Slumrat Rising

Vol. 3 Chap. 90 Country Cousins

Truth wasn’t afraid to admit he had a type when it came to women- “Women who are interested in me.”

His number one, no question, highest rated feature he looked for in a woman was her interest in him. Everything else fell into the vague reaches of the “nice to have” category.

That being said, after Etenesh’s affection and getting hit on by a significant number of people, he was willing to widen his eyes a bit. Really consider what, if he was being picky, he found desirable.

He was humbled to realize he had really basic taste. Shamefully pedestrian. He had sex with the embodiment of God’s Consort in all her heavenly glory, and he still had “Jeon Casual” level desires.

One dark night, he realized that he had a tiny crush on the model from the old Starbrite billboard, the lady getting her golden bat cigarette lit by the handsome Starbrite man. She did things for him, even after all these years. He would have to broaden his tastes.

The receptionist here was outside his comfort zone at the moment. She was a little heavy for him. In the sense that she was packing more muscle under that blouse than he had under his shirt.

Is she… sniffing the air? I should be unnoticable regardless of the sense used, right?

>

Incisive disagreed. Truth hopped back, then ducked almost flat as the heavy desk went flying across the room. Truth spotted her foot on an alarm button. Wards went up, sealing the room. Locking them in here, together.

Bad move lady. I don’t know how you sensed me but- HOLY SHIT!

Truth dodged left, barely ahead of the halberd the receptionist had summoned from a hidden recess in the floor. She pulled it back for a lunge as he slammed into the warded wall. Truth kicked off from the wall, launching himself forward to get inside the halberd’s range.

In his defense, he had never trained on halberds. Getting close seemed like a reasonable idea. The weighted butt of the halberd whipped up at his face, as the receptionist spun. He slipped right, straight into the path of the oncoming ax head on the other end of the shaft.

Alright, no such thing as a safe range when dealing with a halberd. Fuck it. Hard way it is.

He swayed back just enough to let the ax head whip past, then caught the shaft just behind the hook. He yanked forward, driving his boot directly into her gut. It was like trying to yank a concrete pillar, then kicking the same pillar “in the gut.” It rated a grunt, and a creeping smile from the receptionist.

She kicked right back. Truth blocked the kick with a raised shin. Neither of them minded the pain, but the receptionist used the moment to capitalize on his lack of balance, tearing back control of the halberd.

Truth called the Tongue to hand. It fairly hummed with disapproval. The receptionist’s grin widened. She snapped the halberd back around in a sweep at Truth’s legs. Truth stomped down on the haft, jamming the head into the floor. Continuing the motion, he lunged forward, tip aimed directly between her eyebrows. She rocked back, then with a grunt, lifted Truth and halberd alike up and out of the ground, slamming truth into the ceiling.

He should have just punched right through the concrete. It was warded. His head slammed hard, then he bounced back towards the floor. The receptionist had recovered enough for a one handed lunge, spear tip drilling for his navel. The Tongue slapped the broad steel head away, the angelic blade screeching as it ran along the spelled metal.

She wanted to throw him around? Two can play at that game. He grabbed the haft again, noting her grin. She was confident in her muscles. So was he. Truth lifted her off the ground and whipped her and the halberd both into the wall. Then did it a second time for luck. Then a third time. He needed a lot of luck. He was going for a fourth time, but she got her feet planted and pushed forward.

Truth slid backwards, losing his leverage on the long wooden haft. So far, neither had taken much damage. The room was pretty torn up, but other than a little light bashing around, neither was the worse for wear. He frowned. This couldn’t go on. Sooner or later, the receptionist’s friends would turn up.

“Cast a spell. Go on. Every time I see one of you little mages get in a jam, you reach for a spell. Go on. Try it. It will be funny.” The receptionist’s voice was deep and warm. And hungry.

Actually… This fight should have been over almost instantly. He reached out with Incisive… ah. It was still running, still there. Just muted. Weakened a great deal, by whatever enchantment was on this room. It would be down to the permanent improvements granted by the Meditations, his own skill, and his platonic life partner, The Tongue of One Who Speaks For God.

He flicked his wrist, spinning the blade around. Just keeping loose. “Behold, the signature spell of my house.” He kicked a bit of shattered desk up into her eyes and charged in, going for a stab to the gut.

She laughed and headbutted the bit of flying wood, never taking her eyes off him. She got the spear head lined up with his chest, trying to skewer him with the force of his own charge. He tried to push past, but this time she twisted the halberd and pulled it back towards her, trying to catch him with the hook. He swore and ducked, stabbing down at her foot. He could see her trying to get it out of the way- she was fast enough. But her weight was too far forward, she hadn’t recovered well from the lunge.

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Truth drew first blood, sinking the Tongue clean through her foot. He paid for it, though. The wicked hook on the back of the halberd dragged along his back, digging a bloody furrow.

“Tough little bastard. That should have had your spine out, or snapped your ribs.”

Truth didn’t bother with a reply. He got his shoulder down and slammed into her. And slammed right off of her. Her right foot had a hole three fingers wide through it. Her left foot was apparently enough to keep her as firmly planted as a tree. He gained a whole new respect for her when she whipped that broken foot up and at his temple, using the butt of the halberd to help stabilize her. The toe of her practical flats just grazed the side of his head. Truth swore he could feel hair sliced away by the force of its passing.

