Chapter 345 - Spilling Heart
Gael was gone for more than six hours, leaving Angela by herself. The big apartment felt so lonely without him. The feeling of his arms around her was such a relief that she melted in his embrace, inhaling his scent as if wanting to get her fill for missing him while he was away.
Waking up and seeing him next to her washed away her worries, especially when he pulled her to him.
"Are you still mad at me?" she spoke against his skin, her voice muffled on his neck.
"Look at me. I wanna see your face." He lifted her chin toward him so that they were looking at each other. Brushing stray hair away from her face, he leaned in and planted his lips on hers. His kiss was gentle and soft, sending tingles down her spine. As he pulled back, their gazes locked, and he released a sigh before speaking again.
"I didn't like it when I saw him kissing you. It was anything but friendly."
Angela furrowed her brows. "It was on the cheek, and I backed away…"
"You hesitated. And you were strange when you talked. You couldn't look at him…or me—like you were guilty of something."
"Is that what you think?"
Gael sighed, shifting backward so that he leaned against the couch's backrest, keeping his hands on her waist. "Unless you tell me what happened between you two, all I'll be thinking about is that you still like him."
She sucked on her bottom lip, contemplating her response. After a moment, she probed, "Will you promise to keep an open mind and let me explain?"
He scanned her expression as if wanting to catch any clues as to what she would tell him. Then he nodded.
Lowering her head, Angela focused on the buttons of his shirt, absent-mindedly touching one as she began, "After what happened with Evan at the club almost seven years ago, it took me some time to go back out there and meet people again. I couldn't trust men because of what he did to me. So I unknowingly picked out anything—even the tiniest, most mundane things that I'd find annoying. Like… They looked hunched when walking, or chewing with his mouth open, or he wore too much perfume. There was this guy… He was okay, I guess, but he texted in all caps. It annoyed the hell out of me. I found myself finding reasons not to like these men, so I thought maybe I just wasn't cut out for dating."
Gael remained quiet as he listened, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and sliding his hand on her arm, stroking her as if encouraging her to continue.
"Anyway… fast forward three years later. I got to work with Andy at Dad's company. He's one of Oliver's friends, so I already knew him before. We went on a few casual dates—not exclusively. We both saw other people for a while. Then I guess we just stopped seeing other people and hung out more often. I then realized that… I didn't or couldn't find any reason not to like him like I did with the others. Andy was—and I'm saying this as per Nina's and other women's words—Andy's perfect."
His jaw ticked, and a crease between his brows started to form. "Do you also think he's perfect?"
"I mean…I guess he was… As per women's common standard for what they think a perfect guy to date is anyway. Andy ticked all of them. And we never fought. I didn't find anything annoying in his character. He didn't get mad—"
"I get it. Something I'm not. I'm the exact opposite." Gael rolled his eyes as if thinking nothing was going his way.
Angela eyed him. "Just… Let me finish."
"Fine."
"So… One time, Andy started telling me about his plans for the future, and he planned to come here to New York and work under his father. And...he wanted me to come with him."
Gael tightened his jaw, and it took him a few beats before he asked, "Did you want to?"
She shook her head. "I couldn't leave Mayne. My family and friends are there. And we haven't been dating that long. Sure, I knew him longer than I dated him, but I just couldn't see myself leaving my whole life and starting a new one in a different state."
"Is that why you broke up with him? Because you can't move?"
Angela swallowed, her fingers clenching together. "That and something that Evan told me after the incident years ago."
"What did the fucker say?" Gael knitted his brows, his expression morphing from curiosity to anger in a split second.
"Evan knew about my mom leaving us and figured out I was always hung up about being abandoned by someone I loved. When I didn't want to meet up with him after the whole fiasco at the club, he told me that no one would ever want me because I'm broken. That…people wouldn't want to be with me because I'm not good enough. Texts… Letters... He told me he'll break me until no one else would ever want to be with me except him."
Gael closed his eyes briefly, his grip tightening on her waist as though he tried to control himself. Even if she didn't say it, he knew that she was referring to that disturbing video of her getting assaulted. "I swear to god I will break every bone in his body when I get my hands on him."
Angela rested her hands on his chest, and there was a minute of silence where they looked into each other's eyes. She didn't want to talk about Evan anymore, so she steered the wheel back. "I was already in a bad place even before what Evan did to me on that video. His words were a constant reminder in my head, so when Andy talked about moving to New York, I couldn't help but think that we wouldn't last. That eventually, something was bound to happen that would break us apart. That a time would come that he'll be the one to find a reason not to like me, and I couldn't possibly let that happen while I'm a thousand miles away from my home. Andy would have been the right person because of who he was, but he just…wasn't right for me. I didn't feel it."
Silence hung in the air, circulating and punctuating what Angela had opened up to Gael. She only meant to tell him that Andy was someone from her past that was no longer part of her present and won't be in her future. But instead, it led up to opening a can of worms, and those worms were now scattered everywhere. It felt liberating—at the same time scary that she spoke about Evan's emotional and mental abuse to her. As much as she could, she wanted to stay far away from remembering the scars from the past.
"What about me?"
She lifted her gaze and met his curious greys. "Huh?"
"You're telling me McCarthy wasn't right for you. What about me? Am I right for you?"
Angela's heart thundered in her chest. It felt like fists repeatedly slammed against her ribcage. How was she supposed to answer that? How could she know the answer?
Gael's warm hand slid on the side of her face, cupping her cheek. "Tell me. Am I?"
Yes. She swallowed the massive lump in her throat, unable to spit the words out of her mouth. "I… I want you to be."
He took a deep breath and nodded. "Is that all? Is there something else you want to tell me about McHandsy?"
"McHandsy?" She arched her brow. "You mean McCarthy…" Letting out a sigh, she concluded her tale, "Seeing him today, like I said, surprised me. I hadn't seen him in a long time, and I was reminded of how I ended things with him. Somehow, I guess I felt…awkward that we met in New York, the city that he invited me to move to. And then he learned I'm your girlfriend while we're in New York."
He cocked a brow. "You didn't want to hurt him?"
"Look… I may not have liked him as much as he liked me, but Andy is a good person. I didn't want him to feel disheartened after finding that out. As cliche as it sounds… I'd want him to know that it's not him; it's me."
Gael pulled her closer. "Come here." Then he pressed a kiss on her lips. "Let's not talk about him anymore."
"So…you understand me now?"
He nodded. "I still don't like him now that I know your past with him."
"But you're no longer mad at me?"
"I'm more mad about what I saw… How he acted with you. I just can't bear seeing other men around you like that. I wanted to break his face and burn his hands and lips for touching you. I don't like others touching what's mine."
Angela bit her bottom lip as she hooked her arms around his neck. "I am yours."
"That you are." He claimed her lips again, kissing her like it was his life mission. "And baby?"
"Yeah?"
Gael brushed his thumb over her bottom lip. "Even if I'm the wrong man for you, I'll wreak havoc on earth until I become the right one."