172 Chapter 172
One day, inside of God's infinite memory, Abraxas asked Demian.
<What can you do for Lara?>
Anything.
<Even if Lara becomes the demon lord?>
Of course.
Demian said that he would follow Lara even to the pits of hell. He could even kill God for her, or if he had to destroy the world once again. He could do it for her.
Then God said.
<Then, become the…>
God sounded both pleased and relieved. That was the first time Abraxas recognized Demian as a separate entity, and not as a fragment of himself. For too long have they lived far apart from each other. Though they used to be one being, they had spent years forgetting and not knowing one another.
To define existence with consciousness was ultimately the result of a memory. After finding Demian's memory, Abraxas showed him his own sea of memories, that of which were as vast and widespread as a galaxy.
There were so many. When Demian first entered the memory of God, the space was filled only with Abraxas' memories and presence. But now, the space was filled with ones that belonged to those of Demian. They flowed beautifully.
Demian approached the most sparkling memory and looked closely inside.
Inside the memory was Lara, during her life before she died. She stood next to Prince Sidhar in a long veil, looking up at Demian. Even at that time, Demian was still going to war for her. Even though the blood from the previous fight had not dried yet, Lara told him to go out and fight again.
"If you want, I will kill anyone for you."
Demian said so.
Lara let out a long sigh, even though she covered her face with a veil, Demian still could read her expression. At that time, she felt relieved. She was happy, but she was also sad at the same time.
Demian said that he would kill Prince Sidhar and everyone who cooperated with him if she wanted. Lara was very sharp and understood what he meant, but slowly shook her head. She had already chosen that life. She could not turn it upside down as if flipping her palms.
Instead, Lara raised her veil in front of Demian. Her thin face was awash with heavy fatigue. There was no vigor on her white-painted cheeks or pale lips. Still, her eyes were as red as ever. It was a madly beautiful twilight.
Demian fell deeply into Lara's eyes. Sunset, twilight, sunrise—everything was inside her eyes. Her eyes were the sun. Her eyes shone on his world and were the power to keep him alive. She had the most important thing in the world.
Demian reached out to Lara in spite of himself, her eyes gliding along with his hand.
Prince Sidhar, who was standing beside Lara and was acting conceited to the knights, finally noticed and grilled Lara for not wearing the veil. Lara did not rebel against the Prince and obediently wore the veil again.
But as soon as Lara's eyes were hidden from Demian's view by the translucent veil, she smiled at him.
"Thank you."
The time they spent maintaining eye contact was short.
"Demian."
Lara called his name. It thrilled him. She had a sweet smile that melted his heart. Her faint voice seemed to disperse and disappear. Demian thought he was crazy at that time. He thought he might be crazy for this woman and was living a fantasy.
Lara's smile, voice, eye contact, everything was always directed at that ridiculous Prince, but for that moment, she gave it to Demian, and Demian alone. For that brief moment, he could live for her.
Demian knelt down in front of Lara. If there was one true slave in this world, it would be him, in his madly-crazed state of love.
The master of my destiny. To reach you, I can tear and climb up to the sky.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
"Demian?"
Lara's voice awakened Demian's thoughts. The two stood facing each other under a large cypress tree, getting hit by the white snow pouring down whenever the wind blew. A dust of snow had clung to Lara's long eyelashes. Lara closed one of her eyes.
Demian stroked Lara's face with his hot hands and gave her warmth. The snow dust hanging from Lara's eyelashes quickly became water droplets and soon disappeared from his palm.
"It tickles."
Lara smiled. Demian looked at her smile with an expression of deep emotion.
"Ask me again."
"About what?"
"Whether I have anything I want."
Demian said. Lara quickly noticed that he was bringing up the conversation they had shared at the arena, back when she had just returned to the past and met him for the first time again.
Lara smiled like a breeze. She was reminded of when Demian acted aloof and indifferent even when Lara proposed that she would pay on his behalf so that he would not be called a slave anymore.
They kissed for the first time that day. And the reason why she was not angry at the sudden kiss was that she was swollen up like dandelion seeds the moment she touched him.
"Demian, what do you want?"
Lara asked. Demian leaned down again and put his forehead near hers. Their noses barely touched, giving a slight itchy feeling. Demian whispered, wrapping his hands around Lara's cheeks while she tried to burst out laughing.
"Your everything."
His deep voice, low laughter, big hand, and everything had grabbed Lara's heart, refusing to let go. Her head was dizzy yet her whole body was overwhelmed with a rush of excitement. He had only given her a slight touch, yet she was already embarrassed and had let out an exhilarating moan.
She wanted to reach him more. She wanted to lean on his warm flesh and immerse herself in the most instinctive pleasure. Lara deliberately pretended to be arrogant to hide her feelings and asked him.
"My everything? Aren't you being too greedy?"
Demian answered seriously.
"Yeah, I'm greedy."
He appeared in this world and lived an empty life where he wanted nothing just to meet Lara. Everything that others wanted, craved, and indulged through their lives. Lara was everything to Demian.
Demian looked up at Lara. he brushed off her cloak to remove the snow and led her under the thick branches, their white breaths dissipating into nothingness.
Lara thought of something and asked him.
"Demian."
"Yeah."
"Do you want to live?"
Back then, he said he was living because he was alive. This time, Demian replied.
"If it's by your side."
"Then… Do you want to die?"
"If it's for you."
"Any place you want to go?"
"Wherever you are."
Lara burst into laughter. She lightly shook the heavy weight of fate off her shoulder and smiled brightly. Her laughter, chirping like a bird, flew among the pointed conifers.
"Anything you want to eat? Anything you want to have? Anyone you want to meet? Any skill you want to learn? Anyone you want to get back at?"
"Lara."
"Why me? You, who used to want nothing, Demian, a perfect executioner made by God, why does it have to be me?"
And as for me, why does it have to be you?
Lara whispered. Her last sentence was more of a monologue so Demian did not bother to answer. Lara also did not pester for an answer. Love might be the only force that moved the world without regard to cause and effect.
Lara said.
"Do you know? I love you. Passionately. Madly."
Lara sounded like the goddess of victory when she spoke in confidence.
"Don't mistake my love for being smaller than yours. I died once and came back. Now I know. It wasn't to make you happy, It was to make myself happy by being with you. My love is different. It has changed. It's not about sacrificing everything, it's not about throwing everything away nor is it about dying."
Nothing would change even if Demian was a fragment of God.
"I will achieve you from the God of Fate."
Lara's fingertips finely trembled. She had the love she had to protect and so was determined not to be shaken even in the face of such a tragic war and so many deaths.
What no one could invade was her very will.