Eternal Saṃsāra: The Wanderer of Worlds

[129] Blue as the Sky, Sunburned and Lonely, Sipping Tea in the Bar by the Roadside

Chapter 129: Blue as the Sky, Sunburned and Lonely, Sipping Tea in the Bar by the Roadside

—

We drove around Japan for hours. Ai was an inexperienced driver, but she refused to let me drive. Not that I minded, her slim waist was a fine piece to grab for hours to end. 

Thankfully, as a fast learner, she caused no further accidents. She did have a few close calls, but we managed.

For lunch, we stopped at a cheap roadside restaurant and grabbed Champon. After we filled our tummies, we were on our way once again. This time, I finally managed to sit back in the driving seat.

“So where does mother dearest want to go next?” I asked as I put my helmet on.

“Where did you take Tsubasa to? Take me to those places too. To begin with, I asked for a bike date to visit the places you took her to. So take me to those places.” she said as she sat behind me, her arms wrapping around my chest. It was a warm feeling.

“Hey, you realize you sound like you're competing with Tsubasa right now?” I said and she slapped my back.

“Not at all. I'm just making sure that the places you two went to are safe. Well safe for Tsubasa, you'll be fine I'm sure. Poor girl, I feel bad for her, she got dealt by the short end of the stick because of LoveMy.” She said, “Not only did her man get stolen by three girls, she's not even officially his girlfriend.”

“Oh…” I paused. So she knew of Tsubasa and my relationship?

“Yes, I've been knowing things,” Ai said, pinching my ears. “I just didn't know how to confront you on this since you're a philanderer by nature, it's nothing new to you anyway.”

“Fair.”

“You probably don't even care about them either, having lived as long as you- ah.”

I turned to look at her and she paused. Due to my helmet, she couldn't see my expression, and I'm glad she didn't. The disappointment in my face, to hear something like that from her, would have hurt her.

I turned ahead, let out a sigh, and pulled the throttle. The bike roared and shot like a bullet. The wind hit our helmets as we continued our drive, but this time in silence.

* * *

In the evening, we stopped at a magical place. Lake Kawaguchi. I hadn't come here with Tsubasa, but we came nearby. Since I was here with Ai, I didn't want to miss the sunset of this place.

The Mt. Fuji was a clear picture from here as the sun smiled above it. The evening sun was descending in the west as it cast an otherworldly light over the world.

We took off our helmets and watched it. Ai got off the bike, but I remained atop it, my eyes focused on the mountain.

Goddess Sakurahime, the Goddess of Mt. Fuji was at the peak of that mountain. If I was with someone other than Ai, I'd have gone to visit her. But I didn't want to waste this date’s limited yet precious time.

In silence, Ai and I watched the sun dip behind a mountain range. The world's light retracted and the moon's darkness began to sweep over us.

A gentle wind fluttered the leaves, as well as my blonde hair. Ai’s hair fluttered more as she turned around to face me, a hesitant look on her face, “...Are you mad at me?”

  “No,” I said. “Why will I be mad?”

“You've been all silent the entire ride, as well as the last couple of minutes,” with a soft tone, she said.

“Well, it's safer to drive without talking all the time. As for the sunset, it was too breathtaking to interrupt. I'm talking to you now, am I not?” I told her.

“Yet you're talking in such a… flat tone. So dry.” She said, “I… I’m sorry, Aqua. I shouldn't have said that.”

I sighed, “No need to apologize for that, it is a common thing to assume. If I'm as old as you think I am,” and I doubt she realized just how old I truly am, “it's understandable to assume I may not have the heart left to love someone new.”

“W-which clearly isn't true, since you're here with me, so I shouldn't have said such a stupid thing.” She walked up to me and looked into my eyes, “Instead, I think… it rather shows how much you care. Because of the effort you make yourself go through to please them, to create genuine interactions. Despite having done it over and over again, if all you wanted was body and not heart, you could have gotten more than one can count anytime.”

“You're thinking too much, mom.” I said and gently pulled her closer to me. I put my chin over her head and held her close. “You aren't entirely wrong… If not then, I'd have found it easy to settle with a single woman. I try, I tried this time too, to not make my love life into a harem, but here we are.”

