I Don’t Want This Reincarnation

WARNING: This chapter and upwards may make you discomfort or trigger something. Just keep in mind that this is just fiction. ^^

“Your energy has become pretty clear.”

As soon as they saw me as I entered the library, Elohim spoke out instead of saying hello. I tilted my head slightly with doubt.

“Is that so?”

“Have you met your third dream?”

“Yes.”

When I answered briefly, Elohim held up the teacup with an expression like that.

“What do you mean by becoming clearer?”

I didn’t think there was any change, I wondered how did Elohim immediately notice it right away. When I asked him out of curiosity, he smiled and motioned for me to sit on the sofa.

“Do you remember Deputy Master of the Athena Guild? It’s a kid named Chloe Asner.”

“Of course, I remember.”

Bewildered by the unexpected appearance of the name, Chloe’s ability immediately came to mind.

Knowing what I was thinking, Elohim gently raised the corner of his mouth as if I was right.

“She is a child with special ability indeed. It can be seen that the SS-rank is the most suitable for her rank. You don’t have that kind of ability easily.”

“You mean the eyes that can see the colour of the other person’s energy.”

“Yeah. She watched yours, too.”

“That’s right.”

Then the memory slowly came to mind. What did she say again.

“You must have heard it was dark blue.”

Ah, right. I did.

“But that… isn’t that Han Yi-gyeol’s energy?”

“No. It’s also your energy. To be precise, Han Yi-gyeol’s energy and Kwon Se-hyun’s energy are mixed.”

“Mixed? Like paint?”

“That’s an appropriate analogy. Then I will ask you, Se-hyun-ah. Do you know what colours must be mixed to get dark blue?”

If it was dark blue…

I pondered for a moment, then opened my mouth carefully.

“Blue and black?”

“That’s right.”

I felt a strange sense of dread. Black candy was given by Elohim every evening. If I ate it, the chances of dreaming of past memories increased.

Before that, we met in a dream and had to choose between light blue candy and black candy.

“Is the black one me?”

I never seriously thought about the colour of candy, but now that I saw it, it made sense.

“The higher the grade, the clearer and darker the colour of the energy. Do you remember what I said a few days ago? That Han Yi-gyeol’s soul had been worn out and faded by his long agony.”

“Yes.”

“Originally, Han Yi-gyeol had blue. But when you came in, it was so weak that it turned light blue. In that state, your soul came in, so it turned blue again… In addition, black was mixed.”

Even though I listened to the explanation as calmly as possible, I was confused. Rubbing my forehead, I barely organized Elohim’s words.

“Um, so you mean… his soul was weakened and it turned light blue, but thanks to me, it was restored to blue again. Does that mean that my black was added to it and eventually became dark blue?”

“You understand quickly.”

Elohim smiled brightly like the midday sun. Elahah, who was walking around the library, walked up to Elohim and opened his mouth with a pitiful voice.

“How can you learn such an easy thing so late? There are a lot of things you need to know in the future.”

He handed the book he had brought to Elohim. It was a book with a blue cover.

“Thanks.”

“Are you really okay? I’m against this. At least, you have to dream twice more to see this.”

“No. It’s better now. It’s just a matter of being strong.”

Elohim, who had been having an unknown conversation, looked at me again.

“The colours of the energy entangled in the heart are mixed, but the colour you see when you use your ability doesn’t mix. Se-hyun-ah, it means that when you use the wind ability, the colour of Han Yi-gyeol’s energy will appear. Of course, the colour of the energy when using the intervention ability, not the wind, is black.”

“Wait a minute, then…”

At that explanation, Chloe’s face I had seen one day suddenly came to mind. The expression on her face was deeply engulfed in emotion.

When was it? It must have been the day after I escaped safely from Samael. When I met Chloe and Edward, I talked and use the wind ability to return to Requiem Guild.

“Flying through the window. The wind ability is so romantic.”

Chloe, who was leisurely seeing us off, joking around with a light tone of voice, stared at me and used her ability to differentiate energy.

“…no, never mind. I’m sorry. I was mistaken.”

The changed attitude of shaking her head hastily with a hardened face with eyes sparkling with a light powder.

I was always thinking about something strange. Hearing Elohim’s explanation, it seemed that I now understood the reason why Chloe looked like that.

She saw it. Unlike the energy of the heart, which had a dark blue colour, the colour of the blue energy overflowed out of the body when using the wind ability.

With a complicated mind, I frowned and said to Elohim.

“If Deputy Master Chloe noticed, of course, Cheon Sa-yeon would know. The problem of my energy.”

As expected, Elohim didn’t answer easily. I let out a deep sigh that rose from the depths.

“The more you dream, the darker the colour will be. If you start using your intervention ability, it will be faster than it is now. It’s not going to be pure black, but it’s going to be close to that dark.”

“That’s… are you saying that Han Yi-gyeol doesn’t disappear at all?”

“Do you want him to disappear?”

“It’s not necessarily like that, but I can’t stand back now.”

Even if Han Yi-gyeol’s soul, who remained somewhere, came and asked for his body back, I had no intention of giving it back. Even if it was shameful, that was the honest feeling.

