The Best Director

Chapter 182: “The Hangover” is here! (Requesting monthly passes)

On the TV screen, a logo with moths and butterflies circling flames flickered by, and then on the spacious and luxurious bathroom’s marble floor, a large tiger lying on its side roared. It blinked its eyes, then roared again with its head tilted, just like MGM’s classic opening animation. Suddenly, it stood up and rushed forward as the dazed and sleepy Zachary screamed and dashed out of the bathroom; the camera rapidly cut to the dentist Ed Helms also screaming, with the teacher Bradley panic-stricken as the tiger swiped at him in the car.

“We can’t find Doug.” In the desert, Bradley looked up at the sky, disheveled, “The wedding might not happen.” The camera shifted to the beautiful bride in her wedding dress, holding a bouquet of flowers and looking out of the window, with all the wedding guests seated on benches, many checking the time on their watches with anxious expressions.

“Wow!!!” On an endless highway, a vintage Mercedes convertible raced past, with the chubby Zachary slapping the car door and smiling and shouting at a little girl, “Vegas, Vegas…” In a flash, he was seen wailing in pain, his face full of lightning effects, tottering but not falling down.

The images on the screen began to flash by rapidly, in a confusing but seemingly related sequence, as the four men walked across the hotel corridor like the opening of “Reservoir Dogs”; they toast on the rooftop, suddenly cutting back to the car where they set off, with the chubby guy asking, “Should we take a few guns with us? I heard it’s Sin City.” The teacher, dentist, and groom all looked at him with odd expressions.

At that moment, a voiceover with a magnetic tone swiftly narrated, “Directed by Wang Yang, starring Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Matthew Fox, Charlize Theron, Michelle Rodriguez. This Christmas, are you ready to laugh until you cry?”

As the voice spoke, the images flashing on the screen became full of surprise and excitement, with a baby in a room, street racing, Michelle beating up the trio… and waves of screams, the camera finally resting on the contorted face of Ed Helms, who screamed with veins popping out on his forehead, “What the hell happened—!”

“December 13th, ‘The Hangover’ makes its hilarious worldwide debut!” the narrator concluded, then a rooster was seen leisurely walking through the hotel room, clucking a few times.

This latest TV trailer aired on Thanksgiving, November 28th, captivating countless North American families with its lively and suspenseful story. The wedding is off? Where did the groom go? What exactly happened? And the fans’ interest similarly surged because Flame Films had dared to use slogans like “laugh to death” and “laugh until you cry.” Wang Yang has never lied; “District 9” was the only one that remained noncommittal.

Thanksgiving was also the anniversary of Wang Yang and Jessica’s romance. The couple had been together for four years, growing from teenagers into adults, and both had changed a lot in physique, appearance, and knowledge. But what hadn’t changed was their budding feelings for each other. After celebrating Thanksgiving, the time stepped into December, and the week before the Christmas season began heating up.

December 6th-12th ended with just a total box office of $105 million. The new installment of the 007 series, “Die Another Day,” stayed on top for the third week, raking in $16.7019 million; “Analyze That,” which opened in 2,635 theaters in its first week, only brought in $14.3122 million, far below Warner Bros.’ expectations, and the R-rated comedy’s struggle during the Christmas season took another hit; ranking third was “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” at $12.4102 million, with a four-week gross of $216 million.

When the calendar on the wall flipped to Friday the 13th, the 2002 Christmas season officially kicked off, with the massive release of five films.

On a warm, sunny afternoon, the red carpet outside the Snowland Theater was bustling with celebrities in suits and evening gowns, all smiling for the photographers, answering questions from media reporters on both sides of the barricade, and waving to the shouting, enthusiastic fans. It was the premiere of “The Hangover.”

The red carpet today was truly star-studded. In addition to the main cast of “The Hangover,” there were many guests, including Tom Welling, confirmed as the new Superman in “Superman Returns”; Robert Downey Jr. in a gray suit; the towering Shaquille O’Neal; Will Smith and his wife; Zachary Levi; Jessica Alba and her brother; and of course, Joshua as part of the crew.

“Yang, ‘The Hot Chick’ starring Rachel McAdams is also releasing today,” amidst the snaps and flashes of cameras, the reporters at the barricade focused on the black-suited, black-tied Wang Yang, as a blonde woman loudly asked, “Do you have anything you want to tell Rachel? Have you guys talked about this?”

