Chapter 169 - What She Wants To Hear
~ SASHA ~
She'd forgotten how wonderful Zev was. Or rather, she'd been convinced in the years that they were apart that she'd somehow fooled herself. That he wasn't really as sweet and open as she remembered. That she was putting rosy glasses on whenever she thought back. That he had to have been less… perfect.
But here they were and he didn't even know he was fulfilling every dream she'd had as a little girl.
Oh, not the dirty dress and dancing on cold, frozen ground. Not the audience of strange, male eyes—some uninterested, others confused or angry. And not the bonfire and threatening cold. None of those things fit the picture she'd had of her wedding.
But Zev… Zev looming over her, his eyes soft and twinkling, fixed on hers without shadow or guile. The smile on his handsome face that pressed lines into his cheeks. The gentle vibration of his chest when he spoke. The love in his voice, and in his eyes… that was right out of the fairytale books, and she was stunned.
She wished he wasn't still pale and a little clammy. She wished he wasn't bleeding under the dressing they'd packed on his side. She wished he didn't wince if she squeezed him wrong. But the truth was, none of that really mattered.
This was happening. Somehow, impossibly, they were here, together, and alive. And they were about to go on some kind of strange honeymoon. She was finally going to get him alone and without interruption… That glowing heat began lower in her belly.
Either he smelled how much she wanted him, or she'd given him the eyes, because he kissed her again, suddenly. Sasha's heart began to race and she arched into him. Zev dropped both hands to her lower back and pulled her in tight and she gasped.
"How long until we can leave?" she asked breathlessly.
Zev dropped his chin to kiss under her jaw. "No more than an hour… once the feast is done. And you've given them a speech."
Sasha groaned and tipped her head to give him better access as he played his lips down her neck. Then her eyes caught on the males—most of them no longer eating. "It seems like they're mostly done. Does it really have to be a whole hour?"
"Let's make it half," he rasped, then pulled his head up, his air mussed from her fingers and falling in his eyes.
Desire jangled through her veins at the look in his eyes and she stopped breathing. They stared at each other for a long moment, neither of them smiling.
Then Sasha swallowed. "Are you sure we can't go now?"
Zev grinned. "You need to talk to them first. To lay down some ground rules."
"Me?" she squeaked. "Zev, you can't really think that I'm going to—"
"Sash, listen to me. This isn't a choice. You understand? You took Alpha by killing the former Alpha. It isn't a matter of whether you can. You already have. If you waver. If you show uncertainty… they'll eat each other alive trying to figure out who's taking your place. This isn't just happening, it's necessary."
"But… I'm not even Chimera!"
"You are when you're mated to me," he said, and his voice dropped low, that simmer o promise in them.
Sasha swallowed hard. "What kind of ground rules?" she asked breathlessly.
Zev smiled. "Who's in charge. Things for them to do while their Alpha is gone."
Ugh. How would she know what Chimera should be doing? She didn't even know how to take care of herself in this world! But before she could get buried in the fear of it, Zev shook his head.
"We can do this, Sash," he whispered, touching her face with gentle fingertips. "You will lead, and I'll help you. Together… we're better together. They'll see it. This is going to work. It might not be easy, and I know it's not what you dreamed when you thought about getting married. But we can do this."
"You don't get it," she whispered back. "The dreams were always about you, Zev. The rest… the rest is just gravy."
Zev tilted his head, his smile rising. "Gravy? The food?"
Sasha giggled. "Yes. The thing you pour over, that makes everything else better. But it's not the real meal."
"So… I get to be the meal?" he said, his eyebrows up.
Sasha snorted and was going to give him some kind of smart-ass response when he turned her in their swaying and started dancing her back to the tree they'd been sitting on.
Sasha felt more eyes landing on them as they drew closer to the fire, but Zev acted like they weren't even there.
He leaned into her ear, his lips teasing her earlobe and sending goosebumps down her back.
"First piece of advice," he whispered. "An Alpha never asks permission to go anywhere, or do anything. You take whatever seat you want. Whatever food you like. And you move when you choose to move," he whispered. "You don't do it to be an asshole. You do it because it's what's required of your position. It makes them feel safer to see you do it."
All the warm and fuzzy feelings she'd been wallowing in bled out of her like air from a slow leak in a balloon.
"Zev, I can't be an Alpha!"
"Yes, you can," he said firmly. "And more importantly, you already are. So take what's yours, Sasha. Tell them what you want them to do while we're gone. Don't ask. Don't apologize. Just tell them who will be in charge while we're gone, and who to send if they need to find us."
"But," her heart stuttered in alarm, "I don't know what they need to do!"
They reached the tree trunk, and Zev drew her to a halt, but his hands were still on her arms and he stared down at her with adoring eyes.
"You know what you want," he said. "Just tell them."
Sasha snorted. "Tell them what? Not to fight or tell the humans anything while we're gone?"
"Yes," he said simply. "Tell them how you believe they should conduct themselves. Who you leave in charge. And how you want to find them when you come back."
"But—"
"Sash," he whispered, leaning into her ear, "if you do this, we can leave," he said, his voice simmering with promise.