Her leg was up high, her hands were on the halberd, the tongue was out of position but he did have a free hand… he punched her directly in the crotch. She grunted at that, narrowed her eyes and brought her heel down in a vicious ax kick. Truth stepped out of range, then flinched. The damage to his back was worse than he thought. He could feel his muscles weakening. Tearing, as they were put under unsupported strain.

They took a moment to breathe. Then they lunged back at each other. The receptionist jabbing with the spear point of her halberd, trying to keep range. Truth trying to use his mobility to get around it before the damage got too bad. She knew it too. The halberd gave her enough reach to sweep a third of the waiting room, but it meant that getting too close to a wall, or worse, the corner, would limit her badly.

Truth narrowed his eyes, as he kept probing her, kept up the pressure. She would be limited to almost pure defense in the corner… but so what? She had sealed the room. Presumably, help was on the way. The fight was moving fast. It wasn’t surprising that no one else had arrived yet. So why wasn’t she playing for time?

She fainted at his eyes, then hacked down at his shoulder. Truth got both hands on the Tongue and parried the blow to the side. He let the flat of his blade land on the spell hardened haft of the halberd and lunged in. Her guard was too good to go straight for a killing blow? He’d take her fingers off, then.

Her eyes widened as she figured it out. She yanked the halberd back and across her body, knocking the sword off but opening herself up to a vicious elbow. She countered with one of her own, hard enough to snap Truth’s head back. Truth showed his approval by stamping his foot down on hers, right on the hole his sword left. Hard enough to shatter concrete. For the first time in the fight, she gave a small shriek. Then snarled and tried to bite off his ear.

Truth opted for a draw cut instead of the body mod, bringing the Tongue slashing up towards her throat. She opted to take a page from his book- the receptionist dropped the halberd and grabbed his arms. She went for a throw, and Truth went with it. He used the added momentum to get under her and tried to gut her.

She was a better wrestler than she was with the polearm. She got her long legs around his knees and started working for a disarm. She wasn't shy about throwing elbows where she could, too. Truth grinned nastily, and unsummoned the Tongue. In the moment of confusion, he slammed his forehead into her nose, breaking it. She growled and punched him in the kidney hard enough that he knew he’d be pissing blood tonight.

Truth just loved being punched in the kidney. He loved it so damn much he dropped his right hand like he was going to return the favor, and called the Tongue back into it. And jammed it clean through her side. She did scream at that. And again, when he leveraged the blade against her spine, slicing her almost in half.

“I YIELD!”

Truth had never been big on taking surrenders. He had the blade up and ready to come down and collect her head but… held.

“What do I get if you yield? Compared to the advantage I get for permanently silencing you?”

“I can help you get whatever you were going to break in for. I can provide you with considerable information, should you be after that. I should also mention that killing me will irreversibly mark your soul, triggering a planet wide blood hunt.” Her hazel eyes were wide, pupils dilated. Truth noticed that she wasn’t bleeding as much as he would expect. Actually, she was a lot less… almost completely paralyzed and near death than he would expect. Something about the shape of her eyes…

“Are those your actual eyes? I mean, the color?”

She paused, then smiled. “No. But changing them back takes a special potion.”

“Ah. What’s your relationship with Remu Anakson?”

“He’s my older brother.” Her smile morphed into a grin. “He do something to piss you off?”

“Not that I know of. Or at least, not intentionally. Hmm.” Truth was stumped. “Do you know what business your family has with MegaShroom?”

Her eyes widened. “Ah. You really aren’t here to fuck around.”

“No, not as such. Assuming I let you live, you will be coughing up some fairly sizable, “Family is more than just unhappy” sized secrets. Death is always an option, if you prefer. I assumed I would be searching through files anyhow.”

She gave him a hard look. Really looked over his body. “I can barely see you, you know? And I can see through damn near anything. It’s like you are screaming “I’m not really here,” thinking it will mean I don’t see you.”

“So just looking like something else, say a janitor, would be a more effective disguise?”

“As long as you weren’t wearing a false mustache.”

“I am clean shaven.”

“Shame. I love a beard. Big beard, not little goatee thing. Shaved head, long, well oiled beard, and a cut physique.”

“Hmm. Super. Good to know. Jeon must be pure hell on your dating life. On the subject of you revealing everything before your organs fall out or I just behead you and send your big bro a very special present…”

“We are planning to take over the planet after the collapse of… call it traditional magic. At least, as you understand it. Well, taking it over is a little more dramatic than what we have planned. Say… we intend to be the single power on the planet that matters.”

“Called it.”

“You don’t sound surprised.”

“I’m not. What are you using MegaShroom for?”

“You… aren’t one of my cousins or something are you?” She very subtly flexed her foot. Not subtly enough. Truth cut through the quad muscles at the top of her leg, then did the same on the other leg before she had a chance to scream.

“I am genuinely impressed by your regeneration. Your nose has already straightened too. Congrats on being able to walk again. On the other hand, “Head in box” time is only getting closer.”

“Damn! Fucking OW! Yes, alright, what else would we use a bunch of scammy farmers for? Their tech will work in a post collapse environment, and we can harvest their management for… seeds. We’re farming the farmers.” She looked up at him, her face twisting into an odd, predatory smile. “My name is Sarah, by the way. And, just trying my luck here, are you single?”