Headed by a Snake

"You know what's weird, Boss?" Lone asked.

Tycondrius grimaced, "I do not. Please, state your opinion or view without the annoyance of the prefacing rhetorical question."

Guild Invictus had taken a natural break, sitting around a cookfire. Lone had learned how to cast a net, a skill taught to him by the late Kimura Tamaki. Tycon oversaw the fire-roasting of river fish with sea salt, a simple but delectable meal.

Lone scratched his head, "R-right. I mean... with all the weird things going on, it's almost like Wroe's still here."

While Invictus was traveling with Lulu, birds would randomly fall from the sky, dead with worm-ravaged insides. It rained the day prior, but the rain included a few falling toads. Animals were generally terrified of Lulu's presence-- not including fish, thankfully.

Tycon pondered the thought, "No... I disagree, Mister Lone. As peculiar as recent events have been, I'm not worried about a rift randomly opening or chaotic outside forces to converge upon me with blade and bullet."

Lone bit his upper lip, "Oh... oh, yeah."

"Then there are the oft painfully obvious times when Mister Wroe is abducted by a Shadow Creature and replaced until we defeat it."

Lone stared off into the distance, "Yeah..."

"Hey!" Lulu peeked her head out of a bush, "Were you guys talkin' about meeee?!?"

"L-Lulu?" Lone furrowed his brows. He leaned over to whisper to Tycon, "Boss, what is she doing in th--"

"Not now, Lone," Tycon interrupted him. "Lulu, we were only saying good things about you. When was the last time you have been reminded of your relative beauty amongst females similar in physical age as yourself?"

"Gee! Thanks, Boss!! Ehehe..." Lulu grinned before lowering her head back into the bush.

Tycon checked across the cookfire to ensure that Sasha hadn't been stolen. She was carefully blowing on her fire-roasted fish to cool it down.

Not that Tycon particularly cared, but he noticed that Wolfrider was picking through his meal, eating the fleshy parts and ignoring the crisp and delicious salted layer of skin.

What a waste.

Tycon glared at Lone with disapproval. Leaning towards him, he whispered, "Lulu is a Lust Demon. Don't ask what she's doing in the bushes."

Lone quickly glanced over to where he last saw Lulu, a tinge of red creeping onto his face. Tycon rolled his eyes, "Mister Barza."

Barza Keith, the Lone Shadowdark abruptly straightened his back. The look of guilt on his face was apparent.

"It's for your own good." Tycon sighed, "You might die if you sleep with her. Hm..."

« System, inquiry: Basic information for Lone. »

[System response: Lone Shadowdark, Bronze-Rank Human Warrior.]

"With a Bronze-Rank constitution, you'll definitely die if you sleep with Lulu," Tycon patted Lone on the shoulder.

Lulu popped out of a different bush, her face flushed and her naked clavicles revealed above the foliage, "Who's gonna sleep with me?"

Tycon grimaced, "I was telling Lone that he'll likely die if he sleeps with you."

"Oh, no! He won't!" Lulu smiled radiantly, two fanged incisors clear to see.

Tycon nodded slightly, noting that the girl's fangs were more prominent than his own. His were just painfully sharp, "And if he... copulates with you?"

"Ohhhh!~" Lulu nodded in understanding, "Yeah. He'll *definitely* die if we f*ck."

"That is all, young lady. You may return to your activities," Tycon shooed her away.

"Got it, Boss!" Lulu descended back into the darkness of the greenery.

Lone stared at the cookfire, steepling his fingers, contemplating his life choices.

...

Guild Invictus reached the Magic Tower on a dreary morning. The whitestone tower was built near the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean and topped with pointed spires colored the blue of the Kingdom.

Lone bent backward to take in the view of the tower in its entirety, "Whoa... Boss, that's the tallest building I've ever seen."

Sasha tugged on Tycon's sleeve, "Massssster.... How... err... (How do we know that it's a Magic Tower?)"

"Well... first off, it looks magical." Tycon explained matter-of-factly, "Regardless if it is, or not, the residing Magician within has intelligence enough to not be taken lightly.

"Then there's the fact that there are large floating spheres rotating near the tower's top."

"(They look as small as Sasarame!)" The chocolate elf exclaimed.

"Speak in Common, young lady," Tycon gently chided.

"The ballssss.... are... Sssssasha," The young girl had a difficult time.

Tycon ruffled Sasha's hair to get the clump to stick upward, "We'll work on it. You're learning well."

"Why's it so tall?" Lone asked.

Lulu rotated the paper parasol in her hands. It was the perfect size to shield herself and Sasha from the harsh light occasionally peering through the grey clouds. She continued to forgo shoes (something that Sasha was envious of) and wore a clean set of white cloth robes, tied at the waist with a thick red ribbon.

"Because Wizards have tiny cocks," Lulu explained nonchalantly. "So they like having biiiiiiiig towers."

Tycon narrowed his eyes, "Is that even remotely true?"

Lulu giggled, "I've seen a lot of penises, Boss."

Wolfrider shifted uneasily, "C-can we not talk about this?"

Tycon shook his head, "Penis envy aside, Wizards build towers as a status symbol. The higher the tower, the higher the mage's mastery of Circle-spells."

Lulu tilted her head, grinning, "Booooossss~ it hasn't been like that for ceeeeeenturies! Get with the times!"

Tycon crossed his arms, "Well... that's how it should be, anyroad."

Lone pat Tycon on the back, "It's okay, Boss. I didn't know, either."

"That reassures me very little, Mister Lone," Tycon scowled.

Lulu spun her parasol and addressed Lone, "Magic Towers are all-in-one structures: they have magical defense measures, they amplify ambient mana, and they showed how suuuuuper rich they are."

Tycon explained, "They're easy to defend. An increase in ambient mana has a beneficial effect on learning spells and techniques. And the wealth status of an individual or group of individuals is a deterrent against random attacks."

Lulu continued, "It was important because over a thousand years ago, 5th and 6th Circle Magicians were pretty common. The most powerful Magic Guilds and even solo Archmages had big ol' towers that meant Do Not Mess With Us or Explosions-- and it was respected, for the most part."

Lone reeled back in surprise, "What? Really? What happened?"

The demoness winked flirtatiously, "Humans happened."

Wolfrider sniffed the air, "Boss Tycon... someone's over there... a human, I think."

"Well..." Tycon placed his hand over the hilt of his cutlass, "Let's go see what she has to say."