Collide Gamer

Chapter 174 – Fifteen minutes of silence.

The couple arrived back at the house a while, and a side-track to get a laptop for John, later. Without a key, he had faced momentary panic, but quickly was reminded of the fact that he had two nice girls on the inside of the house. John had Aclysia open the door from the inside. “Welcome back, Master,” Aclysia greeted him and stood waiting, hands folded in front of her waist, holding a salver. “May I help you with anything?”

“You can tell me where you got that?” John pointed at the circular metal thing.

“Her grace has handed it to me; she told me that it worked nicely with my outfit,” Aclysia explained.

‘Her grace? Is that another one of Lydia’s requests or Aclysia’s internet fuelled manners breaking through again?’ he asked himself but his mind was quickly taken off by his tempest elemental making her appearance.

Sylph twirled into real space in a playful pirouette. A light-hearted flute melody, accompanied by streaks of green energy and the smell of a flower field, filled the entrance. The last note was way off however and Sylph froze in her display.

“Maaaaan,” she lamented, “I had this all planned out, it was really hard, you know, like, super hard. Concentrating that hard on mana is super boring, but I still did it for that awesome entrance and then that note is just off, it was an URRRRGH when I want more a haaaaaaah, like, super annoying, superbly annoying. Superb, what a weird word. Super-b, Supper-b, soup, supply, store…store…RIGHT MY GUMMY BEAR!” Her mind had finally wrapped back around to what she wanted in the first place. In a streak of motions, she circled around her summoner.  “Hey, hey, listen, can I have it, can I have it like now? Please? Pretty please?”

“Just a moment longer,” John promised as he was about to get into the living room.

Rave stopped him by tapping on his shoulder. “I’ll be laying down for a bit,” she informed him, words underlined by a yawn. “Feeling sleepy. Beer and food and jet-lag and stuff.”

“Sure, I’ll wake you up if anything important happens,” he assured her and the techno-lover walked upstairs.

In the living room he found Mono, sitting in her usual spot. Well, to be exact, it looked like she was sitting in her usual spot. With the room being set-up the same way as the one in the house John had left yesterday (albeit a bit bigger), it was difficult to draw a distinction. Even the couch was the same, so John took a seat on the comfortable piece of furniture. Out of excuses, he pulled the green box from his inventory and placed it on the low table in front of him.

Sylph was instantly at work. Using precise air attacks, she cut open the plastic seals that held the box closed. “Open iiiiiit!” she demanded, bouncing up and down in the air, like a hyper-active kid in a rocking chair. With no other choice available, John obeyed and pulled open the lid. Next, he took out the plastic encasing that protected the gummy bear from going stale. Slowly, he pulled off that second layer of protection and now it lay in front of him.

Surrounded by a square arrangement of smaller Christmas sweets, in front of John, laid a giant, red gummy bear. Sylph’s feelings about this were so strong that they started mixing with his own. “H-he…” the tempest elemental whispered and flew closer.

Her hand ran over the ruby red surface, the small bumps that were meant to represent arms. The gummy bear's cute little snout. Little to John at the very least; to Sylph, it was a worthy adversary in terms of size. The lips carved into the gelatinous body showed a wide, split smile and in the surprisingly detailed eyes reflected ultimate kindness and understanding. From the round ears to the stubby feet, the gummy bear understood that its sole purpose in life was to be delicious.

“He is perfect,” Sylph said.

“He?” John had to ask.

“Yes…Marvin, his name is Marvin,” Sylph told him like it was the most natural thing in the world. “I…I cannot eat him!”

“What?!” That was Salamander who appeared now, “You are annoying us with that for HOURS and DAYS, and now you are saying you can’t eat it?!”

“Look at him,” Sylph said and gestured at the cute, shiny sweet. “What monster would I be to eat such an innocent creature!”

“You would shut the fuck up for some time, which is just about all I care about!” the blaze elemental announced. How genuine she was about wanting Sylph to be quiet was always questionable, considering how much the two of them interacted when the fire spirit could have flown to anywhere else in the house.

“Uhm,” Gnome, who had also stepped into reality again, softly interjected, “Sylph, if you don’t eat it, it will become stale and gross. You really shouldn’t…”

“Shaddup, Gmean!” the tempest elemental shouted and pulled Marvin from his box, hugging him tightly. “I am not eating him and that’s that!”

“Well, then I will melt him to take my aggressions out on something!” Salamander announced and a fire ignited in her right palm.

“Try me, Sally!” Sylph stuck out her tongue. The tempest elemental shone blue from within as Salamander charged her attack and then threw a fireball at Sylph. The air spirit sped away so fast that Salamander’s attack only hit a piece of plastic, the blaze elemental couldn’t even react until Sylph was already on her way out of the room.

“GET BACK HERE YOU BLABBERING BUFFOON!” the blaze elemental screamed and flew after her.