“Oh…”

“The life of a normal man becomes full when he finds a partner. Interactions, exclusive and intimate conversations, sharing each other’s sadness and happiness, as well as problems, are what completes life. I think. However, for as old as I am and as many girls I have been with so far, all the aforementioned qualities fall short when implemented into a single partner. Plus, it feels good and life feels busier, fuller, when you have many partners to help grow their lives, to make them happy all at once.” I explained in a soft, slow tone as the moon began to shine over our heads. “Might be hard to understand for you but… yes, that's what I believe.”

I went silent at that, and Ai remained the same in my arms. She relaxed into my hold and stayed like that for minutes.

Finally, she raised her head to look up at me. This time, she knew she didn't need to foolishly apologize, “Thank you for telling me that, Aqua,” she said. “I will remember that.”

I smiled, “Anytime, mother.”

“I want to hear a lot more about you,” she hesitated. “Will you tell me?” she asked gently and pulled me by the arm. I didn’t resist as she dragged me near a tree, pushing me to sit under it. Then she hesitated once more, pausing, before sitting between my legs. “I'm curious,” she said, “So you never had only a single partner in any of your life? Not even as the Emperor? Was the Empress alone not good enough?”

I put my arms around her and kissed her nape. She gulped but showed no reaction, she knew I'd do that if she put herself like this to me. She's so cute.

“Mhm let's see,” I pondered her question. 

I did have only one partner in some of my lives; namely, in my 4th life as a Hermit, as well as my 5th life as the Eternal Sorcerer. Though if we're talking about my 5th life, I did sleep around in a few of the loops, but my heart remained for Emmanuel till the very end, I was never with anyone else when I was with her. 

As for my 7th life as the Emperor, I slept around sometimes, stone-age ladies were hot, as well as queens and future celebrities, but as that life grew, I lost the general feeling of lust. So by the time I met my Empress, it didn’t take much to become loyal to her. Even if, now and then, I'd relish myself with variety, there was no romantic feeling involved there, and I was never actually together with those girls, so it wasn't a harem.

I guess that's it, that's the only three lives where by the end I only had one woman in my heart. Although, there is the exception that is my 8th life where I had no one in my heart… but that's different.

I pondered how I should answer Ai. It's not a good idea to tell her everything, all at once. We have the time of the world to have these conversations later on, it’s not good to tell her about everything too early. For example, I would rather not tell Ai about my mother, Emmanuel Draconia Knightsbane—Ai will get seriously jealous, and might even receive a blow to her self-esteem.

In the end, I decided with a nod, “Fine, I'll tell you about my life as a hermit.”

“What?” Ai turned her head around in shock, “You were a hermit?!”

I chuckled, hugged her tightly from behind, and told her the story.

* * *

“That’s… such a sad end.” Ai turned her head backward as she stared into my eyes.

…I finished narrating my 4th life; where I turned my blind disciple into a Demoness to save her life, as she was injured after killing the Heavenly Demon. She hated that development, she hated all demons, so she killed me too. But for all her rage, she was a girl in love, so the way she chose to kill me was my only intercourse in that life. As a hermit, that broke my oath, and I passed away in satisfaction while her tears rained over my face.

“I feel so sorry for the both of you,” Ai said. “I… Haah,” she turned around in my lap and pulled my head into her bosom. “I am sorry that you had to go through all that, Aqua.”

I smiled, “It's not as if it's your fault, don't apologize. Besides, it's not a bad ending. It's not as if I died by some bad guy for her character development or something. Since I'd have died one day anyway, I'm glad it ended with us becoming one.”

“Do you miss her?”

“Sometimes,” I said. “I never had a real disciple before. And I told you I took care of her from an early age, so I was quite attached to her.”

Ai stayed silent and ruffled my hair as she held me in her arms. I didn't need it, I was not feeling emotionally weak sharing this story, but it felt good anyway. I wrapped my arms around her waist and breathed in her scent.

“You know,” I said, “That is the life when I decided to not care about social taboos if I liked a person enough…” 

It was taboo to sleep with your disciple, that was one of the main reasons I didn't sleep with her— both for myself and her reputation. Of course, I still had the oath, but if I didn't care about the social taboo, I would have made losing my oath a goal, and after succeeding, I could have lived longer with that girl…

“So during my next life, I began to break social taboos without care, as long as they fit my emotions. I think everyone should follow that, life is more fulfilling that way.” I told Ai, who maintained a calm rhythmic breathing in my arms. “That remains true to date. That's why…” My hands slowly lowered from her firm waist to rest on her soft ass, as I raised my head to look at her. “I don't hide my romantic feelings for you.”

