Imperfect Desires

151 I'm Not Bai Xiu

When you live with a lie for too long, it eventually becomes a part of you. But sometimes that very lie becomes a noose around our neck that tightens with each passing second. It either chokes us to our limits or it embeds itself within our flesh and blood.

But every person has that one moment in life where they want to scream the truth to the whole world. For a person like Xiu, even though it was the most unbelievable thing, she still wanted someone to know that she wasn't Bai Xiu. And today, she did...

"I'm not Bai Xiu," said Xiu straightforwardly.

"What do you mean?" Dylan was the first one to question.

"Exactly what I just said," replied Xiu matter-of-factly. "I'm just a lost soul who somehow ended up finding a place in Bai Xiu's body."

"Huh?" The three people around her had complicated expressions on their faces as they stared back at her in confusion.

Let's rewind a bit to understand what really led Xiu to bluntly say her deepest darkest secret of all times.

Earlier, Xiu was bored out of her mind seeing them ignoring her so brazenly. One of the things she despised the most was when someone ignored her presence. Her mother did that for years and according to her, that was enough. Xiu picked up her cellphone and downloaded one of those remote control apps and turned off the tv.

Finally, three pairs of eyes blinked away from the screen. In confusion, Nora turned on the tv again but for the next five times, Xiu turned it off and acted like she had no clue about it at all. "I think there is a glitch or something," said Nora in confusion and Xiu's lips curled up in a sly smile.

Taking advantage of the fact that now, everyone's attention was not on some cold arctic creatures, Xiu suggested, "Since the tv has a glitch, let's play something." She pointed outside saying, "Don't let the rain dampen your spirits."

Nora raised her brow at Xiu in question since this morning, this very best friend of hers said something like how the rain was ruining her day. And now, she was being so optimistic? Nora really couldn't get her mind around this. But since she couldn't think of another better idea, they decided to play Jenga.

The first person who dropped the blocks was Nora. "Now, pull a chit from the box." Xiu excitedly passed the box full of handwritten questions to her.

Nora took one out and read it out loud, "Your first boyfriend called you...?" Nora scratched her head and as if reminiscing about that time said, "He used to call me Nory as it rhymed with Dory. From 'Finding Nemo'."

"But he wasn't your boyfriend," reminded Dylan making Nora hit him with a throw pillow. "What? He was your crush. At most, he can be described as your unrequited love."

"Shut up, Hedi!"

Dylan shrugged his shoulders as he said, "Whatever."

"What are you both talking about?" asked Xiu curiously looking at Dylan and Nora.

"Nothing."

"Nothing."

Both of them replied simultaneously which made Xiu, even more, intrigued to know about this inside story between them. She had never seen Nora trying to avoid her eyes as much as she was doing right now.

Moving on, the next person who lost was Dylan himself and when he read his question, everyone's eyes were on him as his question was, "What was the biggest dream you had when you're 18?"

Dylan looked at Nora and Xiu's curious eyes while saw a knowing look at Darren's face. He sighed out before saying, "When I was 18, my biggest dream was to get married."

"WHAT?!" Both the girls exclaimed in shock making him flinch.

"Then why do you avoid blind dates?" asked Xiu looking at him with a weird look.

"Because now marriage is my biggest nightmare," said Dylan as if it was supposed to explain everything. Xiu looked at Darren for confirmation and the latter nodded at her making Xiu puzzled.

While they started the next round, Nora leaned close to Dylan to say, "It's a pity that it took one girl to turn your dream into a nightmare. Tsk. Tsk."

"Don't play the game you're bound to lose," Nora's brows furrowed together when Dylan said that but his last word told her what his intentions were. "No-ry!" He intentionally used the nickname that Xin Xiaosi had for Nora making her glare at him hatefully.

The next person who lost the game was Darren and his chit read, "Name the first person who comes to your mind when you read, 'I want you back'."

"Ah-Xiu," Darren ended up saying on instinct but when Dylan pinched his thigh, he coughed to change his answer with, "I mean... No one really comes to my mind."

"That's boring, Darren," said Nora.

"Why don't you share what comes to your mind?" said Dylan since he wanted to take the pressure off of his best friend.

And he succeeded in diverting Nora's attention as she said, "Aiyo, obviously, I want my money back. All that money that I spent on useless things."

"You're still a shopaholic?" asked Dylan with a huge grin.

"Don't even mention that," said Nora as she had the wish to slap that grin off his face.

While no one was noticing, only Xiu's attention was stuck on what Darren said. 'Ah-Xiu?' She was certain that's what he said but why? Somehow she knew when he said Ah-Xiu, he wasn't referring to her since he had never even called her Xiu much less Ah-Xiu. Apart from that, the feeling of loss that she felt from his voice couldn't be faked.

In the next round, Xiu was distracted but she was still not the one who lost. The one who lost was Nora again and read out her task, "Tell us a secret." Seeing the eager eyes around her, she tugged at Xiu's sleeve and said, "Xiu, be my black knight. You still haven't lost a single round. Please, answer this one for me."

Xiu was gonna decline but she didn't know what came over her. For once, she wanted to say it out loud. For once, she wanted someone to know this secret. So, she said, "My secret is that... I'm not Bai Xiu."Please go to