I Don’t Want This Reincarnation

My heart pounded irregularly at the man’s cold gaze and my mouth was dry.

He stared at me without saying a word for a brief moment that felt like aeons and then he broke the silence by tapping the armrest of the chair with his finger.

“I was mistaken.”

The tapping sound intervened in the middle between the relaxed and languid voices.

“I thought you would learn something by looking at the bugs crawling on the floor here, Se-hyun-ah.”

“……”

“Rather than learning, there are rumours that you were rolling around with a male prostitute. Really, I can’t believe it…”

The man rarely even let out a fake laugh. I lowered my eyes, not even thinking of speaking back.

“Yeah… Hyehyangchon (혜향촌) seems to be a little early. When you give it to a child who is still only 27 years old, you can hear all kinds of noise.”

Even if I said I hated it so much, you forced me to do it and now you regret it. It was just as ridiculous. I suppressed the sneering inside.

The man, who had been thinking for a moment while touching his lips, asked the attendant who was standing next to him.

“What kind of store is Park Seok-jae in charge of?”

“There is a bar located in Gangnam.”

“Not bad. Do you want that?”

“I am…”

As I was about to shake my head, the man glanced at the person who had fallen behind me. The words of refusal that reached the end of my throat were blocked.

“What do you say, Se-hyun-ah?”

I, who was hesitant and unable to answer, looked at the man and smiled slightly at the tip of my mouth. (머뭇거리며 답을 하지 못하는 나를 보던 남자가 입꼬리 끝을 살짝 올려 웃었다, not really sure)

“…yes.”

I sighed and accepted his offer. Unlike Hyehyangchon, he was quite satisfied with my attitude of quietly retreating and the man, who smiled properly for the first time after entering the room, got up and walked over to me.

“Yeah, you made a good choice. It’s better to sell alcohol than rumours about you rolling around with a dirty male prostitute.”

After patting my cheek a couple of times as if dealing with a docile dog that listened well, he commanded the attendant.

“Take that, take out the contents and throw it away. There’s about 300 million left in debt, so… it’s broken like that and it’s hard to sell again. There’s nothing we can do.”

“I understand.”

Those words shook my eyes for a moment. The man, who was standing close enough to feel his breath, noticed it and added slowly.

“My Se-hyun is so obedient for some reason, should I use some kindness? Give it some anaesthesia before taking it out.”

“Yes.”

I heard the sound of a person being dragged violently behind me.

“Uh… uh, sa, sal…” (살, I don’t know what ‘the person’ behind Se-hyun wanted to say here)

All the attendants left the room at the end of begging that was spat out in a crushed pronunciation. All that was left were the long bloodstains engraved in the direction the body was dragged in, the man, and me.

I breathed carefully and fixed my gaze on the silver-grey eyes in front of my nose. I wasn’t used to the pupils being exposed under the long eyelashes, no matter how long I faced them.

After making eye contact like that for a while, I felt like I was suffocating, so I lowered my head and avoided it.

“Se-hyun-ah.”

“Yes.”

The man standing in front of me was burdensome, as soon as I pushed my upper body back a little, he immediately grabbed my waist.

“Are you upset?”

I missed the time to answer while trying to let go of the large hand that was pressing on my back and looked down.

“Anyway, not this time. Damn it, that doesn’t make sense. Wherever you go, you roll with a male prostitute?”

“…I’ve never done that.”

“I know. Our good Se-hyun can’t do that. You’re just hanging out with bastards and men who don’t have enough.”

“—ugh!”

Suddenly, the back of my head was caught roughly. The man who forced my face to face up gave me a crooked smile.

“At the most, all the guys who come all the way here and spend money on buying prostitutes are the same.”

My forehead twisted in sharp pain. I clenched my teeth and barely swallowed a groan.

“I’ve said it many times before. If you want sex, tell me. Ung? I will introduce you to a very nice woman.”

“……”

My shoulders stiffened at the terrible words.

The man had said that phrase over and over again from the year I became an adult until seven years had passed.

Crazy jerk (또라이 새끼). Calling someone to do that was fucking disgusting, but even if I did, there was no way I could escape from my male nature (남자성격). I’d rather not do it for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to live a dirty life that way.

“I don’t need it.”

When I barely answered with a stiff tongue, the man sighed and let my hair and waist go. Fortunately, he looked better than before.

“I’m sending another guy here, so get it done within a day.”

I was relieved to have finally escaped from the man’s arms and nodded my head.

* * *

It was nice not to have to go in and out of Hyehyangchon anymore, but it wasn’t without problems.

My job was changed in an instant by the man’s order and I had to stay at his house for a few days with a ridiculous excuse to take over.

Late at night, in order not to run into the man, I got out of the bathroom and walked straight to the guest room.

“……?”

A conversation could be heard from downstairs. It was past 11 p.m. Isn’t it too late for guests to come? I carefully went down the stairs, sweeping my bangs, which were still a little wet from drying it roughly.

“…that doesn’t make sense, Director. Don’t you know how I’ve raised that so far!”

The person who was appealing with a voice full of resentment was a person I knew well. I couldn’t go out to the living room, so I leaned against the wall of the stairs and listened.

