I Don’t Want This Reincarnation

A hot fire filled the surroundings. A hazy sky filled with dust, the suffocating muggy air, the unpleasant sensation that was sticking to the skin.

Cheon Sa-yeon and Ha Tae-heon stood in the middle. Both of them stared straight ahead with their bodies soaked in blood.

“I would like to give you a present.”

A voice of malice. Behind the foggy smoke, a familiar face rolled to the ground. Cheon Sa-yeon’s hand holding the sword trembled.

“Haha… hahaha! Haha!”

Even though the laughter insulting the dead spread, Cheon Sa-yeon couldn’t do anything and lowered his head helplessly.

My heart was beating so fast that it was hard to breathe. Cold sweat ran down my temples.

“Cheon Sa-yeon.”

I reached out his hand, but it didn’t reach him. I turned my head and called for Ha Tae-heon, who was breathing heavily.

“Ha Tae-heon-ssi.”

Even I opened my mouth and shouted, but no one noticed my presence. The flames that soared between them and me obscured my vision. The scorching heat brought pain, but I kept shouting.

“Cheon Sa-yeon! Ha Tae-heon-ssi!”

Everything moved away again. Cheon Sa-yeon and Ha Tae-heon, who confronted Samael, were engulfed in flames like monkfish. (사마엘과 대치한 천사연과 하태헌을 타오르는불이 아귀처럼 집어삼켰다)

“Wait!”

The flames that devoured them now spread to my body. My eyes were lit up white with light.

* * *

“Han Yi-gyeol! Han Yi-gyeol, wake up!”

Someone shook my shoulder violently. The burning smell of fire and blood disappeared, and a familiar voice was heard.

I opened my eyes, gasping. I saw Ha Tae-heon, who frowned with a blurred view.

“…Ha Tae-heon-ssi.”

“Wake up.”

I looked around slowly. White blanket, a ceiling, and a starry night sky outside the window. It was then that I realized that what I had just seen was a dream and that this place was a reality.

It must have been a huge nightmare. Ha Tae-heon, who was sleeping next to me, woke up because of me.

‘Even though I ate the candy Elohim gave me, why?’

Ha Tae-heon came and held my stiff hand.

“I had to wake you up because you looked so bad.”

“I’m, I’m sorry.”

Ha Tae-heon sighed as I raised my upper body and stuttered to apologize.

“Since you’ve apologized, get your breathing normal first. Do you need water?”

“No. I’m fine.”

Even though I woke up from sleep, I was still very tired. I put my hand on my forehead, which was wet with cold sweat.

I didn’t know if I was alone, but I couldn’t keep sleeping with Ha Tae-heon like this. I was about to get out of bed thinking I should wash up, but Ha Tae-heon grabbed my shoulder.

“Where are you going?”

“That, I’m sweating… so I’m going to wash up.”

I checked the clock on the wall. Late at 2:40 a.m. towards 3 a.m. The bathroom was in the room, so washing up would disturb Ha Tae-heon’s sleep.

“Go to the next room and go to sleep, Ha Tae-heon-ssi.”

“Tsk.”

Ha Tae-heon, clicking his tongue, got off the bed first and supported me.

“Wash up and come out. I will wait.”

“What? You don’t even have to do that.”

“Go in.”

He ignored my suggestion and pushed my back toward the bathroom. I hesitated while holding the towel and said.

“Then I will wash up quickly.”

“Don’t trip over nothing.”

It was a concern that would have toward the child, but I had so many worries that I couldn’t refute it.

I closed the bathroom door and took off the wide shirt and pants I was wearing. I was sweating this much, but strangely, I kept getting chills.

‘Is it not supposed to be another cold, right?’

If I caught a cold here, I couldn’t even eat porridge or rice. I blinked slowly as the hot water pouring from the shower hit me from the top of my head.

The seven days that Elohim had talked about were now over. If I spent just one more night, I had to send off Ha Tae-heon.

It was painful to have to break the trust I had barely built with him, but I couldn’t go back to Korea like this.

There was still some time left, so let’s persuade Ha Tae-heon well. With a firm resolve, I hurriedly washed myself and changed into new clothes.

“Ha Tae-heon-ssi?”

I dried my wet hair roughly with the hairdryer in the bathroom and carefully walked out of the room. As expected, Ha Tae-heon didn’t sleep any longer and was sitting on the bed waiting for me.

“You came out quickly.”

“Is that so?”

It would have taken 20 minutes though. It must have been difficult to sleep again because he could hear the sound of washing up since he was an SS-rank.

“Drink.”

As I approached, lowering the tip of my eyebrows in regret, he held out a glass of water on the side table as if he had been waiting. He must have gone to the kitchen while I was washing. I accepted with gratitude and drank it. The warm water drenched my dry throat.

“Can you sleep again?”

It was already past three o’clock. After thinking about Ha Tae-heon’s question for a while, I spoke frankly.

“…I don’t know. I’m tired.”

“Lie down. Even if you can’t sleep, I think it’s better to rest.”

I nodded and lay down next to Ha Tae-heon as before. He also turned off the night lamp, but sleep didn’t come easily once I had woken up.

Perhaps it was the same for Ha Tae-heon as he touched my half-wet hair without closing his eyes.

Maybe now was the chance. I bit his lip, pondering, and slowly opened my mouth.

“Erm, Ha Tae-heon-ssi.”

“Say it.”

“That…”

As he responded in a drowsy voice, somehow the next words caught my throat.

How should I say this? I have to stay here, so should I tell him to go back to Korea alone? Or tell him that there’s something more important than the promise I made with him?

