Chapter 192 - The Truth
Roselyn was curled around the toilet, throwing up for the third time in the course of two hours. John pulling her hair back as he massaged the back of her shoulders.
After the prolonged throw up she could felt the acid in her mouth and her stomach upside down. When she tried to stand up her vision blurred once again and strong cramps in her stomach forced her to sit over the floor.
"I will bring you some water," John said before speeding toward the kitchen as fastly as he could and then returning to the bathroom to handle the glass.
Roselyn slowly took it and leaned in closer to her lips, her hands were shaky and the glass seemed so heavy to carry.
After taking some sips she gazed at John. Her dark circles were so pronounced and her lips were as pale as her skin tone.
"I should do a pregnancy test." She said, heading the glass to him who placed it over the bathtub surface.
John took a long resigned breath, Roselyn's sudden sickness surely wasn't helping at all to divert her mind to think and desire a child. The symptoms were the same as pregnancy so it was quite plausible her supposition.
Yet John didn't even entertain the idea she could be pregnant, it was a fact and during the years not even a single banshee got pregnant so the chances she could actually be right and be pregnant were reduced to the minimum.
"Rose," he pinched the skin at the center of his forehead resigned and almost worn off. Every time she mentioned that matter it was like a punch in his stomach since he had to lie to her and manage to look at her in her eyes when doing that.
"did you eat something you shouldn't have eaten?" he asked, pretending to be curious and thoughtful.
If only Roselyn was more energized maybe she would have slapped him mentally and cursing him to try to avoid the matter for the umpteenth time. She shook her eyes for some seconds to collect all her patience and calm in her body. "I will ask my sister if she can help me since you seem unwilling to even talk about this matter." Roselyn burst out spitefully before marching toward the door and slamming the door behind her.
Her vision blurred even more but somehow the anger in her body motivated her to find the strength to keep walking until she reached her bed and jumped over it like a lifesaver anchor.
John reached her after few minutes and sat down over the corner of her bed, Roselyn pretended to be asleep and as she turned in bed she took the advantage to kick over his back and release some repressed anger.
A giggle escaped from John's lips before he whispered, "I know you're awake."
Roselyn scoffed and opened her eyes to sit on the bed and glower at him folding her arms.
"Alright Rose, do you want to know the truth?" John said, his voice as low as a murmur as his gaze dropped to the light sheer of the bed like if he was afraid to even look at her in the eyes.
"Yes," Roselyn replied without hesitation. John knew she would have answered yes as he knew her well enough to know she wasn't the type of person who would ignore a matter for fear.
Thousands of concerns drifted into her mind and she thought about the worse things that could have happened. Did he cheat on her? Did he find out he didn't love her enough to have kids? Or maybe he only hated kids so much that even their voice would provoke him an allergic reaction?
"The truth is you can't have children Rose." He said before taking long breathes to calm his tensed nerves and finally staring at her straight in her eyes only to try to decipher an answer.
Disbelieve and shook was all he could decipher from her wrecked gaze, she seemed confused as if she heard the oddest and unbelievable lie of all the time. Little did she know unfortunately that wasn't a lie.
"Fairies of life are destined to deal with the inability to give birth since they already can revive creatures or bring back to life nature elements." It's like a price to pay." John tried to explain himself better and Roselyn's gaze from bewildered turned into a miserable gaze.
She could feel her heart so heavy sinking inside her chest that it was almost hurting her, her breath quickened and she lost the conditions of her surroundings as all around her seemed to be blurred. All she could see was her plans being destroyed and the more she thought about it the more the voices in her head resonated. Her hands were shaking as her breath quickened, even more, her eyes were wide and staring blankly. She felt like she raised from her body to look at herself from outside, it was an awful sensation, almost like she would die all of a sudden.
Tears fell from her eyes uncontrollably yet despite her best intentions to wipe away her tears her hands weren't replying to her commands.
"Rose..." John said as he tried to hug her and shake her shoulders to wake up from her crisis. She was having a panic attack and that feeling although harmless was infinite and was quickly draining all her positive thoughts to cloud her mind with negative bad thoughts and concerns. She fully lost control over her mind.
"Rose I don't want kids. I love you so much." John whispered but his voice echoed in her mind and got lost dominated by the continuous flow of thoughts. It was like she could hear him but she couldn't answer him, she froze. Her fingers were tingling and her gaze dropped to her hands only to see that they were shaking vigorously while the heat of tears falling down her cheeks sent shivers all over her back.
"Please Rose answer me. Focus on my voice, Rose.." John said to her taking her hand and holding it before leaning in closer to his mouth to kiss it softly.