we first met in that bar."

"Bar?" Ru looked perplexed.

"I know you don’t remember. But I don’t know why. However, I’m not gonna remind you either. You’ll have to think about that yourself." Xiao Zhiren’s reply made her even more confused.

She really didn’t remember. But if she really didn’t that only meant one thing; she met him during the year that is erased from her memory!

"I was really surprised to know that you have green eyes. I mean when I first met you, you had pure black eyes just like mine."

"I must be wearing lenses. Green is my color from the beginning. But I was often asked to keep it a secret from others." Ru replied blankly with no emotion but with a turmoil in her mind as she tried to put some stress on it. Trying hard to remember anything from their first meeting but nothing came up.

"Is Yu your name?" His question made her look confused and he pointed at the pendant in her hand saying, "That’s Yu in Cantonese."

Ru chuckled as she shook her head. "It’s also Ru in Mandarin. Why did you think it was Cantonese? The character has the same strokes but different pronunciations only."

"I first met you in Macau, so I assumed you to be from there. And people of Macau speak Cantonese. So, that’s why I was misled." Xiao Zhiren elaborated sheepishly.

"We met in Macau?" He nodded at her sudden question. "Where did you find me injured then?"

"Taiwan." He answered honestly while he didn’t know why she was asking these questions. But since she did, he had to answer honestly at all costs.

"But I was in a hospital in Capital when I left."

"Oh, that’s because I brought you to China for better treatment and also because I was worried that those people who injured you might look for you again."

"Did you..." Ru licked her dry lips and tried again, "Did you see anyone who injured me?"

"No. You’re alone when I and Ran Zi found you at your last breath fighting desperately to live." Xiao Zhiren could never forget that moment. Not even if he tried to. Her blood-soaked, slashed, the bruised body was still etched in his mind. He still had nightmares recalling how she could have died if he hadn’t found her on time.

"I was indeed desperate to live..." Ru mumbled softly with a irony in her voice. As the silence made room between them, Xiao Zhiren felt uneasy. She looked to be living through some painful memory as her fists were clenched turning her knuckles white.

The rims of her eyes were getting red in rage and the furious look in her eyes made his heart clench painfully. He didn’t like seeing her like that.

Placing his hand over hers, he smiled at her softly and said, "So, your name is Ru?"

With the warmth of his hands on her cold ones, she felt herself relaxing slowly. Her calmness returned also instantly to her as she looked into his eyes again.

"I was never taught my name. But everyone called me Young Master Ru, so I assumed it to be my name." Ru’s reply took Xiao Zhiren off guard.

"What? How can no one tell you your own name? That’s unfair."

"I still don’t know why I was raised as a boy. And you’re upset about a meaningless name?" Ru poked his forehead like he always did to her. "But I do know that everything has a reason. I am indeed Young Master Ru but why am I, Young Master Ru, I’m not sure about that."

This answer was the closest she had been to let anyone know about herself. But it was getting easier with him. It was like him telling her about being the savior from back then made another connection to link them together. And that connection made her feel really relaxed and comfortable in his presence.

"What should I call you then?" Xiao Zhiren questioned with a woeful look.

"Don’t you call me your little chili? Isn’t that already enough?" Ru’s answer made his mouth agape. This was the second time on the same day that she called herself ’His’. This acceptance was really satisfying and gratifying.

Encircling his arms around her waist, he pulled her close while she stared at him with raised brows. "You are indeed my little chili but I need a name as well."

Ru’s hand lifted while Xiao Zhiren kept his eyes on her movements. Her palms laid flat against his chest while he thought she’ll push him like always but surprisingly, she didn’t. She only titled her head up to ask, "Why is that? Why is the name necessary?"

Nuzzling up to the side of her face, he said in a slightly husky voice, "The most intimate name from the one you love is your own name. Just like I get a million feelings when you call me Zhiren. The feel is different. It’s real with no sweetness but it does have a lot of real intimacy."

"Hmm... Remind me not to call you Zhiren again."

Xiao Zhiren bit her earlobe making her stare at him wide-eyed. "Don’t force me to punish you."

"What did I do?" Ru pointed her chin challengingly.

"You hid too many things from me, Lord Alev Knight."

Ru immediately lowered her eyes while pursing her lips. That reminder was really not necessary. "Fine, fine. I’ll call you Zhiren. It’s not like I can call you anything else."

With a heavy sigh, Xiao Zhiren agreed, "I don’t expect any nicknames from you either. Baby, darling, love, sugar, honey, all these from your mouth? Just the idea is unimaginable."

Ru was cringing as he said all those names and nodded, "Indeed. That’s too hard for me."

"But I’d love to hear that hubby from you." Xiao Zhiren’s cheeky grin came again.

Ru rolled her eyes at him as she said, "Stay on Earth. No need to dream of heaven that soon. It’s unreachable. Just like hearing hubby from my mouth. Ever!"

Xiao Zhiren laughed at her reply and hugged her tightly as he whispered, "My heaven is not unreachable anymore. It’s right here with you in my arms." ’And one day, I’ll make you call me hubby. It’s a promise!’

Ru really wanted to smack his head but couldn’t do so. Involuntarily, her heart was betraying her as it was really beating like a drum in his presence. The signs were all there. Irregular heartbeat, silly smiles, a giddy feeling in her heart... The only thing that left was; Her acceptance of all these feelings.