Beyond Chaos – A DiceRPG

155. A Storm of Jokes

Omen: 9, 11

“What do you call a blind deer?” Adam asked.

Lanarot stared up at him, blinking at her brother.

“No eye deer!” Adam laughed.

Lanarot began to laugh after him, clapping her hands together.

Adam wiped a tear. “Okay, okay. Ready for this next one?”

“Oo?” Lanarot replied.

“Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb!” Adam laughed, slapping his knee.

Lanarot followed after, laughing and clapping as she listened to his jokes.

“Okay, wait, wait. This next one is better. Why is Peter Pan always flying?”

Lanarot smiled up at him expectantly.

“Because he neverlands.”

Lanarot continued to stare up at him.

“Oh, right. You wouldn’t get it.” Adam shook his head. 

Lanarot crawled on top of him, and Adam helped her stand on his thighs. 

“One day I’ll tell you all kinds of stories from my home. That way you’ll get all my terrible jokes.”

Lanarot started bouncing on top of him as she clutched his shirt, smiling and giggling as she played with Adam.

“Good morning, Adam.” Citool said as Adam walked out, Lanarot strapped around his chest as she looked out to the world. 

“Morning,” Adam replied, noting that she was cooking again today. She was making some porridge, with a wide variety of fruits all around. “Should I cut up the fruit?”

“Please,” Citool replied.

Adam let Lanarot down, placing a few blocks on the ground for her. “Stay here, okay?”

Lanarot crawled after him. 

“No. Stay here and play with the blocks.” Adam tossed a block passed her, causing her to turn and crawl after it.

Adam assisted Citool with making the breakfast. 

“The two pups still need to be looked after,” Citool said. “Would you be willing to take care of them while they are gone?”

“First they steal the pups, and then they abandon them,” Adam said, shaking his head. “I should steal them away.”

Citool threw Adam a quick look, but returned back to cooking the oatmeal.

The children eventually returned, having bathed and changed after their morning play, and sat down for the food. They each reached for their favourite food to drop into their porridge, though Taygak sprinkled some nuts into hers instead.

Adam held up the two pups and fed them some meat. “Hey. Don’t forget me, okay? Remember how those two went to go out and have fun without us, okay?” 

The Direwolf pups yipped and nibbled on the meat. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” 

Adam then went to feed Lanarot, feeding her a mixture of the porridge and mushy fruit. “You too. Don’t forget how Jurot went to have fun without us. I’m the one who is feeding you, so I better be your favourite brother.”

Adam felt that her bottom was quite warm against his thigh. “I’m feeding you, but I’m not going to do that.”

He handed her off to Citool, who went to change the girl.

“You will not change her?” Citool asked as she undid the girl’s nappy. 

Adam played with the Direwolf pups. “No. It’s weird if I do it.”

“Why is it weird?” Citool asked.

“Well, you know…”

“I do not.”

Adam thought for a long moment. ‘Wait. Is it weird if I change her nappy? Isn’t she my sister?’ “It’s weird if a guy changes a girl’s nappy, right?”

“It is normal to change your sister’s clothy,” Citool said. 

Adam looked up towards the sky. “You’re right, but still.”

Citool finished changing the girl who was crawling away happily, playing with her blocks. “You worry about curious things.”

“Well, yeah,” Adam said. “I grew up in a certain kind of culture, with certain views on men and children.”

“What kind of views?”

Adam shook his head. “Not Iyrlike.”

Noting that Adam didn’t want to talk about it, Citool dropped the matter. “You are more innocent than I expected.”

“I have a maiden heart.”

“You need a wife.”

Adam coughed. “I’m fine.”

“Or a husband.”

“Wife,” Adam said. “I don’t like men that way.”

“You do not?”

Adam rolled his eyes. 

He spent the next few days either taking care of his sister and the pups, or enchanting. He would feed her and the pups and play with them, or he would leave Lanarot in the care of the others as he went to enchant. 

Sometimes Sonarot would disappear, heading to the Rot family estate, or bringing the children together to teach them during the afternoon, leaving her daughter in the care of Adam and the others. 

Lanarot was comfortable with her aunts and uncles, each of whom would dutifully take care of her when they were not working. The children would often meet together with the children of the nearby estates to play and learn in the afternoon, or they would go and help the adults working, doing small chores for them.

Omen: 5, 18

Adam began enchanting the Sapphicule longsword which Entalia had brought. He wanted to make a decent weapon, so his goal was for an average which was above 20, but otherwise he had nothing else he wanted to enchant for the blade, so he allowed Fate to run its course.

