I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

John had arrived and knocked on the door. 

He had a bundle of red lilies in his hand and his usual cape and a pair of pants. He didn't have anything else on. "Elsa's also in here right?" For some reason, he actually gelled his hair. Well, that was new. 

I actually forgot that he had a crush on Elsa. I guess this is why he was so afraid of mom.

I didn't care though. I welcomed him in. there was a very good reason for it. 

"Yeah, she's in the living, eating pudding.. Would you like to join her?" Elsa wasn't the only one eating pudding though. 

Mom and Elsa shared a lot of their tastes. And their love for pudding was one of them. Actually, I couldn't deny my affection for the pudding too. 

With a big grin, John entered the house and went for the living. I locked the door with a grin of my own. 

HaHAHAHA.  Muahaha hahaa!

And a moment later, he was running my way. But with a solid grin, I grabbed him and dragged his wailing body back towards the living.

"You traitor-" He managed through his tears and snorts. 

"Dude, calm down, it's just my mom."

It wasn't like she was going to roast him or something, right?

Right?

"Do you have any idea how frightening she is? She once beat grandfather in two seconds! And father in just one!" He went pale just from reminiscing the stuff. I guess he had bad memories.

  The guy was about three years older than me, so I guess he knew a bit more about mom than me. 

I just rolled my eyes. "I live with her." 

He looked at me with glassy eyes. "Oh yeah, I forgot you're a monster too."

I sighed. "SO says, the self-proclaimed most evil villain of the world." I sighed again and just dragged him back to the living. 

Once inside, he started acting all nice and calm. He was still shaking but he was acting way too calm. 

He greeted mom like she was some sort of goddess. Mom obviously acted normal, like an aunt should. 

Just how afraid was this guy, seriously?

I took my seat and so did John. 

"There weren't any open seats so I asked John." I actually hadn't told mom. It wasn't that I forgot whilst drooling for the pudding okay!

"You couldn't have asked Marg?"

"She's with her mother. I didn't want to disturb her."

I really wanted her to come along though. The two of us, spending the night in a hotel- ah, yeah, probably a bad idea considering her health. And I'd already made up my mind that I wouldn't force anything on her. 

"Oh?" Mom looked a bit surprised. "Looks like sometimes you can be thoughtful too."

She smiled a bit and asked some questions to John. It was just typical greetings and all but John was sweating like he was giving a life or death interview or something.  Nodding here, shivering there. 

Ah, pudding- one second I put it in my mouth, and the next second, it was all gone. Ah- pudding!

Mom was done eating and so were we. I wish she'd bought more. 

"Well, I'm glad you're taking him. Be sure to make sure he doesn't get to pull anything. He's going to be a married man soon." Obviously, mom was talking to John.

"Married?" John looked at me, a bit confused. "Didn't you say you'd rather stay a virgin forever than get married? 'Women are just distractions!' weren't you the one who said that?"

My face heated up a little. "Don't remind me of that dark era!"

He chuckled. And so did the rest of the two.

He seemed a bit less tense than before. Every once in a while he was also stealing glances at Elsa. If he wasn't my cousin, I'd have punched him. Actually, if only I didn't need him to travel tonight, I'd have surely punched him regardless. But for the time being, I just persevered. 

***

I gathered up everything. Took my sword, the busted saber, Marg's saber, and went to the door. 

I was basically ready to head out.

Mom passed me the Holo. "They said, you voided the warranty but after I had a nice chat with them, they gave you a new one." Mom was smiling but honestly- she was terrifying. "Be sure to- not void it- the next time."

I nodded vigorously and put on the Holo. "By the way mom, you said there was a core in the house. Was it a dragon core?" In that case, I wouldn't have had to steal someone else's.

And since it was gramps', I didn't have to worry too much about it. 

"You're thinking of mixing it into your saber?"

"You know about that process?"

I guess this made things quicker. Just because something was new to me didn't mean it was new to mom. 

"That core belonged to a friend of your grandfather. I-" She paused. "I don't think any typical dragon would be able to absorb that core, let alone fragments of a core."

