Chapter 189 - Expand The Family
"John," she said once again, this time her gaze departed to stare at the sky full of stars for some instant as if the stars would help her to find the courage to say what she was going to say. She counted the stars mentally while she counted the seconds before finally giving voice to her preoccupations.
Roselyn cleared her voice before speaking. "I was thinking... it would be a good idea to give the realm a successor and consider the option to have children sooner or later." She forced a smile.
John's eyes widened and he remained speechless for few minutes before his mind oriented in some plausible answer that would either drive her hopes up or disappoint her hurting her feelings. It was like he did know what to answer. Every answer he tried to come up with seemed too severe for Roselyn to manage to even be taken into consideration.
Roselyn's eyes were pleading for an answer and the silence was having her preoccupy so much that every second seemed infinite waiting. She tried to decipher the silence but only negative responses occurred to her mind.
To that type of statement, men should react positively as it proved their woman saw a future with them but John didn't seem happy at all, he seemed worried.
How could fight supernatural creatures risking his own life not scaring him but Roselyn admitting she would want sons in the future scared him so much?
"Answer me!" Roselyn spat as she couldn't take anymore the deafening silence.
John took a long breath, "why all of a sudden you're obsessed with having sons?" he asked.
Roselyn felt her blood boiling through her veins. What kind of answer was that? Her heart pounded heavy inside her chest as she could feel her anger crossing through her veins and creating a lump in her throat.
"I am not obsessing over that matter. It's a step normal couples do and I think it's dutiful if you're going to be the King of Scotland."
John scoffed before massaging his forehead as if he needed to recollect his thoughts and create a patter of the whole situation. The idea of confessing her the truth and tell her the real reason behind his discontent was that her supernatural nature wouldn't allow her to give birth was out of consideration.
He didn't want to make her feel guilty nor he wanted her to feel like she would ruin his future. John was so scared because he knew if she found out she wasn't able to give him a successor she would break up with him only to let him to another woman who would keep the descent.
The fight with her sister already proved to him that she would sacrifice her happiness just not to provoke his sufferance.
John was willing to get the responsibility and pretend he didn't want to have sons rather than cause her one of the worst pain. Not being able to have children was every woman's worst nightmare, a fortiori if the woman was supposed to become the Queen. The last lineages that had to experience the same inability caused many marriages to fail and created cracks in relationships that slowly caused an eventual break-up.
"I don't want to have sons now," John said, even if Roselyn expected such an answer she still felt hurt by his words.
"I am sure you will be an amazing father..." Roselyn said but even if she wanted to sound unhurt her voice was brittle. Her lips began to tremble as the lump in her throat only intensified despite her continued swallowing down. She took a long breath and tried to gaze up but every effort was in vain and her eyes in few seconds filled with tears.
"I know. And I am sure you will be an amazing mother too. But now things are perfect the way they are let's not rush things and enjoy our peace now." He said caressing her cheeks and smiling at her kindly as he walked closer.
He stroke her hair behind her ear as he smiled at her supportively. "Hey, my unwill to have children doesn't mean I don't love you or that I don't want a future with you." His husky voice made Roselyn shiver as he tossed his fingers in her hair before curling it around his long fingers.
"Alright..." Roselyn forced a smile, she knew he loved her. He proved her love for her multiple times but she was getting mixed signals from him and something was telling her there was more to discover and that he wasn't fully honest. Maybe it was only her paranoia and her overthinking but her gut feeling was telling her something was wrong about that entire situation.
John kissed her forehead so gently, that Roselyn closed her eyes to feel his lips wetting with a soft kiss so gently that her heart melted for some instant.
"Do you think our love needs to be proven by a baby?" John asked
Roselyn nodded no gazing down hinting at a smile before sighing.
"Exactly, so why bother now that we are finally happy together without someone trying to get in the middle?" John questioned kissing her cheek.
"Maybe you're right. We are happy right now." Roselyn replied, giving up on the idea she wasn't going to have a baby and she could do nothing to change his mind.
"I couldn't be happier." John whispered, "with you by my side." He continued, lifting her chin and looking down in her big eyes.
"Me too." Roselyn smiled.
She indeed was truly happy with him, their love was boundless and they finally could enjoy some time alone and in tranquility. There were no secrets to be exposed and no people who would dare to hinter their flawless relationship. Maybe she had to enjoy her time with him without adding more problems to the now-empty list.
She took a long breath and smiled at him, as he wrapped his arms around Roselyn's shoulders embracing her.