John rubbed the bridge of his nose as the smell of burnt plastic reached it. “This is even worse than the worst-case scenario I imagined,” he mumbled. He had expected Sylph to go into some ultimate sugar rush state and start speaking at lightning speed or tap into some parallel dimension, but now he had two elementals running rampant, in a house he was only a guest in. Worse yet, one of those loved to play with, and literally was, fire. “Gnome, Aclysia, could you do me the favour and make sure that nothing gets broken?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Of course, Master,” these two agreed and went after the troublemakers. Through the mental connection, John kept tabs on everything.

The hunt was on, and Sylph had the initial advantage. Not only was she several times faster by nature, but the fact that she was a straight-out better breed of elemental meant that her stat-line was higher. Furthermore, as Sylph continued to use her powers she discovered more and more uses for them.

What she had done in the living room, charging herself with lightning for an explosive burst of speed, was one of those new uses. As strong as that technique was, however, it was also very intense on her mana, and, after her display at the entrance earlier, she had been short already. That, combined with the fact that she was carrying a gummy bear the size of herself, meant that the distance between herself and her still fully-charged and unhindered sister was shrinking by the second.

“Stop it, Sylph!” Salamander shouted.

The tempest elemental didn’t think about listening to her buzzkill of a bitchy sister. Turning a tight curve, Sylph was now back on her way to the living room, a green streak of light. Sylph knew that her sister wasn’t as nimble as she was, Salamander would have to fly a wider curve, giving Sylph some room to build-up her distance again. Her fiery sister had her own tricks up her sleeve, however. Sure, she wasn’t as agile as Sylph, but, by using a quick burst of fire to change her trajectory, Salamander took the corner just as well as the air spirit did.

“Never, ever, will I give up Marvin! He is my soulmate!” Sylph shouted while using what little mana she had left to open the door that led back to the living room. With a gust of wind, Sylph burst back through, quickly dodging the hand of her oldest sister, Gnome, who had been waiting to catch her.

Gnome was many things, cute, responsible, a moving rock, but quick was not one of them. Even with the massive hindrance in her arms, Sylph easily dodged the catching attempt and escaped through her sister’s legs. She even had enough time to affirm that Gnome was, once again, not wearing panties. If she had had the mana for it, Sylph would have flipped her skirt now, but there were bigger worries.

“Stop being such an idiot, Sylph!”

“NEVERRRRRRRR,” Sylph shouted back. “If idiocy is what it takes to be happy I will be dumb until the world dies, yes, let me babble and drabble for I am Sylph, the happiest, chirpiest elemental on Airter! Did you know that I have 700 followers? I would say that is quite the achievement, I mean, all I do is talk the whole day and they re-air all of it.”

“I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR FUCKING TWITTER HISTORY!”

“Airter! It’s Airter!” Sylph corrected the blaze elemental and threw out a few drops of rain in her path. The liquid collided straight with Salamander, who was blinded for a moment as the water vaporized on her face.

With that little advantage, Sylph quickly vanished into the nearest room. That turned out to be a mistake. The kitchen she found herself in had no other doors she could flee through. She couldn’t go back; Salamander was too close. Her eyes fell on an arrangement of washed but not yet stored away kitchen utensils. She managed to hide inside a pot, closing the lid over her and Marvin. She isolated her thoughts far from Salamander’s, so that the blaze elemental wouldn’t be able to find her using their shared connection to John and spied out of a little gap.

Salamander came to a sudden halt in the kitchen and looked around. “Where are you now, Sylph?” she shouted, “Just so you know that was a dick move, for that alone I will scorch that gummy bear until you can use him in a coal plant.”

“Don’t worry,” the tempest elemental whispered to Marvin, “She will never find us here; she is way too impatient to search through every pot. Although I wouldn’t either. I mean that is, like, super annoying, ultra to be more precise, maybe even mega. I would probably just start using wind magic and…”

“If you don’t want to come out!” Salamander announced and created a giant ball of fire over her head, “I will smoke you out of hiding!”

Sylph stared at her deadly determined (but mostly pissed off) sister. “Don’t worry Marvin,” the tempest elemental said, “I will protect you until the end.”

“You have three more seconds before I turn this whole kitchen into a burning hell! Three!” Sylph turned to hug Marvin, “Two!” she could feel the heat radiating from her sister, “On-“ A loud bell-like sound, followed by a scream of pain ended the countdown.

Sylph peeked outside to find Aclysia, who had smacked Salamander over the head with her newly acquired salver. The Artificial Guardian grabbed the stunned Salamander and held her close. The blaze elemental tried to wind herself out or become incorporeal but she was unable to flee from the Touch of the Abyss. “What’s the big de-?” she started to ask but stopped herself when she looked up. Even Sylph, in her safe hiding place, gulped.

