Beyond Chaos – A DiceRPG

125. Just Three Words

They spent a few more days in West Wood, but after resting properly, they made their way out of West Wood, following the King’s Road towards Eagle Wing.

“What’s with you and baths?” Dunes asked. 

He had been wondering for some time why Adam enjoyed baths so much. Every morning and evening, Adam bathed, and before leaving onto the road, Adam had spent nearly an hour relaxing in the baths.

Adam sighed and threw the War Priest a look. He could see the look in Dunes’ eyes, the questioning look to a strange alien, a strange alien who he had known for so long, and yet knew for so little.

“Dunes,” Adam said, placing a hand on the Priest’s shoulder. “You have to understand one thing about me. It is perhaps the greatest thing you should know. The one thing which will explain everything about me to you.”

Dunes slowly nodded, hearing the seriousness in Adam’s tone, and he was ready to hear Adam’s philosophy, to learn about his leader, the man who was an enigma.

“Baths are bliss.”

Just three words.

“Right?” Dunes asked, staring at the leader as they walked, slowing their pace slightly on the main road. 

“No,” Adam said, understanding that Dunes didn’t understand. “Baths are bliss,” the Half Elf repeated.

“I heard you the first time,” Dunes said. “You said baths are bliss.”

Adam shook his head. “No, no. This isn’t like how you think I’m gay, Dunes. This is actually important. Baths are bliss.”

“Right?” Dunes said, only to become more confused. “Oh,” he said.

“Oh?” Adam asked, smiling. “Do you finally understand.”

“You’re not gay?”

“No,” Adam replied, sighing. “I’m not gay.”

Dunes blinked, more confused by that than the bath thing. “Really?”

“Really.”

“You like both men and women?” Jurot asked, his ears twitching. 

“No, I like women only.” Adam chuckled lightly.

Jurot blinked. “You would not lay with a man?”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Adam said. “I like women. Have you forgotten that my wife is currently being drained to allow a forest to live?”

“I did not forget, I thought it was a cringe joke you were making,” Jurot admitted. 

“It is a cringe joke I’m making, but there is a truth behind it too.” Adam nodded his head, as though he were making a poignant point.

“You’re really not gay?” said a soft voice from behind.

Adam’s head snapped to Jonn, who stared at him through that cold mask of a helmet. “Excuse me, Jonn,” Adam said, as though he were asking for a manager, “but why are you butting into this? You shouldn’t encourage the pair of them, otherwise they’ll continue misbehaving like this in the future.” Adam tutted at the Half Elf.

“It is just because you are a, you know,” Jonn said, slowly nodding his head. 

“What?” Adam asked, narrowing his eyes. “Is it because I’m a Half Elf?” His voice was accusatory, almost as accusatory as his glare through his helmet. 

“Yes,” Dunes, Jurot, and Jonn said together.

Adam’s eyes lashed fluttered rapidly as he tried to process what they were saying. “Wait, what?” He glanced between the three of them. Jurot would not lie, and Dunes and Jonn wouldn’t come together to make a stupid joke like this.

“We Elves are much more free with love,” Jonn said. “Even we with our half blood, gain that trait when we are born.”

“Oh,” Adam said, glancing between them all. 

At first he thought they had been kidding, but seeing the way they responded, apparently it was a real thing in this world. 

“So Elves are all gay?” Adam asked, curiously.

“It is not that all Elves are gay, it is that most Elves do not care about that sort of thing with who they lay with,” Jonn said. “They like the company of all manner of Elves.”

“Not just all manner of other Elves, considering we’re both, you know,” Adam said, staring up at him.

“I am certain you know what I am talking about,” Jonn said, rolling his eyes.

“Huh,” Adam said. He didn’t know much about the Elves of this world, other than the fact that they were pretty, lived in forests, seemingly, and that they were currently hated in this land for massacring an entire town.

 “I didn’t really think about it, honestly,” Adam admitted. “Though of course it makes sense that Elves are like that.” Adam rolled his eyes. ‘What terrible world building.’

“What do you mean?” Jonn asked.

“I am certain you know what I am talking about.”

Jonn paused to think for a moment, before slowly nodding his head.

“Does that mean I’m the weird one for not liking other men as a Half Elf?” Adam asked.

“Yes,” Jonn said, far too quickly. “You are queer.”

“Well, the entire point is that I’m not queer,” Adam joked, chuckling. Seeing that no one understood his joke, Adam cleared his throat. “Anyway, yeah, I love baths. It’s a thing I loved back home.”

“Elves are known for having a very different culture, especially with nature,” Dunes said, glancing towards Jonn. “Is bathing part of that culture?”

“I’m not sure about other Elves, but I like baths. Everyone I knew were Humans back home, and most of them enjoyed bathing, and others were disgusting, who didn’t know how to wash their hands properly.” Adam shook his head. “Savages.”

Hearing the word caused Jurot’s ears to twitched, and he narrowed his eyes at the Half Elf.

“What?” Adam asked, noting Jurot’s look. 

“It is nothing.” Jurot nodded his head slowly. He understood that Adam was the kind of man to use certain words without thinking too much about them, but the word was usually used to describe the Iyrmen in a negative light. 

However, Jurot also knew that Adam wasn’t like those other people. Adam hadn’t once shown any disrespect to the Iyrmen, in fact, he showed the highest of respects, and held them in reverence, something which had first caused suspicion. 

“You sure?” Adam asked, watching as Jurot nodded and turned to continue walking. 

“I understand your want for a bath, but don’t you bathe too much?” Dunes asked.

