Dao of the Bizarre Immortal

Chapter 248 - Show Off

Yang Xiaohai woke up from his dreams and looked at the cowhide tent above him, and then inexplicably chuckled to himself.

A stinky foot suddenly kicked over from beside him. “Do you want to die? What are you doing lying in bed and laughing so early in the morning?”

Yang Xiaohai sat up and looked excitedly at Puppy, who had his eyes closed and was rubbing his nose. “Senior Cao Cao, we don’t have to do anything now, and we still get to eat meat every day. Shouldn’t we be happy?”

This was genuine meat, and he had never eaten so much of it in his entire life. Even the Emperor may not be living such a grand life.

“Look at you, getting so happy over just a few meals. Kids will always be kids,” sighed Puppy.

He was different; he had higher aspirations.

After a moment, Puppy got off the bed and patted the snoring Gao Zhijian’s leg. “Simpleton, get up. We’ll likely be leaving in the next few days.”

“We’re leaving so soon?” Yang Xiaohai asked reluctantly.

“Senior Li has cured his hysteria, and so leaving is next. Why, did you plan to live here forever?” asked Puppy.

Yang Xiaohai frowned and mumbled, “It’s not a bad idea.”

“Hey! Do you think that this is your own home? You’re just a guest here! That’s why the others are treating you so well. If you stay any longer, then they are going to start throwing plates and stools at you,” said Puppy.

After lecturing Yang Xiaohai, Puppy saw that Gao Zhijian was still asleep. After a moment, he lifted the blanket and grabbed Gao Zhijian’s pants, and then abruptly yanked them downward.

Puppy sniggered as he saw the half-asleep Gao Zhijian frantically grab his pants, and then headed outside the tent. After he stepped out, he walked barefoot into the river and began to carefully wash up.

He hadn’t been so diligent before, but Xiaoman had told him that women liked clean men, and so he started to maintain his hygiene.

“Your face has white and yellow patches, and you look like a rat. If you also appear messy, then you might as well just die.”

This was what Chun Xiaoman had told him originally.

Puppy had thought about it and felt that she had a point. Hence, he had started to groom himself more.

Surprisingly, after he started to take care of his appearance more, some of the women from the bandit camp had become a lot more willing to talk to him.

Puppy knew that he had to work harder; after all, there were also those men from the Qing Qiu tents that had started to show interest in those women, making him more anxious.

It was not a problem for him to pick from amongst the leftovers, but he was afraid that they would all be selected, and he would be left with nobody.

After cleaning up thoroughly, he untied his belt and let out a stream of urine into the river. Then, he took out a crumpled up red flower from his pocket and placed it on his ear before swaggering back toward the tents.

After he entered the camp, Puppy noticed Li Huowang’s figure. He was just about to greet him, but noticed that Li Huowang was messing around with his horrifying torture tools that were scattered everywhere.

Ah... Senior Li, what are you planning to do again?

Puppy was not going to invite misfortune for himself, and thus quietly decided to tiptoe past him.

He did not go directly to the women’s tents, and first came to the entrance of the Lu Family Troupe’s tent, and then whispered from outside, “Xiucai! Xiucai!”

“Ah! Coming, coming!” replied a voice.

Not long after, Lu Xiucai came out with a milk mustache and said, “Let’s go. I’m done eating.”

The two of them walked together as they walked toward the women’s tents.

“How is it? Is my flower nice?” asked Puppy.

“Men shouldn’t wear flowers. Only women should,” replied Lu Xiucai.

“Why can’t men wear them? Where I’m from, men who bring flowers often attract young ladies,” retorted Puppy.

When they arrived outside the women's tents, they didn't enter immediately, and only quietly waited outside.

However, their mouths never stopped as they squatted there and discussed which women were the prettiest, or who had the biggest butts or assets. Although their relationship was not particularly close, they had a lot to talk about on such matters.

As the sun gradually climbed higher into the sky, those women finally emerged. Each of them was carrying their clothes as they walked toward the river to wash up.

“Ah, here they are! Hurry, follow them!” said Puppy. Then, he spat into his palms and combed his sideburns before laughing and following behind them.

The women weren’t afraid when they saw the two men approach them in such a lively manner. They just gathered around and seemed to discuss something while occasionally bursting into laughter.

“Uh~! Under the moonlit willow tree, people gather uh.. at noon!”

Lu Xiucai’s sudden voice caused Puppy to jump, and also attracted the attention of those women.

“Xiucai, what did you say?” asked Puppy.

“I don’t know either, I only know that line. My dad said that women these days prefer cultured men,” replied Lu Xiucai.

Hearing this, Puppy looked at him with disdain, then swiped the flower on his ear, and continued to grin as he walked toward the women.

Soon, they arrived at the river side, and Puppy really found himself chatting with the women.

Having spent so many days together, these women had all learnt that Puppy was just all talk.

At the start, Puppy had thought that his words had worked. However, after some time, he understood that they were all only asking about Gao Zhijian.

At that point, a bunch of Qing Qiu men with bare arms rode their horses and whooshed by, attracting the attention of the women.

After circling around, one of them suddenly led his horse through the water and smiled at a big-mouthed lady before extending his hand toward her.

“Hurry, this man is not bad! Look at those muscles!”

“Right, Lan’er. Didn’t you say you were interested in him last night?”

“We can’t afford to be picky, Lan’er.”

When Lan’er was led onto the horse, the crowd, be it male or female, all started to cheer, except for one.

“What’s the big deal?!” Puppy felt frustrated.

“Uh~! Under the moonlit willow tree, people gather uh.. at noon!” shouted Lu Xiucai.

“Alright, Xiucai, stop howling! Has anyone even glanced at you after an entire hour of howling?” asked Puppy as he looked condescendingly at the young man beside him. He suddenly felt that he shouldn’t have partnered with him today; he was completely useless.

I don’t believe it. I can’t be overshadowed by that dark, short guy!

Puppy paused, then took out a small wooden pipe from his waist, and a needle wrapped with white silk. He inserted the needle into the pipe. “Cough, cough! Ladies, watch closely. This is a skill that I learned from a true master. This is a supernatural ability~”

As everyone’s eyes turned to him, Puppy felt proud of himself, and began to show off with the pipe.

Hehe~ What’s the big deal about horse riding? Can it compare to this?

“Look closely, don’t blink! This is not something that just anyone can see!” said Puppy as he led over a sheep and placed the wooden pipe at his mouth before pointing it toward the sheep’s head and taking a deep breath.

The next moment, his face turned red, as he frantically clutched at his neck.

“Ka~ Ka~~”