“Never threaten my kitchen,” Aclysia’s voice was as cold and smooth as a blade on a winter night. Her wide-open, green eyes had lost all of her usual kindness. Whatever anger Salamander had felt paled next to the rage she was now the target of. “Never.”

“Y-yes, madam,” Salamander quietly agreed, and the hand around her opened.

“Out,” Aclysia commanded and the blaze elemental hastily obeyed. Sylph breathed in relief but the air got stuck in her… not lungs, she didn’t have lungs, the air just got stuck, when Aclysia’s eyes found her spying out of her pot. She shivered head to toe, the boundless rage now directed at her. “Never get my kitchen involved in this again.”

“Can do, I promise, I will take the bestest of care of Marvin, I really will. Please don’t be angry, I mean, you are seriously scaring me right now, why are you staring at me like that, Aclysia. Pleeassseee don’t be mad with meeeeee,” Sylph whined as she floated out of the kitchen.

“Do not threaten my kitchen – Never my kitchen,” the artificial guardian reiterated, her tone reversing back to her usual, quiet demeanour, “I make Master’s food here.”

“I promise, I’ll never, I swear on Marvin’s deliciousness, which is probably very high. I would think so, I mean, look at him. He just looks so yummy. Not that I would try him, I am just saying that he probably is very, verrrrryyy tasty.”

“I am satisfied with that promise,” Aclysia stated and smiled a bit, having found her balance again now that her domain was no longer under threat.

Sylph took Marvin to one of the unused rooms on the second floor. Using a small basket and handkerchiefs she made him a little bed and put him inside. “Today was an eventful day,” she said and smiled down on the gummy bear. Even after all of what they had been through, he still shone as radiant as ten minutes ago. “I love you,” Sylph kissed Marvin goodnight.

She leaned back and smiled even brighter. What a wonderful win against Salamander. Her lips were slightly sticky now though, she better clean that up. She licked her lips, and the sugary taste of strawberry aroma filled her entire being. It was only for a moment though, then her elemental essence had already absorbed all of the fragrance and she was left with a want for more.

‘Surely one more kiss won’t hurt, right?’ she thought and gave into the desire. First, she kissed the gummy bear, then she craved more and more, slowly moving onto eating him. “I am so sorry, Marvin,” Sylph said when she, sniffing, cut out a piece of him with her powers.

The gummy bear only looked back with his eyes of understanding and eternal wisdom. ‘It is fine, young one,’ the gummy bear seemed to speak to her as she nibbled on his ears. ‘I know no bigger honour than to be eaten by you, for you are the cutest and sexiest elemental around.’

“You are too wise for this world, truly a magnificent beast, a creature from legends, I will tell my kids about you. Not that I can have any – not that way anyway. I wonder. Maybe I should ask John about that. I mean, he has gotten a Perk offer for Aclysia, so why not for elementals? What say you, walking handkerchief?”

The handkerchief sat down at her side. “I say, Sylph, you are tripping balls right now, because this might be a bit too much sugar for you,” the dinosaur-closet ended.

“Whaaaaaaat, nooooooooo,” Sylph laughed and took another bite, “You are being stupid.”

The taste of strawberry was reinforced by cherry aroma as she kept eating, then raspberry was added to the mix. A bird passed by the window. “Does that seem to fly through honey for you?” Sylph asked the tribe of Lala-putala’s passing by.

“We do, oh mighty Sylph, heiress of wind, storm of storms, wrecker of Salamander’s Tetris score.”

“Didn’t you forget something?” Sylph asked.

The tribespeople put their masked heads, which were also their hands, together and whispered something. Finally, the Tata-putala with the smallest hand turned back to her. “Concubine of the Gamer, Johnnie Money!”

The RaRa-putala tribe vanished in a silent ‘poooof’, leaving Sylph to look at the bird again. “Yo, whaddya looking at?” It asked. Sylph was tempted to fly after it, but the gummy bear underneath her hands urged her to eat it instead. Her mouth had forgotten the way the gelatine stuck to her teeth in gooey bits of delightful sweetness. Compared to the small ones Hermes had given her, this big gummy bear was a true testament to humanity's greatness.

She had to peel the sticking stuff off her teeth with her tongue. Which was way harder than it needed to be because she needed to resist the urge to just take another bite while the previous one was still getting dissolved by her body. She also had to keep silent, and that was a task that took all of her concentration. Her vow to John, as mean as it may have been of her summoner to ask this of her in the first place, was something that she had to keep.

Wait, didn’t she just talk to the Agag-alatup tribe? What tribe? Sylph didn’t remember. Couldn’t have been that important. Did that furniture just move? ‘Those colours are new!’ Sylph thought as the world around her seemed to slowly shift back into place.

Even the bird sped up again, albeit only a bit. The distances between the furniture grew but at the same time so did the furniture. Marvin was now nothing more than three bites away from being completely gone. Sylph silently thanked the benevolent gummy bear for his ready sacrifice. Then she ate the rest of it.