“Yes, we’ve talked about it,” Wang Yang nodded with a smile, greeted Charlize Theron passing by in a purple gown, and continued with a smile, “I told Rachel, best of luck; Rachel also said to me, best of luck.” Another male reporter asked, “Wayne Wang’s ‘Maid in Manhattan’ is premiering today as well, what’s your opinion?”

Wang Yang kept a smiling face, muttering to himself that he had answered these same questions countless times these days. He replied once again, “Wayne Wang is a director I really admire, he can always capture those subtle emotions, and his movies are very much worth savoring.” Upon hearing yet another mundane question, he almost burst into laughter, saying, “No, we are not related.”

Just then, someone patted him on the back; it was the passing Michelle Rodriguez in a black evening gown, holding a clutch, laughing brazenly at the reporters, “Yang is a Kung Fu master! I almost got killed by him on the set.” Wang Yang widened his eyes in surprise, hastily saying, “Wow, don’t say that, they’ll really write it like that!”

The reporters all laughed heartily, snapping photos of him and Michelle with their long lenses, when a dark-haired female reporter named Melo asked, “Magical Yang, some people say your ‘The Hangover’ is to make up for the heartache from ‘District 9’?” Wang Yang chuckled, “Indeed, ‘The Hangover’ will make people feel happy.” The female reporter immediately asked with a laugh, “How much? Can I really laugh until I cry?”

“I think you’ll find out very soon.”

As dusk turned to darkness, the bustling outside the Selan Theater subsided into quietness, as all the stars, reporters, and movie fans entered the theater, readying themselves for the premiere. Meanwhile, in 2875 cinemas across North America, although not all were sold out, there were hardly any empty seats – after all, Mr. Magical had maintained a 100% reputation for splendid films up to now.

“Excuse me, make way, make way,” Natalie, carrying a huge bucket of popcorn, made her way to a row of seats. The audience members with stretched-out legs retracted them as no one noticed in the dim light who she was. Natalie took her seat next to an empty chair, looking up at the trailer of ‘Mr. Hughes’ on the big screen where Jim Carrey wore a serious look and a small moustache. She grabbed a handful of popcorn and stuffed it into her mouth, smiling broadly with anticipation and muttering to herself, “I love dirty humor, enough with the ‘Juno’ thing!”

Rachel was also looking up at the big screen in Los Angeles. ‘The Hot Chick’ did not have a premiere scheduled, and although the theater next door was about to show ‘The Hangover’ and she had seen it already, she watched the audience around her, dense with attendees, and contrary to their low murmuring, couldn’t help but shake her head with a chuckle.

While standing in line to buy tickets earlier, she noticed that out of every ten people, six were buying tickets for ‘The Hangover.’ She couldn’t understand why there was media predicting it would not win the weekend box-office crown. Of course, she hoped ‘The Hangover’ would achieve a miraculous success, but also that ‘The Hot Chick’ could take a good bite out of it— that would be really fun.

Thinking of this, Rachel couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, her ears tuned to the conversations among the audience around her: “I’ve seen five of Magical Yang’s movies, today is the sixth, I hope he won’t disappoint me.” “That latest trailer looks so tempting…” She then faintly heard someone’s laughter, “Rachel, even if you become box office poison, don’t worry! I won’t give up on you. Good luck to you!”

“Good luck, Magical Yang!” She pursed her lips, her cheeks revealing two dimples faintly.

Soon, the big screen returned to blackness and the audiences in 2875 cinemas gradually fell silent, as the screening was about to begin. Natalie, Rachel, and others adjusted their seating positions; movie fans across North America seemed to lick their lips in anticipation, ready to savor the feast and continue the adventure with Magical Yang’s characters Evelyn and the Alice family…

Of course, there were also the audience members in the large screening room of the Selan Theater, including well-known film critics, media reporters who had not attended test screenings, as well as the relatives and friends of honored guests. And the creative team of ‘The Hangover,’ sitting in the front row, whether they had seen the film or not, were all extremely excited. Michelle had a smirk on her face, and Zack and the other four members were whispering nervously among themselves; Harry George, in an oversized black suit, was squirming uncomfortably in his seat, muttering nervously, “Buddy, buddy, oh Lord… ”

“Master, I have a question for you?” Jessica, wearing a white evening dress with her hair pinned up in a bun, sat smiling radiantly beside Wang Yang, who turned to look at her as she asked, “A Cai, go ahead.” Jessica suddenly turned stern, eyeing him with narrowed eyes and demanded, “You guys didn’t do the things in the movie, did you? Otherwise, I can’t laugh.” Wang Yang immediately averted his eyes, glancing at Tom Willing’s couple and Zackary, and Joshua who was already giggling without having seen the film, muttering to himself, “Classic.” Jessica, confused, raised an eyebrow, but as he was about to answer, she raised her hand with a laugh and said, “Wait! Answer me after the movie, let me laugh once more first.” Wang Yang bowed with a laugh, “As you command, master.” With a smile, they both turned their heads back to the big screen.

