Chapter 181: The More You Care, the More You Fear
Guanhai, of course, wouldn't refuse Yang Haoran's request, especially when it was just a matter of keeping something safe. He had no reason to decline.
"Don't worry, I'll make sure to keep it safe for you. Whatever you give me, it'll be the same when you come back. There won't be any changes," Guanhai assured, despite his drunken appearance.
Yang Haoran naturally trusted Guanhai's words. They had been friends for many years.
After telling Guanhai the password, Yang Haoran added, "If I don't come to retrieve the box within ten days, open it. Inside, there are methods to help me escape."
Yang Haoran's tone was serious, causing Guanhai to become slightly less intoxicated and a bit more worried.
"What are you going to do? It sounds like this trip is quite dangerous," Guanhai asked.
Yang Haoran shook his head with a smile and replied, "There's no major danger, but minor troubles are inevitable. I've made some preparations for safety's sake."
Although Yang Haoran's smile seemed natural, Guanhai sensed a hint of concern beneath it. However, Yang Haoran's explanation gradually eased Guanhai's worries.
"You're still the same cautious person. Nothing has changed," Guanhai remarked.
Yang Haoran smiled but didn't say anything. However, deep inside, he couldn't help but sigh because what he said to Guanhai at this moment was mostly false.Indeed, the metal password box contained very important things. Yang Haoran had stored all his important belongings inside it. He wasn't deceiving Guanhai about this.
It was true that if he didn't return within ten days, he wanted Guanhai to open the box.
As for leaving Lecheng for some task and the lack of danger in it, those were lies.
After handing over the metal password box to Guanhai, he had no intention of retrieving it. The reason was simple: after tonight, he might dissipate into oblivion, with no chance of coming back for the box.
Though he was aware of this, he needed to make arrangements before his death. He couldn't let his hard-earned treasures become someone else's belongings or remain buried forever.
Inside the metal password box were his collections obtained from Master Jiang: talisman techniques, ghost expulsion methods, soul enchantment spells, bank cards, his parents' spirit tablets, and a letter – more accurately, a farewell letter.
Yang Haoran decided to leave all his savings in the bank cards to Guanhai. He hoped Guanhai would take care of his parents' spirit tablets.
The books on talisman techniques were intended for Xu Meijing and Wang Yiming. If Guanhai wished to learn, he could make copies.
In fact, Guanhai was doing well now, so Yang Haoran thought it would be good for him to live an ordinary life.
Moreover, although Guanhai knew about his special abilities, he never asked Yang Haoran to teach him, indicating a lack of interest in this aspect.
So, the books in the metal password box were mainly for Wang Yiming and Xu Meijing.
However, Yang Haoran considered the possibility of misjudgment. If Guanhai had always been interested in these mystical techniques but was too embarrassed to ask for instruction, he might secretly desire them. Hence, Yang Haoran explicitly stated in his farewell letter that if Guanhai wanted to learn, he could copy the books and secrets left behind.
While alive, Yang Haoran didn't share the book containing talisman techniques with Wang Yiming because he didn't want unnecessary trouble. But after his death, it would be different.
Although Xu Meijing claimed disinterest in these books and secrets, Yang Haoran suspected it might be out of politeness. After all, she had taken an entire soul gathering bead previously. Since she seemed reluctant to accept, he would give them to her willingly. Whether she decided to practice them was entirely up to her.
Tonight, when Yang Haoran came to see Guanhai, besides bidding farewell, his main purpose was to arrange things for the future, all detailed in the farewell letter.
After Guanhai took the metal password box, Yang Haoran left the bar, declining Guanhai's invitation to go elsewhere for another drink.
Back in his car, Yang Haoran felt dizzy. He took out his mobile phone and quickly dialed a number.
It was evident that this number held great significance to him, especially the person associated with it, as he remembered it so well.
The number belonged to none other than Xu Meijing – the proud, disdainful woman who he had once detested.
Though he was familiar with the number, he hesitated to press the dial button, his expression conflicted and tangled.