Mana: 10 -> 8
Enchanting Check
D20 + 7 = 13 (6)
Omen: 5, 18 -> 5
18 + 7 = 25

A young man, adorned in chain mail, a spear in hand, brought his blade through the boar. Alongside him were his various allies, though one slipped, a boar skewering through their arm. The young man pierced through the boar which had downed his ally, and swiftly made way to their side to save them.

Omen: 15, 20

When he awoke the next morning, Lanarot sprawled on his stomach from his side, sucking against her thumb, he thought about whether he should continue enchanting the Sapphicule longsword. 

‘That 20 is so delicious though…’ He had been so lucky recently. ‘Should I begin Dunes’ weapon?’

Adam helped with cooking, this time it was Amokan’s turn, who had brought back a large amount of fish to cook. 

“You must be extremely lucky today,” Sonarot said, feeding her daughter some crushed vegetables.

“I am,” Adam admitted. “I’m thinking about creating the greatest weapon I have thus far.”

“Why are you thinking so deeply about it?” Sonarot asked, placing down some small peas for Lanarot to pick up and eat. “If you are that lucky today, then go ahead. You have time.”

“You’re right,” Adam said. “I’m thinking too hard.”

“Yes,” the Iyrmen adults said.

Adam squinted his eyes at them.

Mana: 10 -> 8
Enchanting Check
D20 + 7 = 16 (9)
Omen: 15, 20 -> 15
20 + 7 = 27

Snow blanketed the land around them. An Iyrman, dressed in heavy furs, brought his maul down against the large Icewurm’s head, nearly crushing it, as the other, an Iyrman adorned in plate mail, brought her own mace against the creature’s side, the gem head of the mace almost piercing through its thick hide. 

Beside the Iyrmen were four others, each of whom were panting harshly, trying to survive the onslaught of the Icewurm, which had nearly eaten their Dwarf whole. 

However, as the Icewurm fell upon the group again, a greatsword cut through it, as a Giant appeared. He wore chain mail, painted blue and purple. His beard was thick, covered with all kinds of trinkets, and his greatsword pulled out of the dying Icewurm. His eyes fell down onto the group, noting the two Deathsingers, and the group of four.

Two more Giants appeared, both who were equally as imposing as the first, glaring down at the trespassers.

Thunder rumbled in the Iyr, and Adam looked up towards the sky. “Seems like the storm isn’t going to end any time soon…”

“An ill omen,” the Orcish Iyrman said.

“Why did you have to jinx it, Fawyx?” Adam frowned. “Now it’s definitely something bad.”

“The Great Elders will deal with the storm,” Fawyx said. “Come, we should return.”

Adam felt there was something in Fawyx’s voice, and quickly returned with him back to the estate. As he did, he noted groups of Iyrmen rushing around the Iyr, moving about their business. 

He noted how empty it was, though as he approached the Rot family house, Sonarot opened the door for him. 

“Quickly,” she said, pulling him in by his hand.

“What’s up?” Adam asked.

“It is a Longstorm,” Sonarot said. “It is a once in a century event.”

Adam narrowed his eyes. “Is it that predictable?”

“It was,” Sonarot said. 

“Then we should be alright, right?”

“It is a once in a century event, but it had already passed twenty years ago,” Sonarot said.

“That doesn’t sound like a once in a century event,” Adam said. 

Sonarot nodded. “We will have to leave the matter with the Great Elders and the Chief.”

“Do you know what this event really is?” Adam asked.

“I have heard rumours,” Sonarot admitted. “They say it is a legendary creature who brings forth storms.”

“That sounds cool,” Adam said. 

“We have many deals with many Guardians,” Sonarot said. 

“Are you sure you should be telling me this?”

“It is but a rumour.”

“I meant the Guardian thing.”

“You already know of it,” Sonarot said. “Have you forgotten who it was that assisted in brokering a Guardian for the Iyr?”

“Me?” Adam said. “I did?”

“Big Ivory,” she said.

“Oh, him. I forgot all about him. I wonder how he’s doing.” Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled almost instantly after. 

Sonarot quickly shut the windows.

Adam glanced up towards her.

“There are things we can see, and there are things we should see.”

Adam picked up his sister, who was grumbling and pouting, near crying. “It’s okay,” Adam said. “I am here.” He kissed her forehead.

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I had so much fun writing those jokes, you have no eye deer.