“Hahaha—”

Within less than two minutes of the opening, boisterous laughter erupted in the Selan Theater, which was mirrored in cinemas throughout North America, followed by another round of chuckles. They all found their faces unexpectedly maintaining grins, facial muscles just about to relax, mouths about to close, and then suddenly breaking into uncontrollable laughter, some softly, some shaking with laughter, even producing wheezing bursts.

The story on the big screen proceeded amidst the laughter, as the four friends arrived at the Caesars Palace hotel in Las Vegas, and after a wild night, the Presidential Suite had gained a tiger and a rooster and a baby, but Doug was missing. When the three of them realized something was wrong, they embarked on a crazy quest to find Doug.

Amid suspenseful music, a police car charged chaotically through the streets on the screen, closely followed by gangster vehicles, with the trio inside screaming incessantly. A wedding was being held on the lawn of a small chapel, and the racing police car suddenly zoomed by and disrupted everything. When they were finally out of danger, Ed’s face was flushed with excitement as he yelled hoarsely, “What the hell happened—!!!”

“Haha!” In the dimly lit theater, laughter filled the ears. Evelyn covered her mouth with both hands, blushing and laughing: “Oh God… haha…” She believed that Magical Yang and ‘The Hangover’ would be funny, but she had never imagined it would be this awesome! Less than halfway through the film, she had laughed more times than she had during all the comedies she’d seen that year.

Sitting beside her, her best friend Kelly was also laughing until her mouth twitched, but seeing Evelyn struggling to catch her breath and knowing that her reactions were always several times more exaggerated than a normal person’s, she couldn’t help but ask, “Eve, are you okay?” Evelyn wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes, shaking with laughter, “I don’t know, I really don’t know, I might just die laughing. Wahahaha—”

“`

On the big screen, two police officers suddenly burst through the door, aiming their guns at the trio including Charlize Theron and shouting tensely, “Don’t move, don’t move!” Zack, Bradley, and Ed on the couch all threw their hands up and leaned back, their eyes widened in fear, with Bradley exclaiming, “God! Don’t shoot! I’m a teacher!” Zack panted out, “I don’t have a gun, I don’t have a gun!”

Seeing this unexpected turn of events, the entire theater erupted in laughter like Evelyn, and Kelly herself almost couldn’t breathe from laughing so hard. It should be fine this time, right? But compared to the dead silence during “District 9,” now it was just… She looked around at the audience laughing uproariously and silently gave a thumbs up, “Magical Yang has cast his spell again! He’s Harry Potter, right?”

It didn’t take long for the 2875 cinemas and the Shuelan Theater to erupt into even wilder laughter. In the police station, against the background of psychological suspense classical music and in slow motion, the chubby guy stood up with hate in his face and walked towards the clueless larger chubby Zack, followed by electric shocks and lightning special effects… The chubby guy ended up being electrocuted to fall down, the camera focused on his round bulging eyes. The audience’s laughter grew louder and louder, uncontrollably breaking the record for the highest decibels of the evening.

“Doug!” After leaving the police station, in the open space beside the highway, the trio excitedly opened the trunk of the sports car, and Michelle, wearing only underwear, sprang out. With a loud whoosh, she delivered a spinning kick that sent Bradley flying, then quickly dispatched Ed who was next to him. She approached Zack with menacing eyes and clenched fists and sneered, “You want to fuck me?”

“No one wants to fuck you, no one!” The chubby man cried fearfully as he backed away, stooping and stretching out a hand as he pleaded, “We’re in this together, we’re in this together, I hate Angelina Jolie; I hate her!” He swallowed hard with a trembling voice, “It’s not your fault, I’ve always thought this was Santa Monica; I’ll get your clothes…”

As the audience’s laughter was cramping their stomachs, they suddenly gasped again when on screen, the rampaging Michelle lifted the chubby man with both arms, spun him around like a strongman, and hurled the screaming Zack forward. The chubby guy fell to the ground with a “thump,” letting out a muffled, pained scream. Michelle looked down at the three in agony on the ground and questioned, “No one wants to FUCK me? No one? FUCK-YOU!”

