Gardenia of Blooming Desire

Chapter 136: Mental Breakdown

Aster left the garden after Ramuja told everything about his mother's deed. If it was his naive self, he would refute all Ramuja's claim, because his mother could do no wrong.

But after knowing what his mother was capable of, he didn't even hesitate. When he saw Ramuja cried and hugged his leg tightly, he could feel the sincerity flowing from his eyes. It was his tears of desperation.

'Did he bear everything himself all these years? He let mother duchess abuse him that much, even making me hate him at some points, did he bear everything himself?'

'Why?'

Aster was unsure, because no one would bear such injustice for years. There were slaves and servants who complained when their works were too much, or when their masters were rude. But Ramuja was threatened, abused and kicked from the duchy, he bore his suffering alone.

Aster could feel his heart stuffed. He was agitated, because he couldn't imagine the pain Ramuja went through.

'I will protect him.'

Aster took a bath to calm himself. He opened the bathroom door after he was dressed up, and Jain was already kneeling in front of him. Jain's had a grim countenance, but he said nothing until Aster asked, "What's wrong?"

"Young Lord, may this subordinate tell something illogical?"

"Huh? What's the matter?"

"Young Lord, this subordinate has a feeling that you will go through an arduous road after you accept Ramuja."

Aster's eyes turned sharp, he frowned, "You are not happy with it?"

Jain raised his head, he could see the golden circle flickered when he expressed his dissatisfaction.

'Sure enough, he is Young Lord's golden circle.'

'Young Lord and the old master had the same fate of the golden circle, but I will make sure that he won't end up the same.'

Jain shook his head slowly and he smiled, "Young Lord, you are the master of my life. I will support and follow you wherever you lead us."

Aster's frown softened, but he still didn't understand why Jain said that before, "About me and Ramuja, I know that it will be hard. Because we are fighting against my mother now, Grand Duchess Camille of Stormhill. I know how powerful she was, but I must separate myself from her."

'Young Lord, you are destined to be the master of everyone. Whether there is Ramuja or not, you will have to do it eventually, but Ramuja is the catalyst for you to grow faster.'

Jain nodded and he reached Aster's hand, he kissed the back of the hand and recited his oath, "Young Lord, I will follow you until my demise. You are my precious master, the gem I shall protect."

Aster was surprised by Jain suddenly reciting an oath to him. But Jain looked serious and he held Aster's hand gently, he smiled and continued, "Young Lord, even if I die someday, I will make sure that you will stay protected, I will make sure that no one would ever hurt you."

"Jain, what's gotten into you?"

Jain only smiled mysteriously and kissed Aster's hand again. Then he disappeared. Aster was unsure what Jain had just implied, but somehow, there were uneasy feelings lingered in his heart.

"No, everything will be fine. I will separate myself from my mother with my money, and then start from the bottom, maybe becoming a baron first."

Aster tried to clear his uneasy feeling, but it only became worse.

***

Ramuja followed the training as usual, but today, he was exceptionally vigorous. A permanent smile pasted on his face, even Irion got creeped out because it was too weird. Other guards-in-training were dying out of exhaustion, but this slave only smiled the whole time.

Then continued to do the training even though Irion had not yet to give an order.

'Young Lord trusts me, he trusts me, hehe~'

Ramuja destroyed another brick with his fist, he already destroyed so many that he lost count. But he didn't mind it, it didn't even feel painful. Which made other guards envious and amazed at the same time.

'Maybe we will marry later, we can have our own home, hehe~'

Ramuja was giggling in his heart. He already imagined a good life with his master. But his daydream shattered when he heard Irion said, "You, slave, there is a girl searching for you."

"A girl?"

"Yes, also, the training has finished two hours ago," Irion said.

Ramuja looked around and he saw that he already destroyed many things, probably because he daydreamed so much, he didn't even realize how much he destroyed.

"TThen, yes sir, I'm going to meet her now!" Ramuja bowed his head and rushed to meet the girl outside, it was obviously Merry.

Ramuja was slightly nervous because he was afraid that Young Lord would notice his relationship with Merry, but as long as he could convince Merry that there were better men out there, she would break up with him naturally.

Merry was standing with an orange colored dress, it was obviously an expensive dress, which startled Ramuja.

"MMerry, where did you get the money to buy that dress?"

Merry giggled and replied, "Someone gave me extra money for the dress, what do you think? Isn't it pretty?"

"Yes, it really is," Ramuja complimented her. Because it was indeed pretty, her skin had tanned a bit after she worked in the city. The orange dress suited her dark hair and tanned skin beautifully. 

Merry blushed and giggled some more, then she hugged Ramuja's arm, "Let's go walking around the garden, the sun is setting, it must be beautiful!"

"I'm all sweaty and smelly"

"It's okay~ You are very manly like this, hihi!" Merry said.

Ramuja recalled Young Lord's schedule, he must be working on his document for grand duchy in Grand Duke's office, so he wouldn't know about this. Ramuja nodded and agreed to accompany Merry.

