The Extra Wants To Live

'They're like flies swarming a food waste,' Carl thought after reading the letter from the Felt family that he had received through Lilly.

'If i put it that way, I'm just trash who attracts flies.'

Carl gave himself a scathing assessmt.

Since wh had such a dirty and mean thing become acceptable?

Lucas's life, which he could barely remember now, did not provide any answers.

As Carl reflected on Lucas's life, he realized that it was not just the memories of his family that had caused him to be castrated.

Everything that Lucas's had built up through emotional exchanges with other humans had become an empty void, casting a veil of secrecy over Carl.

Memories and feelings about his family were only a small part of the great loss that Lucas's had suffered.

If that's the case, th how could Carl act so cruelly now, and yet move forward without wavering at all? Was that Carl's doing? Or Lucas's?

Carl wanted to look beyond the veil where everything was asleep.

But at the same time, he was so scared that he wanted to turn away. Maybe it was okay to ignore it.

Because he already thought of himself and 'me' separately.

So, leaving the veil behind that obscured the truth, Carl simply did what he must do and found a way to survive.

'Lilly... I have to protect my mother too.'

For the sake of his one and only family, his beloved mother Lilly, he could not stop. Because there was no way Lilly could have survived if Carl was killed by Adrian.

Carl suppressed such complicated thoughts and smiled softly at Lilly.

"Thank you, Lilly. I think things will work out well thanks to you."

"Is that so? That makes me happy."

Seeing Lilly sigh in relief, Carl forgot his worries and smiled with a pure heart.

"I'm a little tired."

"Go to sleep."

At Carl's slightly sagging voice, Lilly hurriedly approached him and took his hand to lead him.

As Carl walked to the bed holding Lilly's hand, he thought back to the day he first met her. He used to think she was a bigger foreign woman than him, but now Carl was much bigger than Lilly and he thought of her as his mother.

Carl sat on the bed, drank the lukewarm water Lilly handed him, and th lay down.

She covered Carl with a blanket while he lay in bed and fixed his messy hair, perhaps thinking that Carl was still the same sickly child he was back th who couldn't do anything.

"My hair… is annoying, so I'm thinking of cutting it…"

Carl spoke softly as a hand carefully caressed his forehead.

He was a little tired just a momt ago, but he wasn't so sleepy that he could fall asleep like this. But whever Lilly gtly caressed him as he lay down, he fell asleep like a child.

"He's a really pretty blonde, what a pity."

Lilly whispered softly to Carl, who blinked his eyes slowly.

"Wh I wear a helmet, it's uncomfortable…"

"...is that so?"

Lilly paused at what Carl said without realizing it, th tried to smile.

"Tomorrow… will you cut it…?"

"… Yes. It's late at night, so you should go to sleep quickly."

"Stay by my side…."

"Of course. Of course."

Carl seemed relieved and fell into a peaceful sleep with ev breathing. Lilly continued to stroke the sleeping Carl's head.

Cutting his hair was a bit of a shame, but it was okay.

But the fact that it got in the way of wearing the armor was excruciatingly annoying.

The night was getting deeper.

Now Lilly must go to sleep too.

But she spt long, deep nights awake, sitting by Carl's side. Wh the morning dawns, the busy Carl will have to go out again.

After the sun has set, a long time later, he will return with a smile, hiding his exhausted expression.

This lonely yet warm night was all the time that Lilly, who was of humble origins and could not ev dare to call Carl her son, could spd with him.

***

"Is something wrong?"

"If that was the case, you should have contacted Harmon. Don't waste your remaining time and use it faithfully."

Catherine spoke sternly to the fidgety Billford. But deep down, Catherine was also wondering about this situation.

Now, Carl lived a life where he divided his day into minutes and kept time precisely. Carl was so strict with himself that ev Catherine was left speechless.

Catherine was also a very hard worker, but she was just absorbed in herself.

She would run until she ran out of strgth, and wh she fell, she would lie down to rest, th get up and run again. Harsh yet simple.

Carl, on the other hand, treated himself like a cog in a precise mechanical device, like a clock.

No matter what happed, he had to do his assigned work perfectly, and no matter how tired he was, he kept moving forward without stopping for the next task.

After training so harshly that he was completely exhausted and unable to move, he would recover his stamina while studying in the library, go hunting with military personnel, and th attd a social party or tea time with the imperial knights introduced to him by Gilbert.

And in his spare time, he reviewed the letters from the Mold family and the report on Hilfin that Catherine gave him, and planned his next move.

He had be living this inhuman life for more than five days now, and he had never once missed a deadline or failed to finish what he had to do.

But, ev though more than an hour had passed since the promised time, there had be no contact from Carl.

Catherine was teaching Billford by interpreting the martial arts book writt by Gilbert, and she thought that since it had come to this, it would be a good idea for Carl to rest for a day or so.

"Sorry I'm late. I had some work to do."

Carl, with his hair tied back in a ponytail and cut off, looked so unfamiliar as he played with his hair like a shy child, that for a momt Catherine thought he was a differt person.

"… Is it strange?"

"Oh, no. It suits you very well."

"Lilly cut it for me. So, it took some time…"

Carl made excuses for being late.

No, it sounded more like bragging than an excuse.

Carl's impression had changed completely just by cutting his hair, which had be tied up in a rough and tacky way.

His hair, cut to an appropriate lgth, flowed down, diverting the gaze from his slder cheeks and eyelids, revealing an appearance as beautiful as an angel and as noble as gold.

Lilly's two hours of hard work had paid off.

'… Looking at him this way, he looks more like Adrian, whom he's wary of, than like his close frid like brother Nero.'

Catherine thought so as she looked at Carl, who was smiling shyly.

The two looked quite similar, but unlike the healthy and mature Adrian, the young and short Carl truly looked like a pure and beautiful boy st down from the gods.