“Hmph!” Like Bruce Lee, she rubbed her nose with her thumb and then kicked the Mercedes sports car, leaving a dent in the door. She uttered “A bunch of idiots” and casually walked away.

The decibels of laughter broke the record once more, and the well-dressed audience at Shuelan Theater laughed without any regard for decorum. Some film critics couldn’t contain their delight, while others seemed less impressed. Michelle Rodriguez in the front row couldn’t stop laughing either, and the people around her like Zack gave her thumbs up while laughing. Michelle was puzzled – when had she become so funny? She never knew she could be like this!

“Yang, I could’ve played that part too,” Jessica whispered into Wang Yang’s ear, her tone somewhat discontent. Wang Yang looked at her face and chuckled, “You’re too beautiful; you don’t have the rowdy confidence that the role requires.” Jessica glared at him, her voice pressed, “Are you saying I’m too ugly for it? FUCK-YOU!” Wang Yang nodded, “OK, tonight.” Unable to help but laugh, Jessica cursed playfully, “FUCK.” Wang Yang laughed, “Tonight.”

“I can’t believe I could play it like this,” Michelle thought as she looked over at Wang Yang whispering to Jessica. She had worked with directors like Karyn Kusama, Rob Cohen, and Paul Anderson on movies like “Girlfight,” “Fast & Furious,” and “Resident Evil”…

The best director was Wang Yang, two years her junior, who knew how to take control of a set. He was even-tempered but demanding, making you feel pleased and at the same time keen to meet his standards. And he always had a way to make you let loose, completely changing your mindset, and then you could perform relaxed and engrossed! Thinking about all this, Michelle smacked her lips and smiled inwardly, “Magical Yang!”

The story on the big screen continued, and so did the laughter. Shaquille O’Neal’s hilariously dramatic entrance caused many basketball fans in the audience to go into a frenzy once again as the trio figured out how to transport the tiger back to O’Neal’s manor.

“Oh my God.” Seeing the newest scene, Hans hastily covered his 12-year-old daughter Alice’s eyes and frowned, “You shouldn’t see this.” Alice futilely swatted at his hand and muttered sarcastically, “Yeah, like I don’t know already.” On the other side, Martha covered her daughter’s ears but couldn’t stop laughing herself.

“Look, guys, I’m FUCKING a tiger!” The monochrome surveillance camera showed Bradley thrusting at the tiger’s behind, while the other equally inebriated guys wobbled and laughed. Bradley kept thrusting, laughing maniacally, “Oh, oh, oh!”

“Pfft—!” When Natalie saw this scene, the popcorn she just put in her mouth spewed out everywhere. She pounded her thigh and began laughing hysterically, coughing and saying, “Hahahaha-cough hahaha cough ha… What’s funny? This is funny! Hahaha—” The whole auditorium was in stitches, and she looked excitedly at an audience member next to her, laughing and exclaiming, “MAN, this is funny! Too stupid!”

Before, there had been tired and vulgar slapstick like mooning, a baby peeing on Zack’s face, etc., but paired with the music, previous details, and the expressions, they could make anyone cry with laughter! Suddenly, she remembered a comment she read on Wang Yang’s blog: “MY’s mooning will set it apart!” Then she wickedly thought, “His butt on display would be even funnier!”

“Natalie Portman?!” The white male beside her was quite surprised, now realizing she looked a lot like Juno. Natalie glanced at him and replied disdainfully in a shrill voice, “Is she as pretty as me? Laughable!” At this moment, another hilarious moment happened on the screen, and she burst into laughter again as popcorn spilled from the overturned bucket all over her seat.

“`

The white male student looked at her confusedly—she clearly had the visage of Natalie Portman, it had to be her! But could Natalie really behave like this? He suddenly wondered if he had mistaken her for someone else?

“Be there by nine o’clock tomorrow morning, with the money, by the big rock in the Mojave Desert, or else…” On the big screen, Michelle Rodriguez, clad in black leather, looked fiercely out from atop a black Humvee, speaking harshly to Bradley and the others, “You’re all dead! Bitches!” Bradley and his companions had no chance to respond before the window began to rise slowly, and Michelle gave them the middle finger, lifting it as the window ascended.

