Chapter 177 - Destiny Is A Funny Thing
Maybe the thought of realizing that she lost all her family and ruined the relationship with them broke the cold wall of iciness that she used to protect herself from getting hurt. Her thoughts and preoccupations were hanging out like sheets but the wire was so thin and unstable.
She still had John and having him by her side made her happy, but she didn't want to depend on him or to have only him in her life.
"I see that face again..." John said recognizing the thoughtful expression she had. He disliked when women had that blank thoughtful gaze because it always led them to make hasty choices, but if it was other women he didn't care. He didn't want Roselyn to let her overthinking get the best over her and lead her to do things she would eventually regret.
"What are you thinking?" John asked and Roselyn sighed, how could she tell him that? How could she explain to him that she felt so vulnerable and she knew that in case they ever broke up she had no one else by her side?
"Don't worry," Roselyn said but John's gaze didn't relax, it was still tensed and concerned.
"No. Roselyn you have to tell me." He said, stretching for her arm, "tell me what's wrong?"
Roselyn took a long breath and stared at John straight in the eyes, "I just realized I'm involuntary making burned land around me and I will probably end up being alone." Roselyn said faking an amused tone of voice trying to soften the meaning of her words.
"You will never be alone if I am here with you," John said offering a shy honest smile.
Roselyn felt her stomach whimpering in distress, feeling of nausea and she ran toward the bathroom when she felt she was going to throw up.
As soon as her hands touched the cold surface of the cabinet she began to throw up. John who ran behind her helped her by pulling her hair up and heading her paper towels to clear her mouth.
"Are you okay?" He asked frowning his forehead and caressing her pale cheeks
Roselyn stood up and went to rinse her mouth. "I am… I guess I was just stressed." Roselyn murmured receiving a nod from John whose face was even more preoccupied than before.
"It's alright." She reassured him before washing her teeth. The annoying knot in her stomach was still bothering her but tried to bear the aching not to worry John even more.
William's words resounded in Roselyn's mind when she was reminded that t may be a symptom of pregnancy.
'No no no...' she repeated to herself. Unconsciously rolling her eyes to the sky, 'God doesn't pull dirty tricks on me, please.'
A burning feeling in her stomach was persistent and John hugged her from behind to massage her stomach as he probably understood she was in pain. "I will never leave you." He whispered closer to her ear and Roselyn stared at him speechlessly, she wanted to ask him if he won't leave her either if she found out she was pregnant. It was the perfect occasion to ask but when she opened her mouth the fear prevented her voice to come out.
Suddenly she felt flushing and her vision blurred before beginning to spin. Her legs were heavy and suddenly so fatigued. A strong headache made her cover her forehead with her hand but as soon as she touched her forehead she felt cold sweat. Her vision darkened leaving her unable to see anything.
"My head is spinning." Those were the last words that slipped out Roselyn's mouth before she fainted, falling down the floor.
"Rose!"
"Roselyn!
John called but she didn't wake up, so he gently shook her trying to wake her up but once again his efforts were in vain.
She was always paler and John was seriously preoccupied. His eyes were dull as he kept gazing at her waiting and mentally praying to receive an answer from her. He placed his fingers over her wrists to hear if he could perceive her heartbeat and when he did he smiled hugely in relief. She was alive, the heartbeat was strong and fast.
John felt stupid when he realized that he overreacted for a faint. Roselyn woke up in few minutes when her lips turned to their usual peachy color. She blinked few times, her long eyelashes slammed against the skin beneath her eyebrows and she coughed.
John lifted her back to allow her to breathe properly, "how do you feel?" he asked, his eyes were widened and he was the one pale now for the fright.
Roselyn's vision was still blurred and she felt worn off, her legs were tired like if she just ran a marathon. She was overwhelmed by cold shivers.
Roselyn never fainted before, it couldn't be only due to the stress. She now really was questioning if there wasn't something deeper about the whole situation and if she was pregnant. All the emotional crisis she had, her mood swings may wasn't only due to her jealousy.
The pieces put together didn't only form a puzzled but also a clear image.
"John..." She said, trying to force herself to look at him despite the nervousness she was in.
John's eyes narrowed as he leaned closer to her to hear her better since she was speaking very low voice.
"What if..." She murmured but then the words framed in her throat and seemed unable to come out, she swallowed down and clenched her fists trying to gather all the courage in her body and at the same time shush the voices in her head that were screaming he might refuse her if he knew.
"Rose… What's wrong?" John insisted preoccupied, if he could replace one of his powers with the capability to read minds he would do that. He didn't like to see Roselyn in that state and it was deathly scaring him.
"I think..." Roselyn said and took a long breath between the words, her gaze unconsciously dropped to the floor. "I think I may be … pregnant."
Roselyn couldn't believe she finally forced those words out of her mouth and she searched to his gaze which remained dull and empty having her wonder if she really vociferated out her concern or if she just imagined doing that.
"Rose...." he finally replied and Roselyn forced a shy smile but John's emotionless facial expression didn't reassure her at all but made her even more worried and now familiar burning feeling in her stomach was suddenly back accompanied by nausea.