My head suddenly became complicated and I felt a sharp pain like being stabbed by a needle. After a few times, I finally spat out a word.

“I can’t sleep.”

It was like throwing away an opportunity that had barely arisen out of fear. As he frowned at my own patheticness, Ha Tae-heon rubbed my forehead with a warm hand.

“Your complexion is getting worse again. What the hell were you dreaming of?”

He seemed to misunderstand that I was in bad condition because of my nightmares. It was about half right, but it wasn’t once or twice that I had a wild dream, so it wasn’t a big deal.

“It’s nothing.”

“……”

“I guess I was a little anxious. I don’t have any plans for the future yet.”

I added it like a joke to the awkward mood.

“I came running looking for only one prophet. It’s all gone now, huh?”

“It’s okay.”

His hand swept across the cheek and down my neck. My body flinched involuntarily at the gentle touch of my ear.

“Come to Roheon when you return to Korea.”

“Pardon?”

“And you can think about it slowly. What you’re going to do next.”

What does that have to do with getting into Roheon?

“It’s not at all strange that you don’t have a clear goal or plan at your age.”

“Ah… your age?”

“I’ll be by your side to help.”

“Ha Tae-heon-ssi, I…”

“Come to Roheon.”

“……”

Ha Tae-heon said it again, but I couldn’t easily answer. One day he would find out that it didn’t matter where I belong anymore.

I smiled bitterly.

“…I’ll think about it.”

* * *

I couldn’t remember when I fell asleep. When I woke up again, the sun was shining down on the bed instead of Ha Tae-heon’s body temperature.

I got out of the bed listening to the sound of birds chirping through the window. Every morning I woke up and ate with Elohim, but today it was already lunchtime because I overslept.

“El.”

“Did you sleep well?”

After I washed and left the room, Elohim who was just passing by greeted me.

“I was told you had a nightmare. Fortunately, you look fine now.”

“It’s not bad.”

“The candy I gave you can’t stop a normal dream. That’s the sad part.”

He handed me the mug he was holding.

“It’s rose petals. Drink it. It smells pretty good.”

“Thank you.”

“If you’re done drinking, you should eat. Is there anything you want to eat?”

I asked as I followed Elohim towards the kitchen.

“What about Ha Tae-heon-ssi?”

“The child finished eating and went to see the sea.”

It wasn’t surprising that Ha Tae-heon often went to see the sea during his stay here. I put the finished cup of tea to the table and opened my mouth.

“El.”

“Ung?”

“Before we eat… I would like to have a conversation.”

At my request, Elohim looked at me and smiled softly.

“Shall we do it here? Or you can move to my room.”

After I looked around and confirmed that Ha Tae-heon wasn’t here, I answered.

“It's fine here too.”

“Tell me.”

I pondered for a while with my head bowed. Silence fell in the kitchen, but Elohim waited patiently.

“Ha Tae-heon-ssi…”

I exhaled nervously and lifted my face.

“Do I have to send him off?”

“Oh, dear. Se-hyun-ah.”

He frowned as if he was sorry for my words.

“You know he shouldn’t be here, don’t you?”

“Is there no way?”

Elohim walked closer, grabbed my shoulders, and met my gaze.

“If the child stays here, he can’t do much.”

The voice that came out slowly, as if soothing, was so sweet.

“You don’t want Ha Tae-heon to know.”

“……”

“The fact that you’ve seen everything through ‘Abyss’.”

I tried not to react, but inevitably my eyelids trembled slightly. Elohim, who smiled bitterly at me, tightened his hand on my shoulder.

“You and Ha Tae-heon have different circumstances. The information the child needs to know has already been determined. If he finds out anything else, he has to pay extra, and that could be his life. It’s an area that I can’t control even on my own.”

“…I didn’t know that part.”

I didn’t have high expectations because it was a question I asked with the feeling of catching straw in the first place, but when I was rejected, I lost more energy than I expected. Elohim, who caressed my cheek as I lowered my eyes, said in a slightly low voice.

“I understand what you mean. But I don’t think it’s something you can avoid.”

“I’m not sure… I’ll be able to persuade Ha Tae-heon-ssi properly.”

“If you can’t tell him until the moment you send him off tomorrow, I’ll help you.”

Elohim would help me? I was more afraid than grateful.

“I don’t want to hurt Ha Tae-heon-ssi.”

“You’re worrid about the wrong person.”

Elohim, who smiled coldly, grabbed my chin and lifted it up.

“I will gladly help you because everything will go back to normal only when he is sent back to Korea, but Se-hyun-ah. In that case, you should stay by my side without approaching the child.”

“What does it mean?”

“Even if Ha Tae-heon has been docile in the past, we don’t know how he will change if he makes a mistake. SS-ranks are very dangerous beings.”

His resolute demeanour made me feel uncomfortable in an instant. I refuted Elohim by removing his hand.

“There is no way Ha Tae-heon-ssi will attack me recklessly. That person…”

“Rational and cold-hearted. He has high morals. But he’s suspicious, so he won’t hesitate if he thinks it’s a threat.”

“Is this also a prophecy?”

“No. I just know more than you do.”

Elohim tapped my eye area with his finger.

“Se-hyun-ah. You saw it in the Abyss. Another ability of Ha Tae-heon’s right hand.”

“…but that ability.”

“He hates using it. That’s right. But when the time comes, he will use it without hesitation.”

Elohim took a step away from me. He said looking at me pitifully.

“Remember, Se-hyun-ah. The child must be sent back to Korea.”