To earn enough money to ransom Doug, the trio decided to count cards at the casino while playing blackjack. Amidst the intense, high-pitched “ohh ohh ohh” shouts and thumping background music, Bradley and Zack, both dressed in white suits, stood side by side on the escalator—Zack clasping his hands with a vacant expression, Bradley quiet and serious as the escalator descended slowly.

“Ahahaha——” Many of the older viewers and seasoned movie fans in the auditorium burst into laughter, while some others felt a bit baffled—was this scene really that funny? Seeing her friend sweating from laughter, Kelly asked Eve, “What’s so funny about this?” Evelyn chuckled intermittently, “Rain Man! Haven’t you seen Rain Man? Haha, it’s hilarious!”

The entire scene, with its soundtrack and camera work, parodied Rain Man, and the impressions by Bradley and Zack of Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman were spot-on, yet here they elicited uproarious laughter. Those who had seen and remembered Rain Man were nearly insane with laughter, but those who hadn’t just thought it was amusing without fully appreciating the comedic value.

At the gambling table, Zack was still vacant-faced, silently mouthing numbers as symbols popped up around him and the chips piled higher. Bradley pushed a large stack of chips forward, pointed at the dealer, and shouted to those around him, “Come on, people, bet! He can’t afford to lose, he can’t afford to lose!”

Dressed like an upscale businessman, Ed confidently said to the dealer, “I don’t know who you are, but I have to say, you’re finished.” A dark-haired Asian man beside him also pushed his chips in, excitedly saying, “FUCK, I’m all in!”

Seeing himself on the screen, Wang Yang couldn’t help but laugh. Naturally, sitting down to count cards at a table wasn’t really a way to win money, but that didn’t hinder Rain Man from becoming a classic, nor The Hangover from being hilarious. As for real professional card counting, that was better left to MIT-21-TEAM! Jessica patted his hand and said with a chuckle, “Yang, you’re too cool, you don’t have the aura of a gambler.” Wang Yang shrugged and smiled, “Thank you.”

The “ohh ohh” shouts and thumping continued, as Zack appeared indifferent. He glanced into the distance and saw a large roulette wheel. Placing a hand over the cards on the table, he murmured, “Twenty points.” The dealer dealt another card and, indeed, it was a 10+J. Laughter erupted again in the dimly lit auditorium, with many wiping tears from their eyes—the roulette wheel and twenty points still satirizing Rain Man.

“Hahaha——!” Rachel was laughing so hard that she was nearly drooling. But she knew things were going south for her; the number of times she had laughed at The Hot Chick wasn’t even a third of The Hangover. But that wasn’t the issue, because The Hangover had many more laugh-out-loud moments than any other comedy film.

The problem was that after seeing this movie, when she thought back to the jokes in The Hot Chick, they just didn’t seem as funny…

In the big screen, sports cars raced through the desert, giving the audience a momentary break for their facial muscles. Rachel sipped her lips, feeling happy for Wang Yang, but also a bit helpless: “I’m going to blow it this time!” The only consolation was that she thought not just The Hot Chick would bomb, but other comedies in the holiday season would also be shredded to bits by The Hangover.

She couldn’t imagine that this year there’d be a funnier movie than what was playing in front of her? The closest contender was one that was comically intense.

“How could it not be funny?” The film critic row at the Xuelan Theater, and Bessie Sharkey, a columnist for the Los Angeles Times, also felt her cheeks tiring, pressing them with a massage. The story was foolishly extravagant, with exaggerated and bizarre antics, but if it wasn’t funny, then what movie was? As for the miraculous Yang, she could only describe him as insane; in less than six months, he caused heart-wrenching pain but also laughter so intense it cramped one’s stomach…

Unbelievable! Bessie Sharkey sighed.

※※

PS: I need monthly tickets! Thank you! Wow, I updated a total of 196,738 words in July, averaging about 6300 words per day, and haven’t missed an update in a month and a half, a self-congratulation is in order ^0^. This month Wow will continue striving for perfect attendance, so please give Wow some energy to be even more vigorous! Monthly tickets, recommendation tickets, thank you! ^0^. Also, for those who haven’t ordered Chapter 56, please help out and order it, let’s hit 10,000 orders together!