The Black Swan Behind (Beauty of Fire)

204 Trust and Confession

Emma was still staring at Poppy. Then she poured the juice into a glass and gave it to her, “Here. Have a drink to calm down. I know it feels terrible to recall it. But we did care about you, Poppy. We couldn’t think of a better way to help you.”

Poppy took the glass. She smiled faintly at Emma with tears in her eyes, “I should be the one thanking you guys. Please forgive my unstable emotions.”

“You can’t blame the unstable emotions that trauma has done on you, Poppy. Trauma is a monster that only you can see it. Therefore, don’t hate yourself for the fear you experienced. It’s rare for someone with trauma to fully recover.” Rachel said while rubbing the back of Poppy who was sitting beside her.

“Rachel’s right. Of course, you can cry all you want, Pops. But can I continue this?” Kathy gave an awkward faint smile.

Emma sighed harshly, “Okay, Kathy. I’ll tell you that. Rachel and I formed a group to beat the gangsters. That’s the point.”

Kathy suddenly stood up from her seat. Then she pointed at Emma, ??as if she were a thief, “I knew it! Haha! You finally admit it, Emma Hilland!”

“You knew?” Emma looked surprised.

“Actually, I didn’t know for sure. But I was just guessing,” Kathy replied before pulling her hands away and folding them across her chest.

“Do you remember when you asked me to find out about Donny? I showed you the location of the boat spare parts shops belonging to that group called Hell Gate. At that time, you said that we could do nothing and should not deal with criminals like them. But when you came home from my house, I found one thing! I realized that when I went to the toilet, you opened my computer again and printed the point map of Hell Gate’s shops that I made! Haha.. You were indeed smart, Emma! But you can’t mess up with my computer!” Kathy laughed like a warrior with her hands on her waist.

.....

“W-what?” Emma stuttered. Of course, she remembered it. But she did not expect that her actions had been known by Kathy. Then Emma slapped her forehead, “Ah! Of course! The printing history on the printer. It must still be there.”

“Oh.. It wasn’t that, Emma. You think I’d just think that you’re printing something on my printer?” Kathy chuckled like a criminal, “Sorry, Emma. But didn’t I tell you not to fiddle with my computer? That’s the thing I hate the most.”

“Ah.. I’m really sorry, Kathy. It was unavoidably urgent.” Emma said with a sorry face.

“Well, since it was you and your intentions were admittedly good, I could still tolerate it.” Kathy shrugged and then continued, “Because I don’t like anyone messing with my computer, so all this time I’ve been added the webcam function on my monitor. Besides being able to be used to take live video, I also use it as a CCTV for 24 hours. I also set it up so that all recorded videos would be saved and deleted every three days after getting my approval. Every three days, I would speed up the videos and check if anyone was secretly touching my computer, especially my brother. But guess what did I find? It was you, Emma. I caught you playing on my computer and printing something out of it.” Kathy explained.

Emma, ??Poppy and Rachel were flabbergasted at Kathy’s explanation. It seemed she did have a psychopathic spirit in her. Turning a webcam into a CCTV? It was an idea that had never crossed their minds.

“You..” Emma nodded, “are awesome. It was something I didn’t expect at all.”

Kathy smiled crookedly, “Of course, Emma. You just don’t know well who Kathania Dusk is.”

Emma smiled forcefully, “But, will you sit down, please? My neck is a little sore seeing you standing like a warrior like that.”

Kathy finally sat down on the floor, now making her three friends have to look down slightly to see her from the sofa. At least that was better than having to look up. “After that, to be honest, I became suspicious of you, Emma. But it seemed that you rarely use social media so I had a hard time finding out about you. But at one point, I ended up choosing to stop looking for it because I was sure you have reasons to hide what you were doing. I also thought that if you really think of us as an important part of your life, you’d tell it yourself eventually, just like today. It’s your decision to keep it hidden or not.”

Kathy’s last sentence made Emma move uncomfortably. She looked at Kathy’s face which seemed to cover her disappointment. Did it turn out that all this time, Kathy had seen Emma from that perspective? Kathy realized that Emma was hiding something from her because she was not an important person in Emma’s life.

