Why Are You So Obsessed With Rejecting Affection?

Shushu!

Did you sleep well, Shushu?

Wyndert and Deleign were sitting in the dining room.

Big brothers.

I was excited to see them, so I rushed over to them.

Isnt it okay to stop looking so down now?

Wynderts smiling expression quickly evaporated and was replaced with an unpleasant stare as he spoke to the Grand Duke

The Grand Duke ignored him and called Edgar over with a glance, as if he had nothing to do with the conversation.

Yes, milord.

Move it.

It was the baby chair that I used, given by the Grand Duke.

My dedicated chair was made only for me who cant reach the table. With its rounded corners, there was much less of a risk of injury.

Edgar moved the chair as per the Grand Dukes order.

This is unfair!

Deleign, watching the chair being moved, shouted sharply.

My new seat was next to the Grand Duke. It was a seat that was too close to his side.

Noisy.

The Grand Duke said coldly to Deleign, who protested, striking as if intending to break a plate with a fork.

Del.

Wyndert, sitting next to him, stretched out and blocked Deleigns fork.

Deleign, who was trying to protest, looked at his brothers firm expression and closed his mouth.

Deleigns dissatisfied face became more relaxed when Wyndert sighed at the Grand Duke.

Last night was unfair.

He pointed out that it wasnt polite to stick together like we had last night, and the Grand Duke laughed.

Last night? Isnt that what you really want to do?

Thats youre right.

Wyndert looked at me with flaming eyes. The same was true for Deleign seated next to him.

Then look around, Shushu. Where do you want to sit?

She wants to sit next to me.

Of course next to me!

Uh Its good that theyre excited to be around me, but at this rate?

I pouted my lips as I watched the overreacting trio.

I want to drink strawberry juice quickly.

Oh my, young lady. Wait a minute, Ill get you a straw.

I didnt know how to answer, so I decided to ignore them.

I turned my head cutely and begged Lucy for strawberry juice.

Lucy poured out some strawberry juice that was as red as a ruby.

Wow. I closed my eyes, sipping the sweet juice.

This is very delicious.

Would you like for me to pour some milk for you so you can drink that too?

Eat this first!

The trio, who was ignored, immediately began to take a different direction.

I stared far and wide at the food piled up on my plate.

Why are you doing this?

When I asked the three, who were overly obsessed in the morning, Deleign looked straight at the Grand Duke and copied my words.

Yes, why are you doing this?!

At Deleigns words, the Grand Dukes brow furrowed.

No, include your brother too.

This situation is so unusual. I wasnt sure what to say so I could only mutter under my breath with an ambiguous and confused expression

Because Father plans to keep Shushu all to himself even though its already morning!

Because we know proper etiquette, we have endured until now. If we didnt say anything, would you have even thought about our perspective?

Deleign and Wyndert shrugged. In the end, it could be said that the Grand Duke was the cause of this.

Because shes my daughter now .

The Grand Duke muttered. Somehow, my eyes looked proud.

You didnt do things like that for us.

Wyndert quietly frowned and muttered. For me, it was a phrase that I felt guilty to hear.

I wonder if Wyndert is jealous of me?

Im finally starting my happy days with my new family, but its difficult if my family is jealous of me!

Its the Grand Duke who is doing unusual things for me right now, and it seems that hes never done those things for my brothers.

I opened my mouth quietly after looking at these three people with my eyes wide open in surprise.

Yesterday, last night!

At my words, everyone turned to look at me.

Everyone seemed very curious about what I was going to talk about.

Well, last night, the Grand Duke spoke as if he wanted to take even better care of big brothers!

In response to my words, the expressions of the brothers turned embarrassed.

It sounded like what I said was ridiculous.

What?

What did you say?

It was the same with the Grand Duke. I was a bit worried about yesterdays conversation, but

Good is good. A harmonious family is the best.

I blinked my eyes and looked up at the Grand Duke.

Will you understand my pleading heart? However, looking at the expression of the Grand Duke, I realized that he would not.

The Grand Duke was frowning heavily, wrinkles showing on his forehead.

Father really said that?

No, it cant be?

Wyndert and Deleign shook their heads. The Grand Duke hardened his mouth as if he were in a bad mood.

Are you, are you angry?

The Grand Duke is a person with a tough exterior, but he looked even more strict right now because he stiffened his face as if he was angry.

Its scary when people get angry. Hence, I felt my body shrinking because I had a history of abuse and being rejected so I closed my eyes.

Then the Grand Duke tapped the table and looked straight at me.

Why are you still calling me Grand Duke?

What?

At the bleak words, I only blinked my eyes.

Hes a Grand Duke, so whats wrong with calling him that?