“How much should I bathe? How much do you bathe?” Adam asked.

“Once a day, usually every morning before prayer, though a second in the evening is fine if one has been working hard,” Dunes said, as though repeating what someone else had told me. “I stick with once per day.”

“Well don’t I follow those rules too? I bathe in the evening when I’ve worked hard, and I bathe every morning before morning prayers too.”

“You pray in the morning?” Dunes asked, his brows raised.

“No, I’m just saying that I pray before morning prayers, not that I pray.” Adam chuckled.

“Yes, but sometimes you don’t do much and still bathe in the evening.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, it’s just a little weird is all.”

“Haven’t we already established that I’m a queer man?” Adam asked. ‘Queer by not being queer.’ Adam smiled at his joke.

“Right,” Dunes said. “You’re too queer for me to understand you.”

“I get that a lot.”

“I know.”

Adam laughed. 

They continued along in their journey, camping for the night on the side of the road where an encampment had been made. Jurot and Kitool checked the area first, to see if anything was amiss, but once they confirmed everything was fine, the pair left to find something to eat. 

“Adam,” Kitool called, motioning her head to the road. 

Adam glanced over to see a lone figure stumbling along the road. They were quite some ways away, though they’d be passing by the camp within the hour. 

After a short while, the figure turned and made their way to the camp.

‘Oh, right,’ Adam thought. 

It was evening, so of course whichever stranger was making his way along the road would make their way to the camp.

They wore thin clothing, and a breast plate over their torso. On their back was a pack, with a shield covering it, and there was a dagger at their side, a mace at the other side, and a staff in hand. In his other hand was a large wine skin, which he was currently sipping from. Six amulets dangled from his neck, each of a different God.

“Oh!” the swaying figure said, hiccuping. “I didn’t see yous all there!”

“We were here the entire time,” Adam said, blinking.

The Priest was a tall man, in his mid forties or so, and was quite thin. Adam wondered how the man could even wear that breastplate. 

“Oh well if there’s all yous about,” he said, taking a swig of his wine skin before wiping his mouth. He dropped down his pack and brought out a large bag made of leather, which was currently corked. “Drinks on me!”

Adam blinked at the stranger. “No thank you.”

“Wha?” The man gasped, staring at the Half Elf. “Oh! It’s you!”

“Me?”

“Ay, Son of Fate!” The man began to laugh wildly, and Adam reached for his blade. “Ah, no, no, don’t mind me. It’s just that the Gods were telling me all about you.”

“What did they say?”

“They said, they says…” He blinked a few times, trying to think. “They says something about you, but I don’t quite recall. I think it was good, though one of them didn’t like you much.”

“Lord of Order?” Adam asked.

“Ah! That’s the one! He says somethings about you being a-“ The Priest fell to his side, onto the leather bag full of alcohol, and he began to snore. 

Adam glanced at the others, who shrugged their shoulders, and then looked back to the Priest. 

“We’ll keep the same watch as last time,” Adam said, blinking at the Priest again. 

Omen: 9, 17

When morning came, the Priest grabbed his head, groaning. “I drank way too much last night,” he said. “No, no, I didn’t drink enough.” He filled his wine skin up and then finished drinking his waterskin. “Do yous have any more water for me?”

Jurot and Kitool filled up the man’s waterskin with their own. Adam threw them a look, but they shook their heads. 

“Aren’t you youngsters so kind,” he said, raising his hand and an amulet as he chanted something.

Everyone stood, reaching for their weapons as they stared at the Priest, a holy man, as he cast his spell, before they were all filled with greater strength. 

Health: 52 -> 57

“Aid?” Adam said, staring at the Priest.

“Since you’re so kind,” the Priest said, before hopping onto his feet. “I should continue on my way.” He bowed his head before stepping away, making his way onto the road.

Adam glanced at the rest of the party. “Huh,” he said, smiling slightly. “That was fortunate.”

“He was a powerful Priest,” Jurot said, staring at the man’s back.

“Apparently so. To cast Aid on all us, and himself, that was quite the feat,” Adam said.

“He wouldn’t be able to cast Aid on all us, not in a single spell,” Dunes said, throwing a look to Adam.

Adam narrowed his eyes. “You’re right. How did he manage to do that?” 

“I don’t know,” Dunes said. “It seems as though he is something who is greater than we can imagine.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me,” Adam said, looking out to the Priest, who was sipping away at his wine as he stepped forward. “How strong do you think he is?”

“He is probably a Master,” Dunes said.

“A Master?”

“A being greater than an Expert. He may even be a Grandmaster.”

“Damn, those all sound so cool. Is a Grandmaster someone that’s Gold Rank?”

“Yes,” Jurot said.

“What would Diamond Rank be?”

“Diamond Rank?” Dunes asked.

“Diamond Rank is the Rank above Gold,” Adam said, smirking at Dunes.

Dunes stared at the Half Elf. “You’re too queer for me, Adam.”

Adam smiled.

They continued on their journey, heading ever forward. Adam was quite happy having met the Priest, though he wished he had spoken to him more. Apparently he was quite well known, but he wondered if he should be happy about that, considering that he had been warned by the man with the bird. 

Though he had felt lucky, it was a few days later when he felt something. There was something wrong, something which caused a shudder to run through his body. Adam’s eyes darted upwards, and flying high above them, was a creature with shimmering blue scales. Its wings beat above them as though they owned the land. 

A fucking Dragon.

“God damn it.”

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Just when they thought they knew Adam, they find out he's not gay. Now they have no idea what Adam is like.

Also, thank you to the random 5*! Expect an extra chapter out in the next few days!