I have to live. I will live. Unless I got caught up in some circumstances or die in an accident, I wouldn’t risk my life. Never.

“You can take it out if you want, but if you don’t, it’s better to leave it alone. I don’t know if there will be any side effects, so I don’t need to touch it.”

Elahah, who was standing next to him and listening to the conversation, also agreed. Even those who had lived for a long time couldn’t be sure. I should never do it.

“Here you go.”

Elohim held out the book that Elahah had given him earlier. It was a book with no title written on it, but when I saw the blue leather cover, I got a rough idea.

“Since you met your dream three times, you should be able to see Han Yi-gyeol’s past as promised.”

“Can I read this?”

“Yeah. That’s the usage. Open and read it. However, while reading, the burden on your body will be severe. It will be fine while you’re reading it, but it will be hard for a week after you’ve finished reading it. Are you okay though?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Elohim continued to speak to me as I swiped the cover of the book.

“As I told you last time, that one book is the end of Han Yi-gyeol. Anyway, to fill in the blanks, I brought another child’s past and filled it in.”

“Perhaps…”

“Right. Not only Han Yi-gyeol, but also Cheon Sa-yeon’s thoughts will be heard. Originally, it would be against the established standards, but… I’ve already promised, so there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Elohim, who slowly nodded and stared at me with unknown eyes, patted my shoulder as if cheering.

“I and Elahah will always be by your side, so come and see me.”

At those words, my body, which had been nervous about without knowing, was relieved a little. I nodded slowly, laid my back on the sofa and opened the book. The first page was white and blank, but from the second page, there was a lot of writing.

I touched the first line written on top by hand. The more I read, the more everything around me became blurry and I felt a rich sense of floating in the air.

「My younger sister, Yi-yeon, was a weakly born child.」

* * *

A narrow alleyway in the C12 Area spread out in front of me. I could feel the winter wind blowing strongly through my skin.

A familiar face passed by. I followed him as if possessed. Han Yi-gyeol’s small, round head came into view. His figure was a little shorter and his cheeks hadn’t yet fallen out and his face looked very young.

「My younger sister, Yi-yeon, was a weakly born child.」

Unlike me, a voice that seemed a little more sensitive echoed in my head. Han Yi-gyeol, who opened the iron door of the old house, bowed his back as if he was about to fall over in the winter wind and went inside.

「Well. Maybe it was because she didn’t eat much in the mother’s belly. The father’s face had long since been forgotten and the one who gave birth was dead. Until now, the old man had lived with the money he earned from selling waste paper, but that was over. I nevertheless returned from time to time before and hadn’t seen him for over three months. In the cold winter of 20 years old, only Yi-yeon and I were left here.」

A narrow studio room. I could see newspapers clumsily attached on the window and the cold floor of the room was so chilly that my bones ache. The thin blanket placed on top of it had an electric pad that felt the only warmth.

「Oppa.」

The one lying on the bed slowly raised her upper body. Her small body and pale skin as if she had never seen the light before, particularly caught the eye.

Her hair and eyes were the same soft brown as Han Yi-gyeol, but her features were a little more compact and her forehead was white and round.

「Yeon-ah.」

After roughly throwing the bag he was carrying in the corner of the room, Han Yi-gyeol hurriedly ran to the girl. Han Yi-yeon (한이연). Han Yi-gyeol’s only remaining blood relative and the younger sister he cherished as much as his life.

Unlike Han Yi-gyeol’s eyes, whose eyes were slightly upward, Han Yi-yeon’s eyes were much rounder and bigger, and her ends drooped down, giving the impression of a little puppy. With her arms outstretched, Han Yi-yeon hugging Han Yi-gyeol, she felt the cold and her body trembled slightly.

「Is it very cold outside?」

「A little.」

Han Yi-yeon grabbed Han Yi-gyeol’s hand, which turned red due to the cold, and covered it with a warm blanket. Seeing that, Han Yi-gyeol raised the corner of his lips for the first time and smiled.

I stood in the narrow room and watched it silently. A 20-year-old young head of the household and a young, sick sister. The familiar smell of misfortune I had been tired of seeing throughout my life.

I had just turned 20, but it was a luxury workplace to dream of a bright future where I was congratulated by others.

I was grateful for the fact that I could find a better job than when I was a student and had a miserable life where I had to work from early morning to late at night.

「Oppa, are you hungry? Hurry up and wash up. I will prepare the meal.」

As Han Yi-gyeol warmed up his frozen hands a little, Han Yi-yeon spoke in a bright voice and got her body up. Han Yi-yeon moved diligently to the kitchen in front of her. Han Yi-gyeol’s thoughts came to mind when he saw that.

「My pretty little sister.」

Much smaller and thinner body than her peers. How bored and lonely she must be in this small house all day without going to school.

「I only need you.」

Han Yi-gyeol murmured again with cold, subdued eyes that didn’t match his gentle face.

「As long as you’re with me.」

“……”

I involuntarily frowned at the strange atmosphere.