Now we are father and daughter.

And we are now officially brother and sister.

Next to the serious Grand Duke, Deleign stepped in and cried out.

Then, the Grand Dukes cool gaze turned to his son and then came back to me.

Home etiquette starts with the title.

I leaned my head forward slowly and nodded.

Father.

This is what he wants right. Surely. As I spoke with certainty and confidence, I heard a sound that seemed like letting out a quick breath behind me.

Lucy?

I turned my head and saw Lucy. Once again, she made a loud, exhale sound as she suppressed her laughter.

Then she refined her expression and returned to the appearance of a neat and capable maid.

Of course Its better.

The Grand Duke mumbled with a somewhat regretful face.

Then what should I do? Whats more polite than this?

As I was still confused about what he meant, the Grand Duke rolled his eyes, then he clicked his tongue.

Two letters, two letters instead.

Two letters? I lifted my head slightly, and then I was amazed at the word that came to my mind.

Maybe you wanted to hear me say Dad?

So its like that. Now, instead of the Grand Duke, I can call you dad.

I slowly opened my mouth to meet the expectations of the Grand Duke.

Ah

Appa.

I tried to say that, but the words wouldnt come out of me.

(T/N: Appa is a more casual way of calling your father in Korea. In this part, I retained the romanization so the feeling wont be redacted.)

(E/N: In English Dad is obviously three letters but Appa is comprised of two characters/letters so that part was left unchanged for the same reason)

In my mind, it comes out so well

I tried hard to call him my dad, but it was frustrating because I couldnt speak easily.

Im sure that I think of him as my dad.

Somehow, it was very difficult to say Dad.

Is this also part of Shuelinas memory?

Is it so scary, that she cant even use the title properly, because of the feeling and insecurities that she gained after being rejected by her family?

But I dont want the Grand Duke to give up on things like this because he cares about me.

I clenched my fist with a determined heart.

As soon as the Grand Dukes face was about to dim, I shouted as if I were throwing up something.

Ah ppa!

Then, the face of the Grand Duke became bright as if he had acquired the whole world.

What does the title of Dad even mean, and was that the right one?

I glanced at the triumphant Grand Dukes face, as he gently stroked my head.

Yes, my daughter.

Then he turned his head and placed even more food from the table onto my plate.

Dad, this is too much!

While staring with a blank face, the Grand Duke tried unsuccessfully to stack the food like a tower, so he had no choice but to hold back.

Then the Grand Duke stopped moving like a rigid wooden doll.

Are you happy, right now?

Seeing that the ears of the Grand Duke were stained in a bright red shade, somehow, my heart tickled, and I became happy and satisfied.

***

I was sitting on a swing chair overlooking the garden.

This swing chair was a thoughtful change made for me who couldnt go out to the garden alone.

I think Im healthy enough. Everyone is too overprotective.

I felt very good resting on the swing while letting my body receive some much needed sunlight, right where I could see the open garden.

Ive been stretched out on the chair like a sunbathing cat for what feels like several years.

My face was moderately cool and my body was warm, so I felt good.

Excuse me, young miss.

As I lounged and grinned out of joy for my new family, I heard someones voice from behind.

It was a gardener. Oh, the middle-aged gardener whom I saw a few times from a distance when he came to tend the garden occasionally.

Yes?

As I tilted my head, the gardener gave me a white flower with a shy face.

I felt like he trimmed the flower just to give it to me.

Thank you.

I smiled, turning my head in his direction.

Then, as if he was embarrassed, he immediately bid me goodbye and I watched his quickly disappearing figure.

There are so many, how do I move all these?

From a while ago, in my arms and on the swing, the people of the mansion gave me so much.

Delicious bread, hand-knitted lace, and hand-knitted long-sleeved items.

They were simple gifts. Nonetheless, all the children of the orphanage had longed for all of them.

More important than a luxurious life, these are small gifts from family members who love me.

These were things I also always wanted to have.

Due to my hot cheeks, I was subconsciously reminded of my feelings.

This happened because the Grand Duke, after breakfast, escorted by Edgar and Lucy, delivered the news in the presence of everyone in the estate.

As you may have noticed, Shushu is my daughter now.

It was a matter that must be conveyed to the butler and the maids.

When Lucy heard that, she looked at me with happy tears.

Thats really great, lady! You are really our lady now!

Lucy is always so kind and emotional.

I really wanted to thank Lucy for sincerely congratulating me, so I hugged her.

Edgar didnt say anything clearly one way or the other, but he greeted me with a warm attitude.

Everyone in this house was really overwhelmed and pleased with my decision.

They are all my family.

Not only the Grand Duke and my two big brothers, but everyone who welcomed me like this was no different from my family.