Protagonist?Antagonist? I Reject Both

Chapter 158 158:Leon And Irina[III]

When Leon came to his senses, he was stupefied seeing the woman who was his mother clinging desperately to his legs.

It was a sight he didn't want to see. Seeing the body's mother get on his knees, he feels quite uncomfortable.

Not that he was soft, but if it was anyone else or someone he could kill, Leon couldn't give a damn cause some crimes can't be forgiven but he was a bit efficient in dealing with melodramatic situations with memory distortion hitting him in the middle but that didn't mean they can go back to square one.

Taking a moment, Leon decided to do something that could break away from this situation.

His sharp eyes and play glint started at Irina.

"Can you do that? A moment ago you were saying things like you can do anything so why don't you kill yourself? It will sincerely ease my pain."

Leon grinned trying to put up a fake smile.

Irina stared at the dagger before her and then at Leon, with bewilderment. Her gaze rotated between the two.

With trembling hands, she reached toward the dagger muttering softly.

"Will you forgive me if I kill myself?"

"I guess, "Leon shrugged.

"Leon!"Irina muttered softly.

Irina's voice choked as knelt before her son, tears streaming down her cheeks as she pleaded for forgiveness. Her heart felt heavy with regret, every word choked with the weight of her past mistakes.

As she looked into her son's eyes, she saw only a cold, emotionless gaze from Leon, his eyes were seemingly impenetrable. There wasn't even the slightest fluctuation in it.

The pain of his indifference cut deep, leaving her feeling utterly helpless and desperate for any sign of warmth or understanding from him.

"UHHHH!'

Irina's groaning sobs echoed in the silence of the place, each tear evidence of the years of pain and regret she carried in her heart.

Her voice cracked as she poured out her soulful cry, begging for a chance to make amends, to bridge the gap that had grown between them.

Getting up, she walked forward, extending her reach out to touch her son.

"Please…"

But Leon stepped away evading her touch and she was met with a frigid wall of indifference, his gaze like ice, unmoved by her tears and pleas.

At that moment, the weight of her remorse bore down on her, crushing her spirit as she wrestled with the realization of how deeply she had wounded her flesh and blood.

"Why Leon….Why?"

"Why don't you try to understand my view and my plight?"

Every word she spoke felt inadequate, every gesture falling short in the face of his strict resolve.

She longed to turn back time, to undo the mistakes that had driven them apart, but the past remained stubbornly immutable, taunting her with its unyielding grip.

As she knelt before him, her heart ached with the agony of the loss of the bond they once shared, the loss of the son she feared she may never truly know again.

Previously, amidst the despair, a glimmer of hope flickered faintly. She thought that fragile ember of love would be lit again if she begged him.

For deep down, beneath the layers of pain and resentment, her motherly love still burned brightly, yearning for reconciliation, for redemption, for a chance to heal the wounds that tore them apart.

Gazing at him she questioned herself again.

Why?

Just why was the world so cruel to her?

She doesn't like men yet the one she finally fell in love with used her stepping stone to success and cheated on her.

Her son and daughters were the apples of her eye but due to someone's manipulation, she even lost them.

And worse of all, her father knew that her memories were distorted but was helpless to do anything if he acted this might lead to her death so despite this, he was forced to watch his family torn apart unable to do anything.

Manipulated, distorted, and used by an unknown, she unknowingly hurt everyone she loved.

She was the cause of everyone's suffering and grievance.

Just how was this her fault? How can she fight someone who is much much stronger than her and use her as a pawn to achieve something?

Someone who she didn't even know and was powerless to resist.

It was a totally cruel fate that she had to suffer the misunderstanding and hated being unable to even prove her innocence.

And despite all the obstacles, she somehow manages to regain her sanity and true memories.

Finally,she manages to free herself and reach here.

But now that he met him, she understood that some things can never be undone. Maybe she had hurt him so badly unknowingly.

"I destroyed the very thing I vowed to protect."Muttering in a dazed state Irina stared at the hands.

Leon swallowed his saliva and took a step back looking at the crazy woman.

'I don't understand many things but from her murmur, it seems she is saying she manipulated some things.'

'Something isn't right?'Leon clenched his fist tightly feeling a huge burden forced on his heart.

Ignoring Leon's complicated expression, Irina lamented and muttered to herself.

"With my own hands, I injured the precious treasure I loved. Why was I so weak and unable to see through the veil that fabricated and trapped me?"

Only realizing this, she snapped to reality and looked at Leon, she finally realized that her frail boy had grown into an outstanding individual.

Someone with low-tier veins without much potential, he had now become a Martial Lord. She didn't know how he reached here but the journey must be laden with perils.

As she gazes upon Leon, a torrent of emotions floods her mind again. She tried to imagine every moment of his journey into this world, the pain, the anguish, the uncertainty.

His gaze was a sharp reminder of the agony he endured before reaching here. She wishes she could shield him from everyone hurting him, and shade him in every struggle, but she knows that's impossible.

"I'm so sorry, my darling," she whispers, her voice barely audible in the quiet place. "I wish I could take away all your pain."

But there's no response from him.

"You're so strong," she continues, her voice trembling with emotion. "You've already been through so much, and yet here you are, standing firm and resolute. I love you more than words can say."

"You may not know but I have always loved you and even when I was messed up I still felt a corner of my heart becoming empty and void. After your father left all my memories had been frenzy and blur but I still remember the day you left. I cried to the point I passed out but when I woke up I didn't remember our bond."

Irina pauses to take a look at Leon."Do you know how agonizing it is to find a part of you missing yet you are unable to discern it? You try to remember it but you can't remember any good and precious memories.''

"I didn't remember you except for the vague memory that I just hate you without any cause. I lost everything but now that I gained those memories and understand my emptiness, I thought everything would be alright so why?"

"WHYYYYY?This is so unfair?"Irina burst out loudly.

However despite, the sadness, a smile, a lovely smile that Leon had never seen bloomed on her face.

No, it's that he hadn't seen rather it was something he had simply forgotten.

It was the smile of Mother, who hid the countless difficulties and pains, and pretended as if everything was all right, showering love on his children.

Holding the dagger, she raised it towards the sky and muttered with a voice filled with overflowing love and tenderness.

"Leon, if my death is enough to pay for your grievance then I am more than happy to die for you to be happy. But after I die, can you please meet your sister? You are the apple of their eye whom they love dearly. My mistake has torn apart you all and destroyed everything."

"I know a simple apology won't change anything and even if I didn't mean anything like this, believe me, you always had a place in my heart that was just unable to be fulfilled."

Irina then glanced at Leon with a mixture of pride and adoration. Her eyes shimmered as she took a final look at her boy who turned out to be a fine young man.

This was enough.

For now, this was enough to soothe her soul.

"If my death can lessen your pain, then if possible please visit my grave to converse if you get time."

Irina grasped the dagger tightly and then inched it closer while bidding farewell with the same smiling face.

"Take care and be happy. There would be one less person for you to hate."

"Farewell My Son!"

"My Most Precious Treasure."

SWOOSH!

...

I apologize if this is too stretchy but it was also hard for me to write an emotional scene. If you feel it's messed up, forgive me.