“Well. I didn’t know because I wasn’t interested.”

“Director!”

Unable to hold back his temper, the man opened his mouth in a low, cold voice, unlike just before.

“Where is the pig picking its collar and screaming? Can’t you tell what time it is now?”

“…I apologize. But.”

“I think you’re mistaken, Park Seok-jae.”

Clack, the smell of cigarettes was faintly felt along with the sound of something being laid on the glass table.

“Did I give you that store?”

“Pardon?”

“I just told you to manage on my behalf, I don’t think I ever said that I would give it to you?”

“That, that is…”

“If you want to own a store, you can’t manage it like that.”

“……”

“Do you want to bet 100 million with me? I bet it will be rolled up in six months as soon as you own the store. Where do you want to bet?”

“……”

“Where did you learn to be greedy without what’s in your head? Ung?”

I leaned my head against the wall and took a deep breath. The situation wasn’t very good.

The man was sensitive for ten days when something bad happened. Even now, it had been less than two days since I caused the problem, so Park Seok-jae’s behaviour was like pouring oil on a fire.

“Why do you not answer? You’ve been screaming just fine until now.”

“…I apologize.”

After hearing that, I finally couldn’t stand it and pulled myself off the wall. I deliberately went down the remaining stairs so that my presence could pretend to be seen and entered the entrance to the living room.

“Director.”

In front of me, I could see Park Seok-jae’s back, who was standing with his head bowed, and the man sitting on the sofa. Unlike Park Seok-jae, whose his shoulders shook, the man looked at me with a cigarette in his mouth without any reaction.

I was determined, prepared that it wouldn’t be easy to intervene, but when I felt the cold air on my skin, it wasn’t easy to open my mouth. The man, who sucked out the cigarette deeply with his eyes fixed on me, exhaled smoke and said.

“Ung, Se-hyun-ah. Say it.”

“Um…”

Ah, I don’t know. There was no way I could run away from this, so I smiled awkwardly and opened my mouth with the thought that let’s try it, whether it was already become porridge or still rice.

“That, Director. I had wine… I said before let’s have a drink. Do you remember?”

“Wine?”

“Yes. If you don’t mind…”

The man rubbed a cigarette into the ashtray and raised the corner of his mouth slightly in the lie I struggled to spit it out.

“Wine, huh.”

The man who noticed my intentions muttered something quietly as if teasing me. I was nervous, but even if I begged him more here, it would only have the opposite effect. I bit my lip and waited for permission.

“I hate wine.”

“Pardon?”

“I think there was some liquor left over.”

“……”

I was confused, not knowing what the man was going to do. Liquor. The difficulty suddenly increased, but now I couldn’t refuse.

“I think it’s not good. Then don’t.”

“No. I want to drink it.”

He got up from his seat when I answered hastily, putting aside my miserable feelings.

“I was going to bed early because I was tired, but if our Se-hyun wants to drink, I should drink.”

…I was so grateful for that. It was true that the shameless man was annoyed, but fortunately, the situation was settled without any major problems.

The man who was walking to the liquor showcase stopped and said in a grumpy voice.

“Leave, Park Seok-jae.”

“Director.”

“You said you put a lot of effort into it, so I should give you a week to organize it. That’s enough, right? Se-hyun gave me a day.”

“……”

Park Seok-jae’s face turned red and distorted.

“What are you doing? I told you to leave. I don’t want to drink while looking at your stupid face, Seok-jae.”

“…yes. I will be on my way.”

Park Seok-jae, who swallowed up his anger, bowed his head toward the man who didn’t even look at him then turned around. He never made eye contact with me.

As I stared blankly at Park Seok-jae who had powerfully clenched his fist and was moving away, I felt a gentle hand stroking my cheek.

“Why are you looking so hard at the guy leaving?”

I unintentionally turned my head toward the man and trembled at a distance far closer than I expected. Seeing that, the man with a meaningful smile took another step again.

“You don’t even know how to do other things properly, but your aegyo grows day by day. That’s why I’m worried.”

I noticed the man, who took the bottle out of the showcase then headed for the kitchen, and hurried to follow him.

“I will prepare it.”

“Sit down.”

The man, still smiling, pointed to the white Irish table and pulled out a glass. I was sweating coldly as he looked so happy that I couldn’t even compare it to before.

‘I think I’m doomed…’

Could I keep my sanity and go back to your room? I thought it would be a bit difficult. My shoulders were already drooping from fatigue.

I stiffened as the man stood opposite and put down the glass and ice bucket he had brought.

“I’m really looking forward to how far our Se-hyun will last this time.”

“That…”

“How much alcohol I wanted to drink, if my body was sweet, I would have asked him to drink first. Right?” (얼마나 술을 마시고 싶어서 몸이 달았으면 먼저 마시자고 졸랐겠어)

“……”

The man who put one ice in one glass poured the liquor. The glass filled with ice came to me and the glass filled with alcohol was taken by the man himself. I hesitated for a moment as I was handed the glass and then asked sullenly.

“…can I add just one more ice cube?”

It was only one piece of ice, but now it was more precious to me than anything else. Fortunately, the man laughed and added another ice cube.