Well, currently the fragments were kind of busy. 

"Alright." I smiled. "One day, when my saber really becomes strong and all, I'll use that core." I had no idea why but I kind of felt excited to use something gramps left behind. But maybe I was forgetting one thing. And that one thing came back to my head just a moment later. The core used to be from a friend of my grandfather. Meaning, it could have very well have been a real friend of his who died. "Sorry, mom. I was being insensitive."

She giggled. "It's okay. Both of them are dead anyway. I think they'd have been happy if they saw you be happy, like me." Mom came close and gave me a hug. "Don't forget to visit every once in a while. We'll always be here for you. And take good care of her. Do-don't leave her alone with a kid like your father." Her eyes were a bit watery. 

My eyes became a bit watery. I sniffed and wiped my eyes. "Well we aren't getting married before graduation so don't worry. And it doesn't matter how far I am, or who I'm married to, I'll always be your son." And my mind was already made up. "I really love her mom. I'll never leave her." And no, I didn't want kids. 

Mom hugged me tighter, giggled, and then let go of me. 

Behind her was Elsa who was pouting but she came close. "Can I come visit?" she could act cute when she wanted to. And the obvious answer was 'no'-

I didn't want my sister to sneak around and peep: I knew she would. But- "Sure, only once a month though and you'd have to bring mom if you want to come." Because unless mom was around, she'd just wreak havoc and try to act cute whenever someone would want to discipline her. 

"Let's go!" John was already out and he was puffing up his chest like he meant business. 

At least uncle had the decency to wear shirts but his son didn't even have that. Oh well. Since I'd be sitting on his back, I'd be pretty much sitting on the cape, rather than anything else, so it was cool. 

At least I was consoling myself with that. 

I tried to leave but Elsa grabbed me from behind and hugged me. This kind of reminded me of the first day of school. "Promise me, you'd forever love me!"

What the hell did that suppose to mean? I chuckled and ruffled her hair. "Well, you're my sister, I can't stop loving you even if I want to." After all, we were family. 

She pouted but- anyway, I left and got on John's back. I waved and both mom and Elsa waved back. 

Why the hell were they acting like I'd never be coming back? 

'Wait, isn't my birthday the day after tomorrow?'

Oh boy.

***

John slowly lifted up and a second later, sped up like crazy. 

"WHOOO!"

We broke through the sound barrier in a matter of seconds. 

I really would have loved my barrier right about now but this much of air pressure and air force wasn't enough to knock me out. Though I wished I didn't get hit by birds. That'd be very unfortunate. 

"I know a faster way. How long can you hold your breath?" 

We were traveling faster than the speed of sound and the lights below were nothing but contrails. I could hear his loud voice clearly though. 

We were at least two or three kilometers up but it probably wasn't enough for long-distance travel. 

" 'bout three minutes?" I could probably hold my breath for longer if I needed to but I didn't want to push myself that far. 

"COOL!" He lifted up, and even more up until we were on the very verge of space. This was not COOL, this was COLD!  I could literally see stars and even some low orbiting satellites!

And then, he dived in solidly!

The atmosphere was warm and then burning. 

"ARGHHH!" My body was literally on fire!

By the time I caught my breath, I was almost burned. The fire was no more: it was literally absorbed by my sword without even doing anything. Good thing my healing system still worked despite the saber out of commission. 

Meaning, bringing this faulty saber was a good call after all. And bringing my sword was another good thing. But wait, I never asked Marg about how her saber worked or what kind of power she had. At the time of our fight, she kind of got behind me without me noticing, maybe that was the power of this saber?

'Guess I'll give her a call once at the hotel.'

"We should be arriving in two minutes," John said.

Wait, already?

With that said, he started descending, not in a pleasant way. His descent was faster than the time I fell from that plane. 

"AHAHHAH!"

We were literally falling to our death and this guy had the galls to laugh at a time like this!?

What the hell was he made off anyway? 

We landed exactly a minute and fifty-three seconds later. Crash-landed that is.