The Inconceivable Flame: A Fallen Angel“s Disguise

It was one thing that Xiao Zhiren couldn’t believe that Ru didn’t stop him from kissing her. While it was a totally different thing for Ru who was in shock. She had been kissed from her forehead to the junction where her jaw met her neck.

And each kiss left a yearning in its wake. How did he do that? Ru couldn’t tell. Well, obviously, her knees weren’t inclined on buckling or her stomach feeling like a garden of butterflies flapping away having a go at merry go lucky. But still, some feelings were there for sure. Even though those feelings weren’t like normal girls who get giddy or shy at such a thing.

Ru just couldn’t bring herself to act coquettishly. She was from a warrior bloodline, it’d be an insult to her whole lineage if she really became a docile lady or acted like a delicate young woman. Eeee! Even the sound of that didn’t settle well with her.

"Keep your hands to yourself. Make some distance." Ru placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away as she spoke. But Xiao Zhiren wasn’t paying attention to her words. His eyes and focus were solely on the strong hands that were planted on his chest.

"If you kept seducing me, I won’t be able to keep my distance," he warned with a look of pure desire as his pupils contracted dangerously.

"When did I seduce you? Bloody! I don’t even know how to seduce someone!" Ru replied with assurance. His eyes pointed at her hands on his chest and Ru retracted them back with an awkward cough, "I should really leave before I go crazy here."

"I don’t mind if you go crazy for me," he replied cheekily making Ru’s mouth to twitch. She couldn’t decide whether she wanted to laugh or cry. His words were amusing, sincere and yet sounded so cheesy that she had the urge to cringe.

"I’ll really lose my mind with you," said Ru in exasperation as she turned on her heels to leave.

"I’d prefer if you lose your heart to me. Your mind is too complicated for a simple man like me." Xiao Zhiren shouted at her back.

Ru looked over her shoulder at him and asked, "Since when did you become a simple man? You crafty little thing!"

"First of all, I’m not a little thing. Crafty but not little." Xiao Zhiren said with his obvious displeasure. "Second of all, I am a very simple man. See, I’m so simple that I only know two things."

"What?"

"One, I love you. Two, I want you to be mine for a lifetime." Xiao Zhiren replied with ease. "Wait! I want you for all the lifetimes and even in the afterlife. No bargaining on that!"

"You! You!" Ru was having trouble finding the right words to describe him. "Bloody son of a bachelor! I can’t even handle you for a day. I’ll really go crazy if I got stuck with you for a lifetime."

"But love, you don’t have any other choice. You’re already stuck with me." Xiao Zhiren replied as he crossed his arms over his chest with a smile gracing his slightly pale but handsome face.

"I always have a choice," Ru replied with her usual arrogance.

"We’ll see about that," Xiao Zhiren response was equally arrogant.

Ru left his apartment and nearly lost her composure as she walked into her own. Okay, let’s sort out what just happened.

’You are going on a date.’ Her conscious reminded her in a sing-song voice. Well, someone was ecstatic about this. She rolled her eyes at that with a snort.

"Mind your words. I’m not going on a date. I’m going as a date." Ru said as if her logic really made any sense. When even she knew that her logic neither had a head nor a tail. It was bullshit on her part! "Moving on, he kissed me. Let me add, again."

’And you liked it.’ Her conscious spoke again.

"I so did not!" Ru said out loud.

’Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!’ Again, what’s up with that sing-song excitement?

"Argh! Why are his words affecting me so much?" Ru said to no one in particular. But someone heard it. Someone who was keen on answering as well.

And it was...

Obviously, her conscious as she shot back, ’Because every word of his is filled with love and sincerity. You can’t make yourself hate that.’

"I really can’t." Ru agreed with her conscious as she continued, "Those eyes of his are so expressive that it’s getting intense whenever I look into those orbs. That stupid smile of his is beautiful but why do I feel grateful to see him happy? It’s weird that his scent is getting to me. How can it calm the raging storms in me? And those kisses... He never made me feel like he had an ulterior motive. How can someone’s kiss be so pure and full of emotions? Why am I not disgusted by his touch like any other? Why does his taste is stuck in my memory? Why am I not repulsive to intimacy anymore?"

There are so many whys in her life now!

’With all due respect, are you still planning on denying your feelings?’ As Ru heard that annoying voice again in her head, she fell quiet.

Was she going to deny? She wanted to. But she didn’t like seeing the disappointment on Xiao Zhiren’s face either. Whenever she was rude to him, she could see the way his eyes dimmed and it almost gave the illusion that he was losing something very precious. Just how precious was she to him?

Honestly, Ru couldn’t even fathom that part. She couldn’t possibly have thought the intensity of Xiao Zhiren’s love. He said he was crazy for her. He literally meant it. He said she means the world to him. He really did because all his world was her.

"It’s official. I’m lost. Young Master Ru finally managed to become a lost cause. Such a shame it is!" Ru muttered again as she closed her eyes.

After a while, she ran towards the full-length mirror in her closet and looked at her reflection from head to toe. "What does he see that is so appealing?" She asked as she kept trying to find anything unique on herself. "Like any other girl, I have two eyes, two arms, two legs, one nose, lips, two ears, and two strawberry creams that I always hide. I don’t see anything out of the ordinary. Then what does he see? What I see is appalling, not appealing."

Ru ruffled her hair in annoyance since after spending an hour trying to look for something unique in herself. She was still back to square one. She was no different. Then why did he like her?

’Since when did young master Ru lost her arrogance and confidence in herself?’

Ru sighed at that question. "I’m confident as a young master. I can guarantee that nobody can shake off my charms as a man. But as a woman? Sheesh! I’m the worst of the worst. How can anyone love someone like me who doesn’t even know the first thing about being a woman?"

Her self-doubts weren’t far-fetched at all. They were valid since she found herself rather shabby and repulsive as a woman. It wasn’t like he fell for her body. He never even saw it clearly. She didn’t have an hourglass body that men seemed to fall for easily.

Till the sun went down to sleep peacefully at night, Ru was still burying her head in her knees trying to come up with one reason. Just one reason that could explain why Xiao Zhiren was after her. But till now, no luck. She had only gotten a splitting headache from all this thinking.

Finally, in frustration, she left her apartment and found herself at Xiao Zhiren’s door. She rang the bell and waited. He took some time before opening the door and when he did, he was surprised to find her on the other side.

Before he could question her, she spoke up, "Why me?"

"Huh?" he was dumbfounded and lost.

"What do you see in me? Do you like the fact that I disguise myself as a man? Because I can’t think of anything else that’s different than any other girl. So, tell me, why me?"

Xiao Zhiren understood her dilemma very well. And it made his heart hurt to see that she was questioning herself as a woman. Her real identity. Did she really have no confidence in herself?

He gave a soft smile and answered, "You don’t have to be different. You just have to be you. Because you’re enough to brighten my day like a sun with just a simple smile. That same smile is enough to make my heart do a somersault in excitement. It’s enough that you see the world in a way that I never could." Ru kept silent all this while he continued patiently, "Besides, my heart chose you the moment it saw you. Did I really need another reason? My heart has already caught the rhythm of yours. That reason should be enough for you."