My Mother Has a System but Won't Use It

Yue Li's hand rested against Han Li's.

"Don't cry now, will you?"

"…"

"Everybody dies, Xiao Li," she said through deep breaths. "Everybody does."

"Mom…"

"Ah, there you go again, don't cry…"

He tightened his grip over her hand, and his tears fell.

"Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes," she held his hand as tight as she could. "Because for those who love with heart and soul, there is no such thing as separation."

Gritting his teeth gently, Han Li asked, "Who are you to teach me?"

She smiled. "I always told you to give me a baby. You would have had a piece of me with you if you did." Ruo was leaning against her from the side, and she, too, was sobbing. "At least, you are here… I am content."

"…"

"Xiao Li, sing me a poem. Tell me, would you miss me?"

"…"

To ask me if I miss her,

It would be like asking the stars if they missed the night,

Asking the sun if it missed its warmth,

Or asking the ocean if it missed the rivers that give it life.

"You know what I like to hear, huh…"

I would recognize you in total darkness.

Were you mute and I deaf,

I would recognize you in another lifetime entirely in different bodies, different times.

And I would love you in all of this,

Until the very last star burnt out to oblivion.

"Do you love her to death?"

Speak of her over my grave,

And watch how she brings me back to life.

"..."

Han Li breathed heavily.

Warm tears streaked down his cheek. He stood rooted to his spot.

His whole body was covered in blood. Every part of him was silent. War had torn him to pieces. All for what?

Blank, he sat.

Sleeping before him was the corpse of his beloved mother; she had aged far too much. Something within him shattered.

Han Li silently stood up and looked at his palm. On it was a crushed insect.

"…Ruo, I found a way to remove the Gu inside me."

Ruo felt her whole body shrink.

Her mother had died; that gentle soul who was always with her and always cared for her had died. There will no longer be any arguments she could have with her, no more sweet dishes only her mother could make. Everything seemed over.

Without touching the corpse, Han Li calmly left the room, and Ruo couldn't bring herself to move her weak body. She just laid against Yue Li.

On his way, Han Li stopped and slumped against the wall.

"…"

An old man squatted before him.

"Young man," he said somberly, "you performed well in the war. Tell me, what do you want from me? Or care tell me your sorrows?"

Han Li smiled at him. "If I tell of the sorrows of my heart, it will burn my tongue. If I keep it in my heart, I'm afraid it will burn me from the inside," tears broke and he began to tremble, "But if I let it out, I am afraid it will burn the whole world."

"…"

"Have you ever known a love that transcends reason, distance, and time?" Han Li asked, "A love so profound you could never be convinced it wasn't destined before you existed."

"I have not."

Han Li closed his eyes and his tears fell, but he didn't speak anymore.

"I have died. Even before my life ended, I have died."

Face red with sorrow, Ruo walked out of her room and leaned against the wall as she stumbled towards him. Her whole body seemed soulless as she laid down and leaned onto his chest.

"Ruo… she left us."

A Man was in shambles.

"I am here, Big Brother. I am here…" Ruo said amidst her own chokes.

How dare the heavens take from me what is mine. How dare it!

How dare the world control my destiny!

How dare it steal my mom's life!

How wonderful it would have been if all of this were just a dream. One year. I just want one year more with her. Take me back in time. Please. Something help me, please.

Please.

Please…

Suddenly, Han Li frowned, and his eyes grew strangely red. It had always been black, but somehow, it flickered, and a profound sensation of awakeness spread throughout him. He looked to his side and found the sobbing Ruo.

Immediately, his heart began to beat a little faster.

This situation. This moment.

Right after my mother's death?!

His gaze moved toward the old man in front of him, and he frowned at the unclear face. Who was this person, I do not remember. But then he looked sideways, and his heart ached at the sight of Ruo's sobs.

An illusion?

Who is casting this on me?

Ruo muttered something incoherent and clung powerfully to him. An encroaching sense of horror began to appear in Han Li's heart. Suddenly, the old man's face became immensely clear.

The War General of the Wisdom Seeking Villa. A person Han Li himself murdered in wrath after Ruo died. A good man who had done no wrong to Han Li personally.

A fearful thought echoed at the back of Han Li's mind.

Was the past few years a dream?

Was going back to the past not real?

Then, a calm heart chuckled at the thoughts.

He unconsciously chuckled in reality.

Ruo looked at him worriedly. The sight of this Ruo, the one who had walked ups and downs with him, made Han Li freeze.

He took a deep breath.

This was not real. He knew this was not real.

But did there exist a real and fake?

As long as a human experienced everything one could experience in real life inside an illusion, was it not just as real?

He turned and looked straight at Ruo.

He hugged her.

"When I had you, I never saw how much you were important to me. When I lost our mom, I was too blinded by the grief, and only when you hung yourself did I understand how much you meant."

"…Big Brother."

"Ruo. Don't worry about mom."

"Big Brot—"

"Not Mom, not you. None of us are going to die." She looked at him with fearful eyes. He comfortably kissed the woman's forehead.

"I know you are but an illusion and that you would once again vanish when I wake up. But let me live a life with you without any regrets."

Taking her hand, he returned to the room with his mother. Face still growing slightly slack with sorrow, Han Li carried her with him and left the Wisdom Seeking Villa, left the bustling city surrounding it, and withdrew from everything.