“....”

“I love you, mom.”

That was a clear confession, there was no misunderstanding in that statement. I met her pink, starry eyes with my blue starry ones, as hers trembled like the waves on a gentle lake. Ai gulped, her lips shaking as she wondered how to answer, and I noticed a sense of fear in the corner of her eyes.

I wondered what she feared. She liked me, both as her son and also as a man—it’s obvious to me by now. Then what did she fear? Did she fear social taboo, even after the story I told her? Or did she fear how our relationship would change if she gave in?

Or… did she fear me?

I gently let go of her body, as well as the emotional baggage she must feel from that question, and stood up. “Let’s get moving. It’s getting late, we should return.”

-「Three little birds sat on my window, And they told me I didn't need to worry… Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet, Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.」

The sky sang gently as I started up the bike. A new Icon was blooming to connect to my soul, and surprisingly, it was an Icon I didn’t recognize—yet something that felt so close to my existence. What an odd feeling.

-「Girl, put your records on, Tell me your favorite song, You go ahead, let your hair down… Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams, Just go ahead, let your hair down. You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.」

Why is the Icon singing…? I’m not strong enough for an Icon to sing, yet here it is; it means this one’s extremely overpowered, one that’s also really close to me, yet I’m certain I don’t recognize it. 

“What is that sound, Aqua?” Ai slipped into my backseat and asked slowly, looking up at the sky. I felt embarrassed to admit that it was an Icon, something that sang for no reason depending on the host’s mood. 

It’s odd how, for all the signs that this was an incredibly powerful Icon, it’s singing [Put Your Records On] as if it’s the ‘Love Icon’. Who gave it the right to romanticize this situation? Who made this thing anyway?

I lied, “No idea, mom.”

My bike shot through the highway as the song persistently followed me just like the moon above it. Ai gently rested her head on my back as we streaked through.

-「Blue as the sky, sunburned and lonely, Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside.」

* * *

The sound of rain dancing against the earth filled our ears, a gentle reminder of nature's presence as the bike moved under it. The rain, relentless in its descent, cloaked the world in a hazy, liquid veil, transforming the roads and landscape into a shimmering tableau of light and shadow.

Just to put it out of the way, the rain did not come because I was heartbroken after a rejection. It’s natural—or maybe something supernatural, I don’t know. It’s not me.

Our bike sliced through the damp air, its tires hissing softly on the wet asphalt. The raindrops peppered my visor and jacket, a refreshing, entirely welcome, sensation that spoke of the inherent wildness of our journey.

To keep Ai protected, I had conjured a shield of wind around us, a bubble of calm that repelled the rain for the most part and kept us dry. I kept it thicker around Ai and thinner around me; I liked the rain, there was a certain thrill to this ride through the storm, a feeling of being alive and at one with the rain that fell so freely from the sky.

We darted through the rainy road, our bike's engine a comforting rumble beneath us. The cool, rain-infused air was a balm to the senses, bringing with it the earthy scent of wet soil and the promise of renewal. Our passage kicked up a misty wake, a fleeting signature on the wet canvas of the road.

But then Ai's voice, soft and cautious, cut through the rhythm of the rain. "Aqua," she said, signaling a desire to pause in our journey through this liquid world. I responded to her unspoken request, easing the throttle and guiding us to the sanctuary provided by the tree's outstretched limbs.

We came to a stop under the banner of a large tree, with city lights in the distance, and at that, the rain around us seemed to intensify. Sheltered beneath the tree, I made the windshield denser and looked back at her.

“Yes, mom?”

“It’s chilly,” she said. “It’s late too. The road is dangerous; if not for us then for those who might accidentally collide with us. So I say… let’s find a hotel for the night, we can return home tomorrow morning.”

I stared at her helmet for a few seconds, unable to see her expression. Then I nodded and turned ahead again. The bike roared one last time as it carried us to the city ahead, where we lodged into a hotel under fake identities.

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Link: /Master4thWall