Chapter 157 - Ritual - Part 5
~ SASHA ~
Sasha was stunned by the strength and beauty of these men—and their boldness in declaring both Zev's issues, and their own strengths by contrast.
She hadn't thought their words would impact her feelings for Zev, or made her waver. And they weren't. Not exactly. She still chose Zev, she still had no interest in these other males.
But something about hearing those flaws—feeling the tiny needles sliding into bleeding wounds in her mind and heart… the fears… It was more than uncomfortable. It made her shaky. Not about her goal for the day, but about what the future held.
She feared, that was the pure truth. She feared losing Zev again—by his choice. Deceived or not, he had left her under his own steam. No one had kidnapped him, or held a gun to his head.
After she shook her head and Rowsan and denied him twice, she barely saw or heard the males that followed him, her head spinning with images of the morning she'd woken up and been unable to find Zev, or get him to answer his phone.
The morning he'd disappeared like smoke through her fingers.
Then the males moved as someone else stepped forward and she caught sight of him. Zev. Standing back, behind the crowd, his eyes pained and face in a mask of determination. Dunken stood next to him, one hand on his chest, shaking his head. Zev's lips moved. They were talking. But his eyes never left hers.
Then his voice appeared in her head.
I love you, Sasha. Never forget it. I will never leave you again. No matter what.
She sucked in a breath, praying it was true, and then their sight of each other was broken by the tall man that stepped between them. He looked older than the others who'd stepped up so far. Still young, but his face slightly more weathered, his brown hair dark and eyes gray. She guessed he was around thirty and carried the air of a man who was in his prime—but steady with it.
"Sasha," he rumbled after his bow, and his voice was like a purr. Sasha swallowed. "My name is Keyden. I welcome you to the mountains of Thana—where I walk surefooted, and strong, in the Ibex Clan."
Oddly, while the others had stripped their clothes with an air of anticipation, Keyden started on his own buttons as if he barely noticed he were doing it. And he spoke of his life as a hunter—declaring himself a male able to provide, but one who returned to the village every night—who would welcome a female to hold and mate, a partner to meet the world.
He'd given her a little more space than the others and it wasn't until he was stripped naked, his eyes locked on hers, that he slipped closer.
"The male you have chosen is a good male. A leader, and one with heart. I do not regret his return to Thana. But you have been the victim—as have I—of his youth and relative innocence. Falling to deception and leaving the rest of us harmed by it. He had no intention, I am certain. But I am grown. A male—a man, as your clan would put it. Savvy to the world, and certain of my priorities."
Then he dropped his voice to barely above a whisper. "Choose me, Sasha. I will give you a life of peace—not uncertainty. And I have held myself true to the matebond. I have not taken a female. We will learn the beauties of the mating together. You need never fear I could form the bond with another. You need never worry that my eyes would be turned from you."
The words dropped like cold blades in her heart as she heard what he wasn't saying.
Zev has done these things before, with many women.
Zev knows what he's doing because he's done it so much.
Zev's shared himself, and taken what they offered.
Zev will always have memories of others—might desire others because he wasn't as restricted as the other Chimera.
Sasha shook her head against the images that sprang into her mind—Zev curled up, stroking another women the way he'd stroked her. Calling another woman's name, his face open and overwhelmed with pleasure.
Zev, sharing his body with—
Sasha whimpered and turned her head away from the male who was leaning in, making his words just for her, his voice tantalizing and sweet, a low, warm rumble of… of toxic questions.
"Someone of your beauty and strength of heart deserves better, Sasha," the male said earnestly. He didn't smile as if he was taking a stab at Zev. He didn't snarl as if he were trying to right a wrong. He stated a simple fact, and she could feel his eyes on her face. "Let me show you how a male should hold himself for his mate. Let me show you how I have held myself for you."
Sasha blinked then as he drew his finger—oh so gently—along her jaw, urging her to lift her chin and meet his eyes again.
And when she did—wide-eyed, and horrified—he gave her gentle smile. "You deserve better," he whispered, then he began to dance.
She didn't know what was different about this man, why his dance moved her in a way the others hadn't. But he was a beautiful man who poured himself into the expression, and Sasha was stunned by the rippling strength of his body threw himself around the space in front of her, his movements graceful and powerful and… somehow mindful of making love. And all the while, his eyes stroked her and made promises she didn't want from him.
Promises she only wanted from Zev.
Sasha swallowed hard, but couldn't take her eyes off of him, her belly beginning to tingle. Not because she wanted him, but because the way he moved reminded her of… of that afternoon… with Zev.
The males behind him became restless and Kyelle cleared her throat.
Sasha blinked, then realized what she was doing—allowing herself to become aroused—and she immediately found Zev with her eyes.
He stared at her, his eyes wide and forehead furrowed.
He looked terrified, and grieved.
It struck her then, that no matter how much they loved each other—no matter how much he loved her—she would always be afraid.
Don't, Sasha, he pleaded in her head. Don't let them make you question me. I love you!
But that was the problem. She didn't question what he wanted.
She questioned whether she could ever overcome where they'd already been.