Classless Ascension

Chapter 150: Josh The Yoga Master!

*Warning: Graphic Heartwarming Slice of Life.*

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"Wake up, you lazy bum! It's time for school!" Early in the morning, a sonorous shout echoed in the tiny apartment.

Josh had just woken up himself. He had dreamt of fighting a big horse, but the memory of it was already hazy. He busied himself getting breakfast ready.

A tiny girl could be seen exiting her tiny 'room', rubbing her eyes with a slight smile. She dragged her duck slippers on the ground before finally stopping at the small table. As she took her seat, she raised an eyebrow, amused.

"Josh, you sure are energetic this morning."

While she said so, she sneakily attacked the chocolate milk on the table, taking a sip. She then gave a sigh of satisfaction as she looked like a mischievous imp. Josh lightly protested.

"Hey, that's mine! Anyway, hurry up and get dressed. We have to leave soon." He pointed at her current outfit, a duck pajama. She had a few of those animal ones.

"Hm, but this outfit is the peak of human wisdom! It combines the fierceness of ducks with a cute design that none can disregard! It adds +33 to Comfy Sleep and +66 to Style!" She argued.

"Oh? Is that so? Then I suggest you put on your school clothes that will add +34 to Comfy Studying and +67 to Smartness!" He laughingly replied as he handed her his specialty: breakfast sandwich—lots of delicious stuff with enough hot peppers to kill (or close).

She happily began devouring it before she paused for a second to ask him a question. "Josh, I had a friend at school that was saying I was weird for eating hot peppers at breakfast. Why is it that some people hate such things?"

"I'd say a mix of social construct and personal preferences. Breakfast itself and what it should consist of is just cultural. We as a society determine what is appropriate and not to eat, but frankly, you should think about it yourself."

"I should determine what to eat for breakfast, you mean? Of course, since I have an amazing taste in food!"

"I meant it in general. In life, you'll come across many things that you and everyone will just take for granted. It's fine to go with the flow, but only if you think it is right. So what if eating cool food makes people think of you as weird? Does it hurt anyone? Nope!"

"Then why are there people that never eat spicy food?"

"Well, you know how it makes you feel the burn? Well, everyone feels that. It's just that some people enjoy it and some don't. I've read that it's both mental and a matter of habits, the more used you are to eating it, the easier. Apparently, it also releases endorphins."

"That's the drug of happiness, right?"

"Exactly. Alright, enough chitchat. Your sister left me in charge while she's helping her friend! I will accomplish my duty and—" That's when he stopped for the little one was giggling so hard she made her chair tremble.

"There is no school today. It's a national Holiday! You know what day it is too?!" There were stars in her eyes. He took a few instants to think.

"The day that dog rescue lady told you we could come to visit, right?" Josh finally remembered.

"Yes, exactly! I know you need to leave soon! Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. There is Mister Igloo on the other side if there is an issue. Plus, I'm super smart, beautiful, and amazing." She showed such a smug expression! Soon, he was done getting ready.

"Alright, I'll be back later! Take care!" He crossed the door and waited until she locked it behind him. Now, he just needed to knock on the door of Mister Igloo to ask him if he could leave her in his care.

He was lucky to have a caring neighbor who would watch over the little one whenever they needed a babysitter (which didn't happen often).

The man had a heart of gold but was a bit of an eccentric. He even had a collection of polar bear plushies and figurines. He was obsessed with them!

Professionally he fixed various household appliances. But, he mostly took care of fridges and air conditioners at work, hence the nickname. He was the one that had volunteered to help them.

Josh raised his hand about to knock on the man's door but stopped. This scene felt so right, but it wasn't real. He understood it from that feeling of bittersweet happiness deep inside him. He took a moment to compose himself. Since this was but a figment of his imagination, he wouldn't even bother going to work.

He pictured himself hitting the 'Pass Time' option in an RPG. You know, the kind that often failed because there were enemies nearby. Then he observed the window at the end of the hallway. From it shined a bit of light.

That is when he had the feeling that the entire Earth flipped over. The light became brighter and brighter until it began to dim. Soon enough, it was late in the afternoon. Josh turned around and reopened their door.

There she stood. Motionless, right in front of the entrance and akin to a ghost haunting the living. But, her eyes were sparkling. How long had she stood there? She did a salute and exclaimed excitedly:

"Dog Loving Princess reporting for duty! Let us inspect that one dog shelter. It's to make sure everything is in order, of course!" She tried looking serious, but her smile was bigger than that of a shark.

She extended her hand akin to a princess while giggling. Coarse skin met very delicate skin, as Josh swore to himself it would remain like this. He wouldn't let her go through too much adversity. That is how they went for a walk. On the way, he could hear her hum.

People would look at them walk on the street. Some smiled, seeing how cute and cheerful she was. Some disapprovingly shook their heads. He could hear them whisper things like:

"A father at such a young age, what a shame." An old woman sighed.

"Talk about poor! These are all cheap second-hand clothes. That pink color on that hoody is even fading." A haughty middle-aged woman scoffed.

"Tch, he has a kid? I wonder how ugly his broad is. Probably Hella, looking at his face!" A young man sneered.

Josh just kept walking peacefully and glanced at the little one. She was smirking. That's when she added without lowering her voice, "These people really are dumb, aren't they? This is why dogs are better. They're smarter."

The young man heard it, and his face became quite spectacular. A little more, and it would have taken all the colors of the rainbow! He then widened his shoulders, he slightly brought his chest out, and he began to angrily power walk to them.

"Hey, kid! Watch your damn mouth. This isn't— Eeek!" All it took was one look from Josh to shatter his momentum. Then he slowly crumpled to the floor, crying and shaking.

The little one was looking at Josh, her mouth wide open and her eyes even shinier. It was as if she had discovered that he was a real-life superhero. "How did you do that?!"

Josh took a mysterious air as if it was an unspeakable secret. Then he faked to be torn internally about whether to tell her or not. After a few seconds of obviously painful hesitation, he slowly approached her, whispering in her ear.

"It's classified information, but I've been doing yoga in secret. You definitely can't tell a soul! You'll even have to bring this key information to your grave in a few thousand years!" He gravely looked at her.

"A few thousand years?! Anyway, don't try to fool me! How is yoga even related? Also, you just stood there, no yoga involved!"

"That's where you're wrong! I was showing a perfect mountain pose right there! He knew that if he angered me, I would take out the big guns!" He had always wondered why standing straight was called a pose.

"What big guns?!"

"You know, scary stuff: Downward Facing Dog Split, Cat Cow Stretch, Cobra Pose, Happy Baby Pose, Orange Mouse Running In A Green Pasture Under aThe Vast Blue Sky pose. You know, that kind of stuff." He shrugged.

"HAHAHA! What's with these names?!" She couldn't take it anymore.

"Why are you laughing? This is serious!" Josh reiterated.

"Of course! I believe you." She nodded with all the seriousness she could muster.

"Alright, shall we go?"...

Creator's Thought

Fun fact, there were people with the <Yoga Master> Class. Let that sink in. It was similar to a dancer that would captivate its audience through a rhythmic and well-elaborated performance, except...stretching. Still, it was pretty impressive how it could actually work in the Tower, there was one girl especially that became the face of the movement. Well, people could recognize her ass more easily than her face...