Reluctantly, he had to admit that, despite his unwillingness to believe it, his aversion towards Xu Meijing had vanished, replaced by some positive feelings.
He had assumed that with Xu Meijing's departure, these peculiar feelings would diminish over time. But to his surprise, they only grew stronger with time.
Although Yang Haoran harbored a special fondness for Xu Meijing, he was a rational person, so he wasn't swayed by this intense affection.
He was well aware that his feelings towards Xu Meijing were one-sided, a mere infatuation on his part. He had no idea about her feelings towards him.
Some people were like this – the more they cared, the more afraid they were of losing, hence they dared not speak up. They feared that speaking up might not yield the desired outcome, or worse, it could backfire and worsen the situation. Thus, they preferred to remain silent to maintain the friendship.
Yang Haoran was evidently one of these people.
In Yang Haoran's mind, he always felt an immense gap between himself and Xu Meijing, whether it was in appearance, status, or power. This disparity was like an insurmountable sea, making him feel pressured as he couldn't see an end to it.
Some say that social status compatibility destroys many relationships, and Yang Haoran believed there was some truth to it.
While initially, the mismatch in status might not seem problematic, over time, it could lead to many issues.
Though "social status compatibility" typically referred to family backgrounds, for Yang Haoran, the vast disparity in strength and status between him and Xu Meijing constituted a mismatch.
Because of this, he hesitated to take the next step and felt compelled to relentlessly improve himself.
Presently, he still felt that he lacked any shine in Xu Meijing's eyes. Why would she even look at him?
Therefore, if he took that step, he might not get the outcome he desired and could potentially ruin his future.
Of course, these were merely Yang Haoran's personal speculations and perspectives, not necessarily shared by everyone else.
Perhaps it was because he overthought things, unlike Guanhai, who was more carefree in such matters, that Yang Haoran remained single.
With a slightly intoxicated face, Yang Haoran lit a cigarette and held his mobile phone, his expression struggling and hesitating.
He knew very well that if he didn't take that step tonight, he might never get the chance again in the future. But he was ultimately too cowardly, too hesitant. After much deliberation, he decided not to take that step, wanting to leave himself a glimmer of hope, a bit of fantasy before his death. He didn't want to leave this world with despair and disappointment.
As long as he didn't take that step, he wouldn't suffer any setbacks, and the tiny thread of hope in his heart wouldn't be shattered. This hope, at least, could provide him with some imaginary space.
Although he decided not to take that step, he sent a message to Xu Meijing, fueled by alcohol.
This time, instead of the usual casual inquiries like "What are you doing?" or "Are you busy?", he asked a single question: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
These few words seemed to carry a thousand pounds of weight, making him feel suffocated. After hesitating for half a day, he gritted his teeth and pressed the send button with trembling fingers.
After successfully sending the message, his heart raced, as if he were a thief caught by the owner.
Yang Haoran had thought that by asking such a sensitive question, Xu Meijing, with her personality, would likely ignore it or be too busy to reply. However, to his surprise, right after sending the message, he received an immediate reply.
Yang Haoran couldn't contain his excitement as he opened the message. Xu Meijing's reply was only two shorter words: "I don't."
A faint smile appeared on his face. Driven by alcohol, Yang Haoran typed out a few more words and sent them.
"Why don't you look for one?"
Just as simple and straightforward as before. However, Xu Meijing's response this time made Yang Haoran's smile freeze.
"Any man who actively approaches me disappears, so I'd rather not look. Besides, I'm not interested in ordinary men. Being single is fine."
After a while, Yang Haoran replied with a bitter smile.
"Yeah, being single is fine. Free and easy, no fuss or bother."
"Why did you suddenly ask this?" Xu Meijing inquired.
"Hehe, just a bit curious, purely out of curiosity."
"Keep your curiosity to yourself, and remember not to get too close to me, or you might disappear one day."
[Heartfelt thankyou for the support! BokuBoku]