Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Chapter 830 Isn't It Obvious? - That... Was My Penis.



Taking care of the corpses in the immediate vicinity took close to an hour—including burning them—though we did find a few more either partially intact or just looking like a slime that wore clothes. It really gave the term, "it was falling off its bone" its literal and much chilling side, but not all of them were exactly in that state.

Anyhow, if we didn't have more places to go later, I would've brought a pressure washer to clean up the smudgy bits.

With that said, Myke and Joe had already started to dismantle the purifying machine while Jose and I kept a lookout with our guns. On a side note, the two of us were the only ones carrying high-powered rifles while the others were using handhelds as a primary and a simple sidearm for emergencies, including Isaac.

He actually had a double-stack 1911—the one on the cheaper side—but he didn't have a proper holster for it or extra magazines if he ever ran out. Heck, I doubt that it was even full, and if by some chance—a high chance that he knows jack shit about guns, his left asscheek will have an emergency if he ever needed to draw his gun for emergencies.

I was just about to bring up that topic when Myke called out from behind, "Hey! We have a problem."

"Hmm?"

He slowly approached me while wiping his hands with a dirty towel, "When we're moving one of the storage tanks, the one that receives water from the tap is leaking. It has this small hole or something and not only that, one of those identical filter thingies has cracks on them. Do we still take them or do we just move on to the other places?"

"We take everything. We might be able to repair it ourselves when we get back. And besides, we haven't even tested the ones we have here and if they can't be repaired, we'll just make use of the other working parts as donors. You know, mix and match to see what works."

He nodded, "Alright, can I ask one more thing though?"

"Sure."

He gave me a long stare before he sighed, "Why are we the only ones doing the hard work? You helped us once but that's it."

As soon as he said that, Isaac and Jose threw him a glance—Coleen included but not Joe—and it made the atmosphere a little tense and awkward. However, I just kept my cool and gave him a small jab—a factual jab with my words.

I kept a straight face, "Isn't that obvious though?"

Myke instantly walked up to me and loomed over, "Haah?! Did you just—"

I stood my ground, "Don't misunderstand, I'm making you do all the work because you're gonna be the one doing it—and teaching the others when we're gone. We're not gonna stay here forever and be in charge of your drinking water."

Myke shook his head with a scowl, "You— Why didn't you say that from the start? Asshole."

"Asshole? Uh-huh… Listen here, Myke with a 'Y', I dunno what I did wrong for you to be so hostile against me but if you want help, just ask. And if you have something to say to me, say it straight-up, don't beat around the fucking bush. And yeah, if you're gonna give me some lip, expect to take a few."

"I was just—"

"I'm not done talking. Shut up. I know you are frustrated about your PEDs running out and if you want to take it out on someone, I'm also up for that."

Myke's eyes suddenly lit up, "Hmm!"

I added, "You see, it's far down the priority line but your gym is mixing a fucking octagon. Who cares if you have big fucking muscles but you got nowhere to let off some steam? I can easily drop anyone in my weight class and I'm looking to throw hands with big guys like you to give myself a little challenge."

"I like that sound of—"

"However, we don't do that shit now. We're still working."

"..."

"Jose can lend you a hand with lifting stuff but I'm gonna stay here with my rifle and watch out for emergencies. I have a pretty great view of everyone here and I'm not just sitting on my ass and lazing around. If you wanna have a shot at me, let's finish everything quickly so we could go home. I'll lay your ass out after that."

At that point, it was completely quiet for a few moments but Myke just burst out laughing while Coleen and Isaac didn't know what to do. The two of them were already losing their shit from the idea of Myke and I coming to blows outside but it easily got resolved by agreeing to come to blows later.

Jose chuckled after Myke and Joe went back to the store, "Hah! I don't know how you do it but you fucking did it. Tell me, have you considered working in a suicide hotline or the ones where you hold a megaphone and prevent the other guy from jumping?"

I shook my head smiling, "What's the difference between those two examples?"

"Distance?"

"Hah! I got it from my dad, diffusing a situation… He's pretty much chill while my mother's the exact opposite. They do be like that but if you see them firsthand, you'll expect one from the other."

"Do be like that? Since when did you talk like that?"

"Long story, no subtitles. Tatiana started it and it caught on with me."

"Ah…"

While the two of us were talking, I was glancing at Coleen and Isaac who were trying to fan a little outward and they tried to get into this boutique that still had a few goods laying around. Smelling rot and decay even for a few seconds was vomit-inducing so a whiff of some fragrant soap or essential oil seemed to be their go-to solution at the moment.

With that said, the two came back with these fancy gift baskets that had a myriad of items that smell nice and Myke didn't even care because he already had a particular goal in mind.

'Why do people always opt for sneakers instead of soap?'

As I glanced at the items he brought over, the storage tank and the carbon filter had some external damage but were easily fixable. All we needed to do was patch the hole in the storage tank while we only needed to print out an exact copy for the filter's plastic component. But as I said earlier, we can just have them in storage and just be used as donor parts because we didn't need to have all of the purifying machines on at the same time.

"Shall we?"

"Yeah, we could go in either direction because it's the same distance."

"Lead the way then."

After a few more hours, we finally got back to Quinn's place after a successful run without incidents but it was an hour or so after noon. Everyone had already eaten though Chef Ng and Kaley made sure to leave us some food. For some reason, Quinn was present while Kaley was handing us our portions but she was still so out of it. Well, she could now give simple responses by nodding or shaking her head slightly and it was just the funniest shit to me—the exact opposite from her crew.

Kaley whispered to me while I was eating, "Hey… Can't you just… you know? Cheer her up a bit? She was spacing out all day and it's starting to scare a few people…"

"Nuh-uh."

"W-Why?"

"I'm gonna do some delicate shit after and I don't want her destroying things once she awakens and revives."

"But… you kinda broke her… her self-esteem I mean… If that happened to me—"

I chuckled, "Relax, I wouldn't do that to you. If anything, I'll do the exact opposite!"

"You… You can actually do that? And please… don't do whatever you did to Quinn to me…"

"Of course. And to answer your question, I can do it but… it's better to do it the regular way, no? I can last until you're satisfied, why should I go to lengths that'll put a strain on me? But yeah, unless you want to, I'll do it no questions asked."

"Uh-huh… but you really need to cheer her up."

"Why? It hasn't even been six or seven chapters— I mean, it's too soon!"

"Hah? You can just—"

We were still in conversation when I saw Quinn's left eyebrow twitch momentarily and it just gave me chills like I never had before. The mixture of killing intent, anger, lust, and frustration culminated in this invisible film that was forming around her, and my head was already telling me to run. However, I would very much like to finish my food so I made a distraction.

*thump*

*thump* *thump*

It made everyone present confused.

"Huh?"

"What was that?"

"Where's that knocking coming from?"

I chuckled as I produced another thump, "That… was my penis."

Quinn's awakening halted as she snorted, "YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

As soon as the realization came from everyone present, chaos ensued as each person just died from laughter or choked on their food. Even Joe who was keeping quiet this whole time facepalmed before letting out a strained snicker that turned into hysteria.

I couldn't believe everyone fell from that because as much as I would've wanted to be genuine, I'm not gonna fucking get hard and bang my cock under from under the table. Unless it was life or death, I'll stick with my knees for the meantime.


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