“Well..” Kathy continued. “From all your words that said that you have a phobia of fear of not having friends, or your habit which like to cut your own words to replace it with another topic. Maybe you always see me as a careless person. But I actually noticed and realized something was strange, especially with you, Emma.”

Kathy suddenly remembered something else, “Ah.. There’s something else that’s been bothering me too. When you two helped me out on that balcony, I thought it didn’t make sense. If you were an ordinary girl, I didn’t think you’d be that strong to hold me down and even swing my body with only one hand. And at that very moment, the two of you worked together to cover it up.” she explained, looking alternately at Emma and Rachel.

When Kathy finished speaking, the living room became quiet. Only the ticking of the clock could be heard there. The three girls looked at Emma who kept her face down. They purposely gave Emma time to think.

“If you mind telling us what your secret is, I’m very okay with that, Emma. You don’t have to think this friendship would end just because you have a secret you can’t tell. The story is yours and you live it. It’s your right whether to tell it or not to others.” Poppy said.

Kathy nodded, “I agree with Poppy. I’m sorry if I sound pushy on you, Emma. But I just wanted to pour out all my suspicions about you all this far. It’s not cool to be guessing things about my friends, right? It just makes us look stupid. At least now I don’t have a burden anymore.”

Emma gulped before lifting her face to look at Kathy and Poppy, “I feel sorry for making you guys think that you aren’t important to me. But it’s real that I’m afraid of not having friends. I’m afraid of being left behind and everything will be changed for me.”

“Honestly, I came to Handway City not solely to start a new life. I indeed wanted to live a normal and peaceful life. I wanted to look the same as other girls. But the fact is that I am quite a physically strong girl and master various martial arts. I also never hesitate to use them. But I’m tired of the rough life full of violence. And I’m afraid that if you all know about it, your view of me will be different. Maybe you will be careful with me, or what’s worse.. don’t want to be friends with me anymore.” Emma continued.

“Emma..” Poppy burst into tears again, “what if I’m asking you back? Aren’t you being too unfair to yourself? I am a girl who is looked down upon by everyone because of the big mistake I made. I am a former porn star, which was against my will. The videos have already spread on our campus, Handway City, and even the whole world. However, when all my old friends left me, instead you came and made me your friend. You were not ashamed and still treated me very well, Emma. Then why should I judge your past? Why should I make you a stranger just because you’ve done violence?”

Rachel nodded in agreement, “Nobody is perfect.”

“Why would you have that thought, Emma? You are our friend. And that fact won’t change no matter what.” Kathy added.

Emma’s eyes felt hot. She wiped the tears that almost fell down her cheeks, “Forgive my doubts towards you guys. Did I ever say that before coming here, I never had friends? That’s what makes me stupid. Too long busy alone with myself made me a selfish person.”

“If you mean being selfish to yourself, then you’re right, Emma. But maybe I’ll be upset if you mean being selfish to others. You’ve been helping people so much, Emma. I even haven’t seen you asked the payback from the people that you helped.” Kathy said.

“Remember what you’ve done for me, Emma. Not just for me, but for my grandfather and the workers also.” Rachel stared at Emma. She had to make Emma stop looking down on herself.

Emma finally nodded in understanding. Although her little heart still produced feelings of fear and worry, Emma tried to believe the words of her friends because she herself wanted her friends to believe in her. Wouldn’t it be unfair if she couldn’t trust them back?

“I don’t know how to thank you guys,” Emma muttered.

“Just trust us and stop being selfish with yourself.” Rachel’s reply was followed by nods of approval from Kathy and Poppy.

After Emma could pull herself together, she started to tell what she had been hiding all this time. She told them that she had been trained since a kid because she grew up in a harsh environment. And how could she run away from home to end up living alone in Handway City and her goal to live as a normal girl to learn ballet.

Until Emma came to a story about things that forced her to bring out all the things she had worked so hard to hide, which was her strength.