Headed by a Snake

Tycondrius narrowed his eyes to thin slits just as a flash of light burst from angel Khalkyd's right hand.

With it came an intense, but fleeting rush of dry heat.

It was slightly uncomfortable... but Tycon was pleased that it wicked away the sweat and moisture in his clothing.

Khalkyd was staring him down, his flaming greatsword poised to strike... putting all of his effort into looking intimidating.

"Put. it. away. Tyrael," He warned.

"Tss?" Tycon scoffed, raising his eyebrows mockingly, "Or you'll do *what?* Kill a mortal? How many of your *rules* would that break, Khalkyd?"

Khalkyd took a deep breath, setting his expression into a steely grimace, "Why are *you* even *here?*"

The angel turned his head and raised his voice, "Overseer!!"

Overseer? Tycon followed the angel's line of vision.

A certain oversized orc was standing a dozen fulms away, anxiously rubbing his hands together.

Perhaps he was trying to look innocent.

He was not very convincing.

"I uh... it's not my fault, guy," Hades smiled toothily. "We got it handled, though, so uh... you don't gotta report this."

Khalkyd looked back to Tycon, "I was under the *assumption* that your 'Gatekeepers' had placed a restriction on planar travel."

"Loophole," Tycon explained. "I utilized a Gate operated by the mortal guardians of the Lake Goddess."

"Che," Khalkyd scoffed... "So you're here for Erza Aerzin? I should have known."

...That name. Tycon knew that name... but he could not trust feelings of familiarity.

The floating buffoon in front of him was a perfect example as to why.

Khalkyd hovered to the side to address Rena. "See this, young human? This is why the heavens could not host your companion for even a single eternity."

The young Tyrion girl crossed her arms and puffed up her cheeks, "S-stop picking on my boyfriend... even if he does pick a fight with everyone."

"I do *not*!" Tycon snapped.

"Hah!" Rena grinned, "You didn't deny it! No takebacks!"

...Tycon furrowed his brows, trying to discern what exactly the girl meant.

"Is... that the case...?" Khalkyd pursed his lips-- a barely noticeable microexpression, "I must remind you, Tyrael, that having sexual relations with the deceased is--"

"Hold," Tycon released the angel from his grip, taking special care to do so in a rough manner.

"I am aware," He sighed, "I assure you that is not the case."

The steel-skinned angel smoothed out the creases on his coat while shaking his head. His dark, curly hair swayed lightly with the motion.

It made Tycon want to punch him again.

However, his fractured hand throbbed painfully as he re-sheathed his sword... so he decided against it.

"Ahemm... mm..." Rena noisily cleared her throat, "But who else has my husband fought?"

Husband? Only a moment ago, he was her boyfriend--

Tycon opened his mouth to defend himself... but was rudely interrupted.

"Jibril and Metatron come to mind," Khalkyd boomed, "Then... the members of the Draconic Court, Kas Kerak and Jerim Jya... A great battle may have come to pass with Rixen Ra if it weren't for The Blue... Neerin Neelia, if memory serves..."

Hades casually lifted his hand up, "Jibril owes me money. She crashed on my couch for a couple of years, last century."

"...Jibril owes favors to many beings," Khalkyd frowned.

Rena folded her hands, looking worried, "That... that sounds terrible."

Tycon crossed his arms, still indignant, "Based on her personality, that is probably why we came to blows."

"Dude," Hades grimaced.

"What?"

Khalkyd disappeared in a flash, appearing beside Rena.

"They were once... romantic partners," He explained.

...The great and mighty Khalkydrius was a gods-damned gossip.

Tycon's distaste for him grew... immensely.

"OoOoh," Rena grinned as she scrutinized Hades' Orcish form and nodded. "Spicy."

"I was referring to Jibril and..." Khalkyd tilted his head over to Tycon.

"OOOH!" Rena hopped up, "Even SPICIER!!"

"From all accounts," Khalkyd continued, "the honor of the first strike belongs to Lady Jibril."

Rena took hold of Tycon's hand, "Well, *I* would never hit you, dear husband."

...Tycon chose not to respond to her.

He shook his hand free of Rena's grip, drew his short sword once more... and quietly muttered an ⌈Inspirational Surge⌋ to himself to temporarily numb the pain in his hand.

"I've had enough," Tycon stretched his arms and back before flourishing his sword from side to side.

He was confident in using his full strength for at least a single short exchange. "Khalkydrius, to the death. Forthwith."

The steel-skinned angel cradled his chin in his left hand, "Elder Brother... I feel the need to remind you that I am immortal."

"Of this, I am aware," Tycon said in an overly stern voice-- copying Khalkyd's general demeanor... "I do not envy you."

"Mm," The angel nodded brusquely... "Such... gifts are not for mortals to bear."

"Indeed," Tycon smirked,  "I'd imagine it will be rather uncomfortable suffering a sword lodged up your anus until the end of eternity."

"PAH! HahaHAHA!!" Hades slapped his knee, "CLASSIC Tyrael!"

Tycon's bearing broke, and he smiled fully, "You find that amusing, Brother-Hades? For my next trick, I'll jostle the hilt to have Khalkyd speak in tongues."

"Please stop," Rena dipped her head low. "I can only get so wet."

Tycon, Khalkyd, and Hades turned as one: "I'm sorry?" "What?" "Bro."

"I... I didn't say anything," Rena whispered in a small voice.

The untruthful girl's left cheek quickly burgeoned into a deep red.

Tycon could not have asked for a better distraction.

He moved... hoping to take advantage of Khalkyd's unawareness.

Unfortunately, a powerful, grey-skinned arm wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him in. A half-moment later, Hades had entrapped the shiny dullard with his opposite arm.

"Nevermind that," Said the Death Orc. "Listen up, guys. We're gonna have a little sit down and we're gonna *talk* this whole thing out."

Tycon couldn't escape the oversized orc's physically strong grip... not without risking injury. If Hades truly wished for discourse over action, he could only reluctantly acquiesce.

"Must we?" Tycon groaned.

"I am highly doubtful that Tyrael will agree," Khalkyd muttered.

Tycon felt the dark-haired angel try to move... but it seemed that Hades was stronger than even him.

...It was impressive.

The god of death and the dead smiled... a forced smile, without baring his teeth.

"Ah, don't worry about that. We're all pretty reasonable guys, aren't we?

"We got Laws and sh*t. They gotta get followed.

"Everyone here knows that..." Hades tilted his head towards Rena... "even the human."