They walked around the garden until they stood in the same fountain where Ramuja and Young Lord sat together this morning.

"Ramuja, look here!" Merry twirled around with the dress, "Don't you think I look really good with it?"

"Yes, you do." Ramuja smiled. It was really like seeing his little sister showing off to his big brother. Since in Ramuja's heart, his feelings never developed more than that of 'brother and sister'.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Do it now~" Merry teased.

"Huh?" Ramuja frowned.

"You know, Grand Duchess said that you want to propose to me here! That's why I use this dress! Well, about our wedding, she even said that she would fund the wedding and end your slave contract when we are married!" Merry said cheerfully, she had been waiting for this. She could finally have her dream wedding like those nobles.

Ramuja felt the chill down his spine. He stared at Merry who twirled her dress happily. Obviously, this was a set-up made by Grand Duchess to force him out of the Grand duchy, out of Young Lord's life.

Ramuja gritted his teeth. He wouldn't leave Young Lord, and with their mutual feelings, there was no place for Merry.

Ramuja gulped, 'I can't lie to her anymore, she deserves more than me. She is a very capable girl'

'She shouldn't be marrying a man whose heart doesn't harbor her.'

Ramuja took a step back, he took a deep breath and said, "Merry... I think we need to break up."

Merry's countenance who was happy and jolly turned into fear, "What are you saying? Don't joke now, Ramuja."

"Merry, you deserve more than me. You are a beautiful and capable girl."

"What? If I'm beautiful and capable, why do you want to break up with me?! What is wrong with you?!"

Ramuja saw Merry's tears start flowing, but he couldn't stop here. Because it would just become a torture for both of them. Ramuja clenched his fist and said, "Merry, I've loved Young Lord Aster since the first day he bought me, and that feelings never change."

Merry started trembling, his lips trembled and she asked, "Young Lord Aster? But he is a high noble, you two cannot be together"

"I believe we can. I trust in him and I will follow him forever," Ramuja declared, "Merry, I will try to return all the money for the two years I lived with your family, please leave."

"Leave? I will not leave until you propose to me!" Merry screamed, "My family? It is OUR family! How could you say something so mean!"

"Merry, I appreciate the warmth your family has given to me, and I still want to be the part of your family, but I cannot marry you. So, for now, my only family is Young Lord Aster," Ramuja said. He lowered his gaze, because seeing Merry crying like this really hurt his conscience.

Merry trembled even more, "TThen, what am I to you? A little sister? I leave my home to work in Dionde City for you! I collected money slowly because I want to free you! Do you think my love is fake?"

"No, I believe your love is sincere" Ramuja said.

"But why can't you choose me?! Does Young Lord love you as much as me? He does not! He is a high aristocrat, think Ramuja! He will get bored with you! He might have already slept with many men and women!"

Ramuja became displeased when Merry started insulting his master, "He is pure, his love is pure and his heart is pure. Merry, please leave now."

Ramuja turned his back, but suddenly, Merry clawed his arm and jumped to him.

Merry kissed Ramuja desperately.

***

Aster was sitting in his mother duchess' balcony, he was staring at the scene below, when Ramuja and Merry entered the garden. Aster had some doubt in his heart, but knowing how sincere Ramuja was, he was still calm and collected.

Merry twirled her dress around, and Ramuja smiled. They couldn't hear anything down there, but Ramuja was passive the whole time. Aster had some assurance in his heart, 'I see that Ramuja is not into Merry.'

"Mother, if this is what you want to show me, I believe that they are just a brother and sister. This is a waste of time."

Grand Duchess smiled, she hit the balcony rail with her fan and said, "Look again."

Aster saw Merry start crying and said something to Ramuja, they started arguing over something. Aster's heartbeat quickened, there was a sudden panic in his heart, which he tried to pacify.

They were arguing, but Aster couldn't hear anything, until he heard Merry screamed.

"Leave? I will not leave until you propose to me!"

Aster gulped, his mind was in chaos right now. He still wished that it was just a blunder. But then, he saw at that moment, in the same spot where he and Ramuja kissed before.

Merry kissed Ramuja.

Aster was stunned. His body froze on the spot, there was a sudden heatwave in his body, from his leg, his stomach, his arm, his heart, his neck, and his head. The heat only grew more and more painful for him. Aster clenched his fist to reduce the pain, but the pain slowly numbed him.

Grand Duchess saw that his son's pupils turned golden, then black again and again, it was really similar to five-years old Aster when Grand Duchess had to traumatize him in order for him to forget about a dog. Grand Duchess leaned to her son's ear and whispered.

'Ramuja and Merry have been dating for years behind your back, he lied to you the whole time.'

Aster could feel another sudden wave around his body, it was really cold that he could feel his skin getting frostbitten. Then a heatwave and cold wave surrounded his body consecutively. His gaze got blurred, the last thing he said was, "Lied to me?'

With that, Aster fell unconscious.

**Please read Author's Note**